Real life depression, need help! =[

[ilove64]

Back story, since I was around 4, I was ALWAYS 90% +  (Minus time in school) of the time I was awake in a "virtual" life (I mean that, 90% or more I have been either watching TV, console gaming (Everywhere, with my Gameboy when I was little, with a PSP later...) and pc gaming.

My whole life I had been feeling very different then all the other people I saw outside, in school and my family, very very different. Tv, and games made me very shy in real life... until age 15ish, I never had any good friends, got bullied in school (physically and mentally ) and was just depressed  whenever I went to school and back.... I felt like the real life is not outside, it's in TV and computers.... lonely people usually have lots and lots of time, I also did.... I always thought and thought, staring at walls with my head down, but never even cared of what people thought of me because I knew that I was a loser to them, not many people ever cared about me and I was just always depressed and depressed.

Online I had a lot of friends, everywhere.... It always made me feel good, I used to run back home from school not even walk just to forget about the "real world" and go where I belonged.

Everyone near me were always together with their friends, hanging around... but I never knew what it was like... I was a very jealous person. I never knew how to talk to people, was always waiting and waiting for people to come to me... to start talking to me, instead of going out there and making my own friends.... I waited, and waited... but nobody came, and when people did I just rejected them although that was the moment I have been waiting for all this time... I rejected them because I knew I was a loser, I stopped caring about everything... My grades went down, to the 40ish average... my parents though never expected much from me, nobody cared about me :C . I was a good person, although I was shy and miserable I had still one hobby that I would love to fofill, no it's not playing sports or being a class clown, it was helping people... The one thing I love the most until today is to help anyone, even my enemies whenever I can, but people took that fact to their advantage, they used me... I never had the guts to tell anyone know when asked for help. I would helped others with many things, and when I needed help it seemed like everyone vanished. 

 

Thankfully, these days I am not getting bullied anymore, I am turning 17 soon and have friends here and there, but there are things that still remain from my childhood, that don't leave me.

Such as my shyness. I wouldn't call myself handsome but I'm not ugly for sure... I try and try but just can't stop being shy... Hiding in my own shadow and making friends is really hard for me still... I also get over-depressed whenever something small happens because it reminds me of my horrible past.

I still game as I used to though even more... 14 hours a day in average, I really don't know what to do with my life, I feel like I'm screwed... I can get off my computer and tv, but just can't find anything else to do, I just hate going outside. For example, at this moment my family went with friends to a roller coaster park, did I come? No, I answered " I will stay here, can't come have fun". In school nowadays i'm doing decent, 80 average... but just don't know what to do with my life.... thousands of hours burned and still keep getting burned and I am moving nowhere.

I just can't feel the "joy" in life anymore and just want to get some feedback from you guys, what should I do? What should I try to become happy? How in the world can I stop being shy, talking to girls is a dream, can't even say "hi" though.

 

Edit: [Fun Fact] An interesting thing to menton is that I only get shy in real life, when I'm on my computer, even when skyping with girls here and there, I feel sooo free from shyness..... Why does this happen?

 

Just wanted to let this out of my chest, Feedback would be a life saver and sorry for my poor English.

 

Thank you so much for reading!

[TechSage]

When the going gets tough, just remember, there is a turtle rolled over on its back somewhere in the world.

[Jogostar]

When the going gets tough, just remember, there is a turtle rolled over on its back somewhere in the world.

this made me even sadder...

[TechSage]

this made me even sadder...

I'm sawwwrryyyy

[antoainb]

Just do what you like the best. For example, if you like gaming and aren't shy with a camera then become a streamer or a youtuber, especially if you like tech, try to find something that interests you, if it's helping people go help people, do what makes you happy.

[Aunik]

I think when you are online you don't see people and it feels easy to talk to them. No faces to judge you. When you are in person you get a vibe from people without even saying something and I think you just need to slowly come out of your bubble. Like say hi to random people once in a while and one day you will not be shy anymore. it can only get better 

[tryphaa]

Honestly, I went through a similar thing that you are going through now. Friends when you are young come and go, and honestly, you probably wont even know them 10 years down the line. Theres nothing wrong with liking games. We all have our hobbies. Do what makes you happy, and you'll enjoy life more.

 

Talking to people online is different as it isnt face to face. A way I like to think about it when I talk to people IRL is that, whats going to happen if they dont like me? Nothing. You shouldnt change when people dont like you. You cant make them like you so its whatever.

 

I'd say, get a small group of friends, maybe go up to the people who came up to you and talk to them. Make a club at school, and find friends that like to game like you. Then, you have people to talk to and game with, almost all the time.

 

Your problem with outside? Cant help you there. You either like it or ya dont.

 

I hope things work out for you. Everything happens for a reason.

[EthanMcL]

Hi ilove64.

Hi TechSage.

Hi Jogostar.

Hi antoainb.

Hi Aunik.

Hi tryphaa.

 

Edit: You are right.  It does make me feel better!

[MangoJuiceStain]

Well, now I'm depressed.

[ilove64]

Just do what you like the best. For example, if you like gaming and aren't shy with a camera then become a streamer or a youtuber, especially if you like tech, try to find something that interests you, if it's helping people go help people, do what makes you happy.

I used to do youtube and I LOVED IT... stopped due to my bad pc, but that's why I am now working in a job to get enough money in 2 months for a 1000$ pc, something I wasn't even dreaming of It really feels like a dream!

 

Honestly, I went through a similar thing that you are going through now. Friends when you are young come and go, and honestly, you probably wont even know them 10 years down the line. Theres nothing wrong with liking games. We all have our hobbies. Do what makes you happy, and you'll enjoy life more.

 

Talking to people online is different as it isnt face to face. A way I like to think about it when I talk to people IRL is that, whats going to happen if they dont like me? Nothing. You shouldnt change when people dont like you. You cant make them like you so its whatever.

 

I'd say, get a small group of friends, maybe go up to the people who came up to you and talk to them. Make a club at school, and find friends that like to game like you. Then, you have people to talk to and game with, almost all the time.

 

Your problem with outside? Cant help you there. You either like it or ya dont.

 

I hope things work out for you. Everything happens for a reason.

You have said some brilliant things, and after thinking about it you are totally right! Thank you. "Everything happens for a reason." , I must remember that 

 

Well, now I'm depressed.

Sorry. :C

[Aunik]

Hi ilove64.

Hi TechSage.

Hi Jogostar.

Hi antoainb.

Hi Aunik.

Hi tryphaa.

 

Edit: You are right.  It does make me feel better!

Hello Ethan.. What games do you like?

[Volbet]

I can't say I know how you feel. It's probably only you that know that. But I can say I have been in a similar situation. I have always been a shut in, and I always were the "weird kid", and in the end that really became to much for me. Just don't make the same mistake I did, and bottle it all up. It will end up in a downwards spiral. 

 

I dont really know what to say, but this: Some people are just shut ins, and that OK. Don't let other people tell you what you should and shouldn't be. Always do what makes you happy. If being social makes you happy, then work on you social skills. I know this is easier said then done, but if you feel the need to be social, then it's worth working on. 

[TechTheWorld]

When the going gets tough just remember that somewhere somebody is pushing on a door that says pull.

[tryphaa]

You have said some brilliant things, and after thinking about it you are totally right! Thank you. "Everything happens for a reason." , I must remember that 

No problem. I'm actually saving up for my pc in my sig right now, and I would love to game with you when I get it. I'll be one of your new friends.

 

I hope everything works out for you.

[ilove64]

When the going gets tough just remember that somewhere somebody is pushing on a door that says pull.

 

When the going gets tough, just remember, there is a turtle rolled over on its back somewhere in the world.

Are those meant to be funny or actually mean something? Dumbo me....

[MangoJuiceStain]

I can sort of relate. Not about the fact that I can't make friends, I can make them pretty easily, but about the fact that I hate leaving my house and interacting with people outside. I get really awkward when I talk to any stranger like even a cashier. And when my friends want me to chill with them, sometimes I make up bullshit because I don't want to leave my house. I spend most of my time on the computer and to be honest, I prefer to talk to people online instead of face to face too. 

[ilove64]

No problem. I'm actually saving up for my pc in my sig right now, and I would love to game with you when I get it. I'll be one of your new friends.

 

I hope everything works out for you.

Awwww :DDD

I am building about the exact pc lol either the 760 or 770 (didn't decide yet) and the 4770k Mind if I copy paste your build? lolol

What games do you like? I only play League of legends nowadays, due to my low end pc. But will be trying out new games FOR SURE

[TechTheWorld]

Are those meant to be funny or actually mean something? Dumbo me....

Both.

[tryphaa]

Awwww :DDD

I am building about the exact pc lol either the 760 or 770 (didn't decide yet) and the 4770k Mind if I copy paste your build? lolol

What games do you like? I only play League of legends nowadays, due to my low end pc. But will be trying out new games FOR SURE

Have you ever heard of a game called Smite? Its like league but third person, and everything is a skillshot. Im amazing, lol but sadly I cant play since my PC currently sucks and cant even run anything. I plan on playing a ton of games, like BF4 and a ton others

[manos165]

I have almost the same problem right now.Classmates bugging me with things that I dont like .[for example songs that they like but I dont].I am also  turning 17 soon.At least we are not alone in this weird society.

[EthanMcL]

Hello Ethan.. What games do you like?

Hmmm!

• League of Legends for surez. (Main Game Currently)
• Portal 1+2.  Who doesn't love Portal...
• CoD Zombies occasionally.
• Few other small games.

Not much a gamer outside of LoL!

 

Yourself?

 

What games do you like? I only play League of legends nowadays, due to my low end pc. But will be trying out new games FOR SURE

Wooot!  PM me your name if you want to play.  No promises on how good I will play (Recently I have been doing terrible.  I blame my supps! ;D)

 

Edit: Not into that Skype shizzle.  #Overrated

[JAKEBAB]

just have confidence in your self act like u are the best and dont care or if u cant have confidence go to the gym everyday find a 24/hr one and go in the middle of the night at first then as u get bigger go at normal times and then u will have confidence.

[Aunik]

Hmmm!

• League of Legends for surez. (Main Game Currently)
• Portal 1+2.  Who doesn't love Portal...
• CoD Zombies occasionally.
• Few other small games.

Not much a gamer outside of LoL!

 

Yourself?

 

Wooot!  PM me your name if you want to play.  No promises on how good I will play (Recently I have been doing terrible.  I blame my supps! ;D)

 

Edit: Not into that Skype shizzle.  #Overrated

I'm not a LOL player but I play a ton of games like arma 2 (prefer it to arma 3 and I own both) I like World at War zombies (do you have that?) A bunch of games really

[ilove64]

Have you ever heard of a game called Smite? Its like league but third person, and everything is a skillshot. Im amazing, lol but sadly I cant play since my PC currently sucks and cant even run anything. I plan on playing a ton of games, like BF4 and a ton others

Yeah, I was actually just looking at some reviews/gameplays of smite a few days ago, It's worth a try for me if I got who to play with

[ilove64]

Hmmm!

• League of Legends for surez. (Main Game Currently)
• Portal 1+2.  Who doesn't love Portal...
• CoD Zombies occasionally.
• Few other small games.

Not much a gamer outside of LoL!

 

Yourself?

 

Wooot!  PM me your name if you want to play.  No promises on how good I will play (Recently I have been doing terrible.  I blame my supps! ;D)

 

Edit: Not into that Skype shizzle.  #Overrated

I'm not great myself, but something I am good with is how to deal with ragers, feeders and bad players, just forget about them. Talking to them won't make them better and so won't it make your gaming experience better. Someone rages? Mute them right off the bat... don't even answer them altough your sure you are correct.

I play Katarina adc... you know how many people laugh at me,80% of the players, I wonder why they don't laugh anymore when the game ends and they see my score. (I main Katarina adc/mid/top/support, yes even support)

I am at bronze 3 though, due to me only playing ranked recently. I would call myself an average player.

 

IGN: TheBestYoutuber (For the lolz ) but my account just got stolen BY A "FRIEND", long story... add that account because I might get it back but I made a new account for now IGN: SSP Daniel (Add both please.)