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Our relationship is getting distant, what to do?

spirals
By spirals
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So i just met this girl online, we then start chatting, the first few days were going smooth, we were into deep stuff yknow? She got all personal, and i think she trusts me in general. One day, when we were playin a game together, she invited me to a discord call, i refused to since i never had a decent mic, and it was rly late anyways. But since then, she hasnt been chatting for much. We are getting distant. She was usually a talkative person, but now her responses seem straightforward and hurried.. i never had the guts to ask whether if somethings wrong, i wont think about it too much. But it just seems so weird, we were so close but one day she just "disappeared". I know she might be busy and stuff, were quiet lately. I dont wanna sound like a simp or anything, im not begging her to respond to me.. but i need help from this community. 

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She is a scammer. Trust me. This is their MO (method of operation). She just gave up on you to easily.

This is not uncommon.

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13 minutes ago, SansVarnic said:

She is a scammer. Trust me. This is their MO (method of operation). She just gave up on you to easily.

This is not uncommon.

Whoa, how could you think so tho? 

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Look, im not much of a relationship guy... But i know that this girl is probably either a bot, a scammer, or a really assholish person(i dont know how to phrase it well) because what decent human being would just ignore a person trying his/her best to talk to you, just because he didnt want to join you in discord. 

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2 minutes ago, spirals said:

Whoa, how could you think so tho? 

I was young once and that happened me.

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9 hours ago, RonnieOP said:

I think you are looking to far in to this. It doesnt seem like this was ever an actual "relationship" just a girl you were talking to online.

well, i mean we werent that far. Werent boy/girlfriends yet, we literally just met. I meant we were close friends.

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3 hours ago, spirals said:

well, i mean we werent that far. Werent boy/girlfriends yet, we literally just met. I meant we were close friends.

You said it yourself....you literally just met.

 

So you are looking way too far into a person you just met and talked to very little.

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22 hours ago, spirals said:

im not begging her to respond to me.. but i need help from this community. 

I have to say I quite agree with @RonnieOP here in that that you're reading too much into your friendship with her. Also, you could, you know, just ask her? Men are always seemingly overcomplicating things, when you could just ask what's going on and say that you feel something changed after you declined to join her on Discord. It's pretty much always better to just talk about things openly than not.

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3 hours ago, spirals said:

well, i mean we werent that far. Werent boy/girlfriends yet, we literally just met. I meant we were close friends.

Hey there. I'm gonna ask a few probing questions because some things feel contradictory or odd to me, and those things are what make me both confused and suspicious.

  • How long have you talked to this person for, and how long has she dropped off contact with you for?
  • Have you two ever exchanged sensitive info and IRL photos, and do you have alternative methods of contacting this person (e.g. her real-life friend group, FaceBook, Instagram)? In short, do you have a way to verify that whatever info she says or sent to you is true?
  • Besides posting on a tech forum, have you taken any other steps to reach out to her again?
  • In the event that this person does not want to talk to you, are you prepared to leave her be?

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Spirals, using the word 'relationship' for an acquaintance you met online is kind of telling, and I mean this in the nicest way possible that it's kind of a red flag.  If there's one thing I have learned over time, it's that desperation is the last thing that will help you in a situation like this.  You may either be driving away someone you could otherwise at least be friends with, or mark yourself as an easy target if their motives are more malicious.

Whatever you do, play it calm, do it with respect and honesty, and be ready to move on if you have to with no hard feelings.  You just met each other and don't owe each other anything.  You might have enjoyed some time together, but there's no obligation past that.  There's lots of things that could be happening, some here even mentioning scamming, but I think it's just as likely she's busy with something else IRL or possibly she's picked up on your interest and it's not mutual.

Also, one last thing, if a girl likes you, she won't care what kind of mic you have, and if you don't have time to talk for long, at least answer the call and let her know what's up and that it's late.  That is always better than just ignoring a call.

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