"New" Electronics upgrade argument. Dumb?

[iamdarkyoshi]

So I recently bought a Dell venue 8 Pro for 60$ to replace my Nexus 7, which I sold to a friend for 75$, so I actually gained money.

 

Recently, I bought a nexus 6P to replace my dying (and finally dead) nexus 5, as I need a reliable phone and I have a full time job, I could afford the new phone in about a week.

 

But my mom is pissed off (something she does on a regular basis) that I am never satisfied with what I have, I am always upgrading, etc.

 

She said to cool it and not buy anything anytime soon, even if I can make profit (like I did with the Dell tablet)

 

I am 18. Anyone see anything wrong here?

[manikyath]

i'm 21, flip those numbers, thats how old my parents treat me.

 

parents be parents i guess

[iamdarkyoshi]

I wonder if this has anything to do with my MacBook

 

That's 10 years old

 

And was free...

 

Hmm...

[Hackentosher]

Perhaps she notices the daily eBay orders

 

[Coaxialgamer]

i get the same stuff , even though they have absolutely no involvement in the purchases ...

Parents will be parents

[dalekphalm]

58 minutes ago, iamdarkyoshi said:

So I recently bought a Dell venue 8 Pro for 60$ to replace my Nexus 7, which I sold to a friend for 75$, so I actually gained money.

 

Recently, I bought a nexus 6P to replace my dying (and finally dead) nexus 5, as I need a reliable phone and I have a full time job, I could afford the new phone in about a week.

 

But my mom is pissed off (something she does on a regular basis) that I am never satisfied with what I have, I am always upgrading, etc.

 

She said to cool it and not buy anything anytime soon, even if I can make profit (like I did with the Dell tablet)

 

I am 18. Anyone see anything wrong here?

What I see here, is what appears to be an issue of miscommunication.

 

You should sit down with your mom, and talk to her. Have a very serious, mature conversation about why she really has an issue with you buying new things. Show her your maturity by starting a discussion like an intelligent and mature adult.

 

I suspect she could be worried about a number of things:

1. Financial Discipline. Being able to afford stuff doesn't mean you should buy them. Are you saving for your future? Investing in an RRSP or another type of long term savings or investment account? She might be worried that yes, you can afford this stuff now, but maybe you'll keep the habits up even if you lose your job, etc.

2. Wasting money. She might not see value in the things you've bought - she might also not realize that (in some cases) you're turning a profit and not actually spending any of your own money.

3. Entitled attitude. She might feel that you're entitled to everything, and cannot stop yourself from getting newer and better things constantly.

 

There could very well be additional issues she has concerns with. You should prepare arguments (but when I say arguments, I really mean debate points that are mature and rational) on each of the three points above to counter them, and show how those are incorrect/misleading/not applicable, etc.

 

You should also think about what possible other reasons she might have for reacting in the way she does. Prepare debate points for everything you come up with.

 

Then just go up to her and tell her that you two need to sit down and have a serious conversation. Don't be accusatory at all. Don't get mad. Don't yell. Don't call her insults or names. Don't let your emotions get you riled up. Just stick to the facts and logic. Furthermore, saying "my mom is pissed off (something she does on a regular basis)", isn't good. Even if it's true, don't ever tell her that (especially because if it is true, it'll just set her off).

[Yoinkerman]

Also be mindful that its entirely possible she's right about her points

[Jacktastic-Mofo]

I upgrade my shit about 24/7, it's just something my parents have come to expect.

[dalekphalm]

21 minutes ago, Yoinkerman said:

Also be mindful that its entirely possible she's right about her points

Yep, When you're 18, you often think you know best, and you're "mature and logical" and that your parents "get pissed at you for no reason".

 

When in reality, you're usually a piss-ant 18 year old know-it-all, and your parents are usually right lol.

[spwath]

4 hours ago, iamdarkyoshi said:

So I recently bought a Dell venue 8 Pro for 60$ to replace my Nexus 7, which I sold to a friend for 75$, so I actually gained money.

 

Recently, I bought a nexus 6P to replace my dying (and finally dead) nexus 5, as I need a reliable phone and I have a full time job, I could afford the new phone in about a week.

 

But my mom is pissed off (something she does on a regular basis) that I am never satisfied with what I have, I am always upgrading, etc.

 

She said to cool it and not buy anything anytime soon, even if I can make profit (like I did with the Dell tablet)

 

I am 18. Anyone see anything wrong here?

My dad is the same way. My mom is more understanding of it though.

Dad says im never happy with what I have and normally people dont keep buying new things and selling the old.

Im 17.

[dalekphalm]

1 minute ago, spwath said:

My dad is the same way. My mom is more understanding of it though.

Dad says im never happy with what I have and normally people dont keep buying new things and selling the old.

Im 17.

Well he's right. Normally people don't do that. They keep a device a long time until it's well used, then get a new one when they need it.

 

That doesn't mean it's wrong to buy new things all the time, but you need to be smart about it. You're only 17, so you should be investing most of your money into a savings or investment account for when you're an adult and living on your own. You'll be sorry if you don't. You can still buy new stuff of course, just make sure you're only doing it with money leftover after putting away a large chunk for savings.

[spwath]

Just now, dalekphalm said:

Well he's right. Normally people don't do that. They keep a device a long time until it's well used, then get a new one when they need it.

 

That doesn't mean it's wrong to buy new things all the time, but you need to be smart about it. You're only 17, so you should be investing most of your money into a savings or investment account for when you're an adult and living on your own. You'll be sorry if you don't. You can still buy new stuff of course, just make sure you're only doing it with money leftover after putting away a large chunk for savings.

I had no income, so I was just buying and selling using the same money I got from buying and selling stuff.

 

Now I have a job, half of my money goes into savings, half goes into checking.

[ShadowCaptain]

Do what you want with your own money and life

[dalekphalm]

56 minutes ago, ShadowCaptain said:

Do what you want with your own money and life

True, but a few considerations:

1. We don't know where that money came from. If his parents are giving it to him as allowance, then they rightfully so have a certain amount of say in how he spends that money, assuming he's under the Age of Majority in his area (I believe that's 18 everywhere in the US, but could be mistaken).

 

Now, he does say he is 18 on the dot, so it's a bit questionable. On one hand, he's considered an Adult by the state and legal authorities. On the other hand, he's no doubt still staying at home and either partially or fully living off of them for free.

 

Once you have your own job, and you're an adult, how you spend that money is your own choice, but parents (for the most part) are only looking out for you, and often have a legitimate concern that the OP might not have considered.

 

Now, once you've moved out? You can do whatever you damn well please.

[Urishima]

17 hours ago, dalekphalm said:

Yep, When you're 18, you often think you know best, and you're "mature and logical" and that your parents "get pissed at you for no reason".

Boy howdy, was I WRONG back then

[iamdarkyoshi]

22 hours ago, dalekphalm said:

 

Random quote because not BBCode editor.

 

1 hour ago, dalekphalm said:

True, but a few considerations:

1. We don't know where that money came from. If his parents are giving it to him as allowance, then they rightfully so have a certain amount of say in how he spends that money, assuming he's under the Age of Majority in his area (I believe that's 18 everywhere in the US, but could be mistaken).

 

Now, he does say he is 18 on the dot, so it's a bit questionable. On one hand, he's considered an Adult by the state and legal authorities. On the other hand, he's no doubt still staying at home and either partially or fully living off of them for free.

 

Once you have your own job, and you're an adult, how you spend that money is your own choice, but parents (for the most part) are only looking out for you, and often have a legitimate concern that the OP might not have considered.

 

Now, once you've moved out? You can do whatever you damn well please.

Allowance? Hah! Never ever got an allowance. I pay them for rent and insurance and gas and car and stuff.

 

I work full time.

[dalekphalm]

Just now, iamdarkyoshi said:

 

Random quote because not BBCode editor.

 

Allowance? Hah! Never ever got an allowance. I pay them for rent and insurance and gas and car and stuff.

 

I work full time.

I would say that gives you more leeway in how you do your own personal finances.

 

However, please see my large post above, where I gave you several talking points, and strategies on how to confront this situation.

[iamdarkyoshi]

Just now, dalekphalm said:

I would say that gives you more leeway in how you do your own personal finances.

 

However, please see my large post above, where I gave you several talking points, and strategies on how to confront this situation.

I already talked to her calmly before I made this post. She is well aware I made money on the tablet exchange. She doesn't care. Her point is to be satisfied with what I have. For example, I am never happy with my phone.

 

Would you be happy with a phone that gives false GPS instructions, causing you to be late wherever you need to go, a broken camera, faulty LCD, unstable OS, and a faulty battery? I didn't think so.

[dalekphalm]

4 minutes ago, iamdarkyoshi said:

I already talked to her calmly before I made this post. She is well aware I made money on the tablet exchange. She doesn't care. Her point is to be satisfied with what I have. For example, I am never happy with my phone.

 

Would you be happy with a phone that gives false GPS instructions, causing you to be late wherever you need to go, a broken camera, faulty LCD, unstable OS, and a faulty battery? I didn't think so.

Here's the thing, when she says that you are "never happy with my phone", it implies that this isn't just one faulty phone that you've replaced. It implies that you're constantly replacing your phone.

 

And, well, how frequently do you do it? Every couple years is potentially fine, but assuming you're replacing the phone every year, and paying full price for an unlocked phone? That probably is a waste of your money. You're only 18, even if you have your own full time job, you should be investing most of your money into the future.

 

Perhaps that's the issue she has? She feels like you're wasting money on frivolous stuff when you're young, and in 5-10 years, when you're living on your own, paying (more) rent, etc, you might need that extra savings.

 

Just a thought, anyway.

[iamdarkyoshi]

1 minute ago, dalekphalm said:

Here's the thing, when she says that you are "never happy with my phone", it implies that this isn't just one faulty phone that you've replaced. It implies that you're constantly replacing your phone.

 

And, well, how frequently do you do it? Every couple years is potentially fine, but assuming you're replacing the phone every year, and paying full price for an unlocked phone? That probably is a waste of your money. You're only 18, even if you have your own full time job, you should be investing most of your money into the future.

 

Perhaps that's the issue she has? She feels like you're wasting money on frivolous stuff when you're young, and in 5-10 years, when you're living on your own, paying (more) rent, etc, you might need that extra savings.

 

Just a thought, anyway.

This is my first ever new phone. Before it was a nexus 5 which was an eBay lemon, before it was a 35$ scamscum phone that corrupted two hours of unrecoverable video, before that was an HTC thunderbolt (which was free) before that was a flip phone (free)

 

The original phone was back when I was like 13

[dalekphalm]

Just now, iamdarkyoshi said:

This is my first ever new phone. Before it was a nexus 5 which was an eBay lemon, before it was a 35$ scamscum phone that corrupted two hours of unrecoverable video, before that was an HTC thunderbolt (which was free) before that was a flip phone (free)

 

The original phone was back when I was like 13

I feel like there must be more to her concerns then that.

 

Though there's also the possibility that she's simply not used to modern electronic devices becoming obsolete so quickly. I imagine growing up she never a cellphone, and that they never replaced the "Home Phone" for decades in between.

[iamdarkyoshi]

1 minute ago, dalekphalm said:

I feel like there must be more to her concerns then that.

 

Though there's also the possibility that she's simply not used to modern electronic devices becoming obsolete so quickly. I imagine growing up she never a cellphone, and that they never replaced the "Home Phone" for decades in between.

We actually had a VoIP phone ever since Magicjack was a thing

 

She actually owns a smartphone too

[Bouzoo]

On 8/25/2016 at 7:15 PM, dalekphalm said:

-snip-

Ever thought of writing to LMG to create a counseling subforum so people can post all of their problema in one place ao you don't have to hunt down those kind of threads?