Your take on how to ask someone out....

[Bajantechnician]

She's a two-faced bitch, that's what's going on. Drop her like a hot rock.

but shes a hot rock

she stuck

(VERY hot things in reality, do become burned TO your skin and begin to attack themselves LITERALLY to you)

[Bajantechnician]

calm down man. Just act normal -- no no no, not like that. I know what that was.

dunno

i know LOTS(~5) of people who say im super "good looking"

but im "annoying"

[Bajantechnician]

calm down man. Just act normal -- no no no, not like that. I know what that was.

she said hi today...

i dunno what the H̶E̶L̶L̶s̶ goin on....

 

strikethrough

[KemoKa]

but shes a hot rock

she stuck

(VERY hot things in reality, do become burned TO your skin and begin to attack themselves LITERALLY to you)

Let me nip this very much in the bud: is this attraction to this girl based on physical looks? or is it actually based off of a genuine desire to interact with someone? If it is the former, then drop it right now and find someone else. Looks should not play the main role in looking for someone to hang out with.

[Trik'Stari]

but shes a hot rock

she stuck

(VERY hot things in reality, do become burned TO your skin and begin to attack themselves LITERALLY to you)

If you think she actually likes you, confront her and say "so, do you actually like me, or do you care more about what your friends think?" Put her on the spot, in front of people. Shows a bit of confidence, and puts her off guard.

 

Let me nip this very much in the bud: is this attraction to this girl based on physical looks? or is it actually based off of a genuine desire to interact with someone? If it is the former, then drop it right now and find someone else. Looks should not play the main role in looking for someone to hang out with.

 

Agreed.

[Bajantechnician]

Let me nip this very much in the bud: is this attraction to this girl based on physical looks? or is it actually based off of a genuine desire to interact with someone? If it is the former, then drop it right now and find someone else. Looks should not play the main role in looking for someone to hang out with.

she is a very Very very nice person...........

shes not "hot" but not "bob"... eh.....

[KemoKa]

A friendship you form with someone should be started from the bottom up, not just thrown into. If the girl you are interested in does not think of you as important enough to include in her daily interactions even a little bit, well then she's not very good at the whole "long-term friendship" thing, is she? either that or she has no interest in you. Find someone else if that's the case.

[Bajantechnician]

If you think she actually likes you, confront her and say "so, do you actually like me, or do you care more about what your friends think?" Put her on the spot, in front of people. Shows a bit of confidence, and puts her off guard.

 

 

Agreed.

i sincerely believe i do not have the ability to do that

[Bajantechnician]

A friendship you form with someone should be started from the bottom up, not just thrown into. If the girl you are interested in does not think of you as important enough to include in her daily interactions even a little bit, well then she's not very good at the whole "long-term friendship" thing, is she? either that or she has no interest in you. Find someone else if that's the case.

well,

bottom up.....

gotta wait for next year

OR...

get so friendly in 5 days that shell give me her number

(schools almost out, hence 5 days)

[KemoKa]

i sincerely believe i do not have the ability to do that

sometimes you've just got to face your problems head on. If she really is interested in being friends with you, she'll take it well. If she gets super-defensive about it, then she was going to slump you off anyway.

That said, a better way of asking would be "Would you mind me being around, or is that a bother?"

My own personal way of setting myself up for a potential friend is to just put myself out as someone who can be there if someone needs someone to talk to. I'm not very confrontational myself...

[Trik'Stari]

i sincerely believe i do not have the ability to do that

Completely up to you. But (with what I know now) that's what I would do. Not worth the pain of playing it safe and just wondering.

 

sometimes you've just got to face your problems head on. If she really is interested in being friends with you, she'll take it well. If she gets super-defensive about it, then she was going to slump you off anyway.

That said, a better way of asking would be "Would you mind me being around, or is that a bother?"

My own personal way of setting myself up for a potential friend is to just put myself out as someone who can be there if someone needs someone to talk to. I'm not very confrontational myself...

 

That just sounds like a cop-out. Too passive aggressive. Too confusing.

 

If you want to be with her, just come out and say it, "I like you, I get the feeling you like me too, what's the deal? Are you just toying with me, do you just want to be friends, or should we go get movie tickets?"

 

Put her on the spot, put her out of her comfort zone. Be what I never was, bold.

[KemoKa]

well,

bottom up.....

gotta wait for next year

OR...

get so friendly in 5 days that shell give me her number

(schools almost out, hence 5 days)

Actually, yeah, I think what I would do is just tell her that if she ever needs someone to talk to, you're there for the random need. That's what I did for Zappian on this forum for a while when she was through a depressed state.

 

shots fired, perhaps, but I don't judge people at face value. I look at all sides, and if that means helping someone who may not be that popular, so be it.

[Bajantechnician]

Completely up to you. But (with what I know now) that's what I would do. Not worth the pain of playing it safe and just wondering.

 

 

That just sounds like a cop-out. Too passive aggressive.

good cop bad cop

[KemoKa]

Completely up to you. But (with what I know now) that's what I would do. Not worth the pain of playing it safe and just wondering.

 

 

That just sounds like a cop-out. Too passive aggressive. Too confusing.

 

If you want to be with her, just come out and say it, "I like you, I get the feeling you like me too, what's the deal?"

I think either would work. Like I've said, I have no experience in starting relationships, but I do know how they're stabilized and what makes or breaks them. I've not been idle in high school, I've been observant. Relationships are like aerogel. strong perhaps, but dessicant. Pour water on them and they'll fall apart.

[Trik'Stari]

Actually, yeah, I think what I would do is just tell her that if she ever needs someone to talk to, you're there for the random need. That's what I did for Zappian on this forum for a while when she was through a depressed state.

 

shots fired, perhaps, but I don't judge people at face value. I look at all sides, and if that means helping someone who may not be that popular, so be it.

Been there, done that, provided that (what they needed), IT. DOESN'T. WORK. In my experience, they just end up thinking you're a really good friend, and nothing more.

[KemoKa]

good cop bad cop

just try her out, I guess. All you can do really. If she turns out to be nice and a strong friend, then great. If she turns out to be a bitch, then that's her loss, not yours. if she shrugs you off, don't take it badly. Just be like "alright. But I'm here for you if you need me." Trust me, people like that find themselves in situations where their friends leave them and they have no one else to turn to. then, I believe, you can be friends in that case.

[KemoKa]

Been there, done that, provided that (what they needed), IT. DOESN'T. WORK. In my experience, they just end up thinking you're a really good friend, and nothing more.

sometimes that's best. I don't think a good friendship is any less valuable than an actual relationship. Sometimes it's actually better that way, and it can never hurt to be friends with someone.

[Bajantechnician]

Actually, yeah, I think what I would do is just tell her that if she ever needs someone to talk to, you're there for the random need. That's what I did for Zappian on this forum for a while when she was through a depressed state.

 

shots fired, perhaps, but I don't judge people at face value. I look at all sides, and if that means helping someone who may not be that popular, so be it.

me 2

[Trik'Stari]

just try her out, I guess. All you can do really. If she turns out to be nice and a strong friend, then great. If she turns out to be a bitch, then that's her loss, not yours. if she shrugs you off, don't take it badly. Just be like "alright. But I'm here for you if you need me." Trust me, people like that find themselves in situations where their friends leave them and they have no one else to turn to. then, I believe, you can be friends in that case.

People like that don't change, even when the chips are down. Trust me, I know. I could go into it in depth if you would like.

 

sometimes that's best. I don't think a good friendship is any less valuable than an actual relationship. Sometimes it's actually better that way, and it can never hurt to be friends with someone.

It can when that person uses your feelings against you to their own benefit. Trust me, I've been there, done that, put a gun to my head as a result.

 

 

I would confront her, if she tries to friend zone you with that BS "I don't want to jeopardize our friendship" respond with "good romantic relationships are based upon friendship, not just love and lust". Passive aggressive crap just does not work. At least it didn't with the girls I tried to date.

 

Don't write them off all together, confront her and be blunt about your intentions, but if she says "I just want to be friends" agree to it, but make it clear you don't have any interest being friends with someone who's just going to pretend they don't know you when in public, because they aren't worthy of being your friend.

 

This shows a bit of confidence on your part, that you know yourself and know what you want. It has a chance of making her realize you're a good person and not someone who wastes time with people who aren't worth it, or could backfire if she realizes she's the kind of person you wouldn't bother with.

[Bajantechnician]

People like that don't change, even when the chips are down. Trust me, I know. I could go into it in depth if you would like.

 

It can when that person uses your feelings against you to their own benefit. Trust me, I've been there, done that, put a gun to my head as a result.

 

 

I would confront her, if she tries to friend zone you with that BS "I don't want to jeopardize our friendship" respond with "good romantic relationships are based upon friendship, not just love and lust". Passive aggressive crap just does not work. At least it didn't with the girls I tried to date.

 

Don't write them off all together, confront her and be blunt about your intentions, but if she says "I just want to be friends" agree to it, but make it clear you don't have any interest being friends with someone who's just going to pretend they don't know you when in public, because they aren't worthy of being your friend.

 

This shows a bit of confidence on your part, that you know yourself and know what you want. It has a chance of making her realize you're a good person and not someone who wastes time with people who aren't worth it, or could backfire if she realizes she's the kind of person you wouldn't bother with.

u put a gun to ur head?

[Trik'Stari]

u put a gun to ur head?

Yes I did. .22 lr that my dad bought me for my sixteenth birthday. Bad .22 round, didn't go off the first time (went off the next day when I tried it out on a soda can.)

[Bajantechnician]

Yes I did. .22 lr that my dad bought me for my sixteenth birthday. Bad .22 round, didn't go off the first time (went off the next day when I tried it out on a soda can.)

oh crap

good thing it didnt go off...

[KemoKa]

 

This shows a bit of confidence on your part, that you know yourself and know what you want. It has a chance of making her realize you're a good person and not someone who wastes time with people who aren't worth it, or could backfire if she realizes she's the kind of person you wouldn't bother with.

That's what I always hope for when I drop someone for the time being. I have my standards, and I'll not lower them. sometimes they remember you, and maybe they scoff for a while, but at some point they may reflect on your stance for a bit. Reality check for them comes if they see you on the other side, enjoying your good stable friendships with people you associate with because of their standards and personalities, not because of their looks or charm.

 

again, not ubiquitous, but it does happen.

[Trik'Stari]

oh crap

good thing it didnt go off...

That's not even the least of it. I've had two loaded guns (including that one) pointed at me and the trigger pulled, that didn't go off. The second one was an accident (friend didn't know the 16 guage was loaded).

 

Yep, seriously fucks with my head considering I have what I would call mild depression (never been actually diagnosed with it. I could just be depressed because my life is shit and has been shit up until now. Never fit in at school, ever, moved around a lot, still a virgin, never had a serious relationship with someone I had feelings towards, etc.)

[Trik'Stari]

That's what I always hope for when I drop someone for the time being. I have my standards, and I'll not lower them. sometimes they remember you, and maybe they scoff for a while, but at some point they may reflect on your stance for a bit. Reality check for them comes if they see you on the other side, enjoying your good stable friendships with people you associate with because of their standards and personalities, not because of their looks or charm.

 

again, not ubiquitous, but it does happen.

Hasn't happened in my experience. The girl I tried to help, and actually deeply cared for, is now a mother, unwed. Has spent time in jail, as well as having been abused. I was a close friend with her in high school (would spend all days on end with her, outside of school as she had a different home class than me). She would stay the night at my house for days on end. I always tried to help her, support her, tell her she didn't have to end up like her crack/heroin addict of a mother, and guess how she ended up?

 

Seriously, if she had reciprocated and decided to be with me, I'd have done whatever I had to, to take care of her. I knew she had a good heart deep down, but she just didn't see it for some reason. I tried as best I could as a friend, but if she'd have been "with me" I could probably have convinced my parents to have let her live with us when her dad kicked her out. (although it was a rough time, my parents had just filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy and we were moving to a new city, all in a one week period)

 

If I could remember a lot more about my life than I do, I could write a fucking book about it and retire.