Why are people like this to me?

[Paralectic]

go to the gym wear snapbacks and yo pants low listen to real OG rap and talk and walk real though and you'll be da gangster! oh and don't forget to wear the newest Jordans 

[ShadowCaptain]

It doesn't happen on the forums like it does in real life. But basically, people are just mean and don't talk to me as much as possible. I'm not really ugly (lol) and I get straight A's across the board. I'm in all Honors classes. I'm slightly shy towards people because they are generally rude and make mean comments towards me such as "I don't care about you" or they tell me that I should burn myself or I should kill myself or some disgusting, inhumane thing like that. I'm not genuinely mean to people. I do have trouble speaking in front of a good amount of people, like I said, because they are rude and I mumble and talk a little soft (although I'm working on that). I haven't had a girlfriend in two years. So, why do you think people are like this to me? 

 

P.S. I know this isn't the forum for things like this but I just want some good answers.

 

 

I am afraid being nice and a good student really doesnt get you very far with people. As most people really do not care, and it will just make them jealous that you are riding high in school. If you are quiet and shy they will just think you are some strange hermit with no friends that spends all his spare time reading about trigonometry or something.

 

maybe you need to do something like join the sports team, do something totally out of your comfort zone, and show them that there is more to you than the quiet kid that is good at school. remember people are very shallow if you appear to be "cool" they will believe you are (hint: nobody is)

[Paralectic]

I am afraid being nice and a good student really doesnt get you very far with people. As most people really do not care, and it will just make them jealous that you are riding high in school. If you are quiet and shy they will just think you are some strange hermit with no friends that spends all his spare time reading about trigonometry or something.

 

maybe you need to do something like join the sports team, do something totally out of your comfort zone, and show them that there is more to you than the quiet kid that is good at school. remember people are very shallow if you appear to be "cool" they will believe you are (hint: nobody is)

Being yourself and having confidence is the key.

[Shakaza]

This, and stop caring of what other think so much.

Ignoring people and not caring about all the insults people threw at me really helped me in my early years of junior high and high school. I used to have an awful tic that would make me loudly breathe through my mouth, and a lot of people in the school would mock and imitate me, and I was stricken with anxiety attacks as well. And people also used to call me Lucas, when my name is just Luke, and that really bothered me, and it only motivated them to call me that more. I have since stopped caring about them calling me that, and they, magically, stopped, except for this really dumb kid in my grade who is obnoxious to everyone, but I don't see him too much to really care.

So, OP, I recommend that you try to ignore the insults as much as possible. If those idiots don't see the reaction they want, they should stop.

[LarsReviews]

Just don't care about them. I you just ignore they will stop. There was a guy in my 10th grade english class. He was bullied because he would always react with "öh, Shut up!" or push the bullies. 

 

People always try to bully someone, just ignore. But if I goes to far, like hitting then go to the principal.

 

And about the girlfriend, I never had one and I don't really care. 

[Kukielka]

Let me quote southpark real quick:

"You have to meet alot of dicks before you meet a friend."

[Leonard]

It doesn't happen on the forums like it does in real life. But basically, people are just mean and don't talk to me as much as possible. I'm not really ugly (lol) and I get straight A's across the board. I'm in all Honors classes. I'm slightly shy towards people because they are generally rude and make mean comments towards me such as "I don't care about you" or they tell me that I should burn myself or I should kill myself or some disgusting, inhumane thing like that. I'm not genuinely mean to people. I do have trouble speaking in front of a good amount of people, like I said, because they are rude and I mumble and talk a little soft (although I'm working on that). I haven't had a girlfriend in two years. So, why do you think people are like this to me? 

 

P.S. I know this isn't the forum for things like this but I just want some good answers.

What the guy below said. It is just part of life. Is this in your school or just all over in your community? I never had to deal with this sort of thing in school or in life but it could be that people are perceiving you to be non-popular and they are just picking on you. Or they could be mean to you because you are getting good grades or this could be your personal test for you to use to overcome your fears of speaking in-front of crowds. Those comments that they make the "you should burn yourself" and "you should kill yourself" Is what i have noticed to be the american way of preppy children picking on someone else. 

 

My advice is to not believe what they say or tell you to go do. Dedicate your time to overcoming your shyness but keep the gentleman in you and really how shy can you be if you have a girlfriend. If she likes you then you are probably not that bad. Maybe you just have a fear of crowds or those assess just freak you out by the way they act.     

 

Dealing with these idiots is part of life. 

[Rageodontist]

stand up for yourself, someones being a jackass you be a jackass back.

[RatedBlam]

Hmm, Things Were slightly similar for me When I Was in junior High.

But now my High school is much smaller and People have matured. Everybody gets along reslly well

[helping]

Cmon man

What? There's nothing wrong with them. You use a high quality plastic material for the printer and they're actually quite solid. 

 

Sure steel is nice, but printed ones are still extremely effective and light weight. 

[jaggysnake57]

your a geek/nerd and in school that sucks but in the real world your the guy fixes the idiots phone/laptop/facebook login/tablet......then my friend .......your a god!

[Camul]

1. If you care about yourself, people will care about you

2. Confidence will take you to another world

3. Be more social

4. Stand up for yourself (but don't be violent) 

5. Sticks and stone may break your bones, but words can never hurt. 

 

....and the award for the shittiest advice ever given goes to..... This guy! Also, when everyone fucking hates you it's a little hard to get the confidence that "will take you to another world"

[ygohome]

Growing up is hard.  I don't know your age, but the teen ages 13 - 18 can be particularly brutal.  All I can say is that it will make you a better person, as long as you don't let it get to you and make you bitter.  You will be more merciful and sympathetic to others, because you've been there. 

[MrTomnus]

....and the award for the shittiest advice ever given goes to..... This guy! Also, when everyone fucking hates you it's a little hard to get the confidence that "will take you to another world"

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. @WyvernAbstracts was just trying to give some advice. While you may have thought the post was irrelevant, that's not something to be made public. Please keep your opinion to yourself.

[_TechPuppet_]

People are mean. that's how it is. It's the old cliche of if I make fun of you it makes me feel better. Build up confidence it takes practice, the more confident you look (not arrogant-confident.) the less likely people are to mess with you, you'll blend in more.

 

Personal question, How do you dress, walk, or act? Might have something to do with that. People scrutinize and judge so easily, the littlest thing can affect how people treat you.

 

And when they do say stuff like that, brush it off and walk away confidently, it irritates them and shocks them that they couldn't affect you. They're more prone to stop it or lessen it in the future if you do.

[cae]

You're a confidence stepping stone for them. They step on you to not feel so bad about their own failings. I would say engage them; practice standing up for yourself. They won't be around when you finish school, but bosses and/or co-workers will do the same if you don't push back.

[TheProfosist]

Let it roll off of you and take none of it to heart. They make themselves feel better by saying stuff to you. If they dont get a reaction it takes the fun out of it. Plus do you really care what they think of you? Youve got your friends and family who cares what anyone else thinks or does?

I would also do what others said and avoid dealing with them unless you have to.

[wjdobie]

If you are getting straight A's then you'll be laughing in 10 years time whilst they come and pick up your Trash

Seriously though, if people don't Appreciate you for who you are, Screw them - Don't change yourself to make other people happy,

 

Once you are out of school you will be fine

[Llord Dominik]

It doesn't happen on the forums like it does in real life. But basically, people are just mean and don't talk to me as much as possible. I'm not really ugly (lol) and I get straight A's across the board. I'm in all Honors classes. I'm slightly shy towards people because they are generally rude and make mean comments towards me such as "I don't care about you" or they tell me that I should burn myself or I should kill myself or some disgusting, inhumane thing like that. I'm not genuinely mean to people. I do have trouble speaking in front of a good amount of people, like I said, because they are rude and I mumble and talk a little soft (although I'm working on that). I haven't had a girlfriend in two years. So, why do you think people are like this to me? 

 

P.S. I know this isn't the forum for things like this but I just want some good answers.

 

How old are you? Do you have a best friend? If you are in school do you have any friends there? 

 

I had plenty of trouble in high school. Between looking back at that and the issues of some of my friends and acquaintances, what I've come to realize is that life is rarely as one-sided as you seem to think it is. I mean this in two ways. First, you are mentioning a ton of negative attention that you get. Either you get some positive attention that you are consciously or subconsciously covering with the negative feelings, or at the least the negative attention is less constant than your post seems to convey. The second way that life is two-sided is that you need to put in as much effort to connect with others as you expect or need from them. If you're going to school (are you in school?) every day, keeping your head down, talking to no one, and just getting good grades, the perceptions other will start to draw around you will not be very positive. When you don't have friends and you don't make an effort to connect, people may begin to think you see yourself as better than them. They may just see you as different and may feel uncomfortable enough to attack you. The only way to get these people off your back is to open up. Make a friend. Find someone who isn't a loner, who isn't picked on, who you know shares some interest with you. Go hang out with that person in a safe place (their house or yours, yours may be preferable) and start a friendship. If you show these people that you are a real human

 

If you are still in school two more things are probably happening. One, you are surrounded with a bunch of hormone ridden sociopaths. Many of your peers likely haven't really grown up physiologically or emotionally enough to really empathize with others. They might not have the tools to understand you and the effect they have on you. Second, you're young enough (and this goes into the early 20s) that you likely hold a lot of delusions about your situation. This doesn't make you a bad person, but as you grow up you're probably dealing with stuff that's still beyond you as a singular person. Until you grow more comfortable with yourself and also gain more empathy for your abusers, you need help making sense of it. This could be a good friend to confide in, a forum member willing to listen at detail (a person in your real life would be better), one of your parents, or a therapist.

 

Healthy life isn't (just) about the internet, or games, or other distractions, it's about relationships, self-actualization, and loving yourself. If you shut yourself in and don't allow yourself or others to connect, you will become depressed. Human beings are social animals, even the introverts need human connection (I tend towards introversion in most modes of life). If you're not getting that connection with others, there's no way for you to deal with these problems. It's really hard to understand your own life if you don't see how other appraise you. You also have to accept yourself and love every part of yourself. Attempt to change the things that trouble you about yourself, or accept them if you can't. Very little can make a person bad. The things that you really cannot change do not make you a lesser person, they just make you different. You might want to try doing more sport/exercise. Any physical activity is going to make you healthier, it'll make you feel better, it will improve your mind, it'll make you seem stronger to others. 

 

Please try to understand this too: people's actions are mostly a reflection of who they are, not who you are. People lash out because the feel unsafe.

 

and oi!!!, respond to your own damn thread

 

Edit: I'm seeing a lot of responses that amount to: screw them, in the future you'll be laughing at them. They're not worth it etc. I think this is fundamentally the wrong way to think about almost anyone. Try to realize that these people are acting this way to feel more secure in themselves. They are mean because it makes them feel safer. They're dealing with their own problems the only way they know how. Try to have some compassion for them, it'll make you feel like less of a victim, and it will help you to feel better about yourself.

Edited May 13, 2014 by Llord Dominik

[LawrenceBarnes2013]

Show them what your made of and they will respect you and look up to you (Late to the Party i know)

[Camul]

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. @WyvernAbstracts was just trying to give some advice. While you may have thought the post was irrelevant, that's not something to be made public. Please keep your opinion to yourself.

Advising someone to do a 180 is not very good advice. As for the whole sticks and stones thing, that's what brought out hostility. It's so much fucking bullshit.

[Caspian]

Dude, don't worry about it. Try and find places where you can hang out with other people like you or who share similar interests, that's the best way to make friends.

 

Try and join school clubs or participate in sports (if that's your thing) if you try and be a part of the school community people will get to know you in different situations.

 

Like others said, you will most likely never see these people after you graduate so you may just have to push yourself through it. 

 

Also, confidence goes a long way, walk around with your head up high, shoulders back, look straight ahead when you walk around, at the very least it will make you feel more confident and better about yourself. I am no sexy man beast but I am confident in myself for who I am, if people give me crap for that its their problem for being petty.

One thing that really stuck with me about bullies, if you don't react to their insults then they will  stop, its about power, if they lose their power over you then they have no reason to bother you.

 

Just remember, if you ever need people to talk to, there are 72k people on this site. I am sure you can find someone to talk to, also, a large amount of peeps appear to be <18.

 

Just don't do anything rash/stupid just to fit in ESPECIALLY don't do anything to get back at them, that will only make things worse.  @helping we are trying to help, not set off Murica's next school shooting

 

@legend8887 if you want someone to talk to, you can PM me, I am always happy to help people out

[Recon-UK]

When someone with an attitude get's a wet kipper to the face, they usually back off, if they fail to, they get a knee in the ribs, then they certainly fall down.

[xjohnny3589]

just move along, thier not important in your life so thier opinion shouldn't effect you

[legend8887]

How old are you? Do you have a best friend? If you are in school do you have any friends there? 

 

I had plenty of trouble in high school. Between looking back at that and the issues of some of my friends and acquaintances, what I've come to realize is that life is rarely as one-sided as you seem to think it is. I mean this in two ways. First, you are mentioning a ton of negative attention that you get. Either you get some positive attention that you are consciously or subconsciously covering with the negative feelings, or at the least the negative attention is less constant than your post seems to convey. The second way that life is two-sided is that you need to put in as much effort to connect with others as you expect or need from them. If you're going to school (are you in school?) every day, keeping your head down, talking to no one, and just getting good grades, the perceptions other will start to draw around you will not be very positive. When you don't have friends and you don't make an effort to connect, people may begin to think you see yourself as better than them. They may just see you as different and may feel uncomfortable enough to attack you. The only way to get these people off your back is to open up. Make a friend. Find someone who isn't a loner, who isn't picked on, who you know shares some interest with you. Go hang out with that person in a safe place (their house or yours, yours may be preferable) and start a friendship. If you show these people that you are a real human

 

If you are still in school two more things are probably happening. One, you are surrounded with a bunch of hormone ridden sociopaths. Many of your peers likely haven't really grown up physiologically or emotionally enough to really empathize with others. They might not have the tools to understand you and the effect they have on you. Second, you're young enough (and this goes into the early 20s) that you likely hold a lot of delusions about your situation. This doesn't make you a bad person, but as you grow up you're probably dealing with stuff that's still beyond you as a singular person. Until you grow more comfortable with yourself and also gain more empathy for your abusers, you need help making sense of it. This could be a good friend to confide in, a forum member willing to listen at detail (a person in your real life would be better), one of your parents, or a therapist.

 

Healthy life isn't (just) about the internet, or games, or other distractions, it's about relationships, self-actualization, and loving yourself. If you shut yourself in and don't allow yourself or others to connect, you will become depressed. Human beings are social animals, even the introverts need human connection (I tend towards introversion in most modes of life). If you're not getting that connection with others, there's no way for you to deal with these problems. It's really hard to understand your own life if you don't see how other appraise you. You also have to accept yourself and love every part of yourself. Attempt to change the things that trouble you about yourself, or accept them if you can't. Very little can make a person bad. The things that you really cannot change do not make you a lesser person, they just make you different. You might want to try doing more sport/exercise. Any physical activity is going to make you healthier, it'll make you feel better, it will improve your mind, it'll make you seem stronger to others. 

 

Please try to understand this too: people's actions are mostly a reflection of who they are, not who you are. People lash out because the feel unsafe.

 

and oi!!!, respond to your own damn thread

 

Edit: I'm seeing a lot of responses that amount to: screw them, in the future you'll be laughing at them. They're not worth it etc. I think this is fundamentally the wrong way to think about almost anyone. Try to realize that these people are acting this way to feel more secure in themselves. They are mean because it makes them feel safer. They're dealing with their own problems the only way they know how. Try to have some compassion for them, it'll make you feel like less of a victim, and it will help you to feel better about yourself.

Wow, you took a long to write that I'm sure. I appreciate it, thank you.