I may be losing my mind.

[Shadow_Storm56]

Anyone ever just feel stirr crazy but at the same time not want to do anything? I know it sounds bizzare but this winter has been a back and forth battle between my body and mind. I have sleep apnea so I always feel tired but my brain never stops. I always want to do things but never want to do things. I'm a farmer so winter time for me I go from this every day up at 730 and work all day to just... relax and do whatever. Repair and maintain things for the next year but no rush to do anything. I like to relax but I also don't as it makes me think so much more about my loneliness and lack of any sort of relationship. I feel like no one really understands me except me and I live more in my head than anywhare else. Anyone else feel this way somtimes?

[Guest]

Ye

[EldritchMoose]

Work stress has this effect on me. The more stressed I get, the more off time I spend tinkering and building anything I can instead of just relaxing and sleeping.

[mr moose]

Sounds like you need some meaning in your life.   Have you tried being responsible for other people in a voluntary role. things like doing something for the community?  Maybe help run a youth event/organisation or get involved with the local footy/sports club. 

[Shadow_Storm56]

1 hour ago, mr moose said:

Sounds like you need some meaning in your life.   Have you tried being responsible for other people in a voluntary role. things like doing something for the community?  Maybe help run a youth event/organisation or get involved with the local footy/sports club. 

I have the coordination of a blind beaver with no head... so sports are not gunna happen. Plus I live in a town that well frankly kinda sucks. I started going to the gym a while ago, met some nice people there so that is fun! I'm responsible for my staff.... although I'm not sure that's the same sort of thing. Theres not alot going on around here tbh, very old population and very old fashioned thinking. But I'm not sure that's what's making me head crazy, I think a big part is idk how to clear my head and stop thinking. Brain just keeps going and going, I have literally built electrical circuits in my head in my dreams that I was having trouble figuring it out because my brain never stops. I'm very tired right now, thanks for the responses!

[Worstcaster]

7 hours ago, Shadow_Storm56 said:

Anyone ever just feel stirr crazy but at the same time not want to do anything? I know it sounds bizzare but this winter has been a back and forth battle between my body and mind. I have sleep apnea so I always feel tired but my brain never stops. I always want to do things but never want to do things. I'm a farmer so winter time for me I go from this every day up at 730 and work all day to just... relax and do whatever. Repair and maintain things for the next year but no rush to do anything. I like to relax but I also don't as it makes me think so much more about my loneliness and lack of any sort of relationship. I feel like no one really understands me except me and I live more in my head than anywhare else. Anyone else feel this way somtimes?

If you have sleep apnea, you might want to see a doctor about getting on BiPAP.  I have it was well and sleeping using the machine makes a night and day difference in the quality of my sleep and the amount of energy I have during the waking hours.  (I work nights, so I often sleep during the day).

[Shadow_Storm56]

2 hours ago, Worstcaster said:

If you have sleep apnea, you might want to see a doctor about getting on BiPAP.  I have it was well and sleeping using the machine makes a night and day difference in the quality of my sleep and the amount of energy I have during the waking hours.  (I work nights, so I often sleep during the day).

I have a machine, I can't sleep with it on. I try again once and a while for a few weeks but it keeps me awake and I get bored laying there all night.  

[N1tro199]

Fellow sleep apnea sufferer here. I know that for now, it sucks to put the mask on. I personnally hated it, it sticks, becomes irritated, dry mouth, hate warm air with humidifier.

 

But after 4 years of trying(once in a while mind you, not every day. I would go maybe couple months without trying and then try couple weeks) I can finally sleep with it. Yea I don't keep it all night, sometimes I only do half the night) But I can finally say that I felt the help from the machine. I would be able to go all day without the want to sleep. It's not perfect but it helps alot.

 

Also, you could try some sleeping aid(not sleeping pills per say) I take melatonin and it helps a lot to fall asleep, especially when you're unconfortable. 

 

You can do it!

[Shadow_Storm56]

1 hour ago, N1tro199 said:

Fellow sleep apnea sufferer here. I know that for now, it sucks to put the mask on. I personnally hated it, it sticks, becomes irritated, dry mouth, hate warm air with humidifier.

 

But after 4 years of trying(once in a while mind you, not every day. I would go maybe couple months without trying and then try couple weeks) I can finally sleep with it. Yea I don't keep it all night, sometimes I only do half the night) But I can finally say that I felt the help from the machine. I would be able to go all day without the want to sleep. It's not perfect but it helps alot.

 

Also, you could try some sleeping aid(not sleeping pills per say) I take melatonin and it helps a lot to fall asleep, especially when you're unconfortable. 

 

You can do it!

I shall try again sometime, one of my biggest issues is the way my body works I drink and desire tons of water and it's especially in the evening and before I fall asleep. Can't drink water with the mask on so it makes me dry and uncomfortable or I have to keep taking it off

[N1tro199]

3 minutes ago, Shadow_Storm56 said:

I shall try again sometime, one of my biggest issues is the way my body works I drink and desire tons of water and it's especially in the evening and before I fall asleep. Can't drink water with the mask on so it makes me dry and uncomfortable or I have to keep taking it off

I know right, I actually thought about drilling a hole to pass a straw 

[mr moose]

8 hours ago, Shadow_Storm56 said:

although I'm not sure that's the same sort of thing.

 

It's not, taking respectability for others gives us meaning, it is one of the reasons dads go crazy after divorces when they lose their kids.   People with meaning generally spend less time thinking about themselves and their position and more time thinking about getting things done.

 

Can I suggest you search for Jordan Peterson on Youtube and watch some of his videos talking about meaning and anxiety and in general mental health.

 

 

 

[Shadow_Storm56]

3 hours ago, N1tro199 said:

I know right, I actually thought about drilling a hole to pass a straw 

Omg it's terrible! Garden hose in the mouth or somthing would fix it haha

[Shadow_Storm56]

1 hour ago, mr moose said:

 

It's not, taking respectability for others gives us meaning, it is one of the reasons dads go crazy after divorces when they lose their kids.   People with meaning generally spend less time thinking about themselves and their position and more time thinking about getting things done.

 

Can I suggest you search for Jordan Peterson on Youtube and watch some of his videos talking about meaning and anxiety and in general mental health.

 

 

 

Yea sure ill take a look at it, thanks! 

[Windows95]

I was feeling better as my youtube channel was doing good and i had some motivation in my life but since the algorithm decided to kill it the other day i have been depressed since then

[Shadow_Storm56]

1 hour ago, Windows95 said:

I was feeling better as my youtube channel was doing good and i had some motivation in my life but since the algorithm decided to kill it the other day i have been depressed since then

Oh wow..... not good... sorry to hear

[Automobili3XF]

Sleep apnea, do you use the CPAP device?

My grandmother used to have sleep apnea as well, her sleep improved greatly with a CPAP.

[Shadow_Storm56]

2 hours ago, Chevy_Monsenhor said:

Sleep apnea, do you use the CPAP device?

My grandmother used to have sleep apnea as well, her sleep improved greatly with a CPAP.

If you read back I said I do :p. But it prevents me from sleeping.

[Automobili3XF]

2 minutes ago, Shadow_Storm56 said:

If you read back I said I do :p. But it prevents me from sleeping.

Due to noise, right? That is a big issue with those.

[Shadow_Storm56]

21 minutes ago, Chevy_Monsenhor said:

Due to noise, right? That is a big issue with those.

Nope just the mask and the pressure. Noise is fine.

[Automobili3XF]

3 minutes ago, Kvan said:

Never heard about it, is this device really so helpful?

Apparently it is, can't say myself, but my grandmother slept much better after she started using it.

But you can't just use it, you have to have the parameters set up correctly according to your necessity, her device was loaned by the state and they paid a guy to come and check the data on the device every month and make changes if necessary.

[jones177]

Most of my life. 

I am in safe mode.

 

Depression is a part of farming/ranching because things can easily fall apart from stuff that is out of your control(government/weather). Not being a farmer is a lot less stressful.

 

Since you're a farmer, show/breed horses.

 

Working horses is a year round thing and showing horses in the winter in southern states is a great getaway.

 

Breed horses. Showing your young horses at halter is great if you don't like to ride. It is also extra income. 

 

Most ladies are not into cows but most love horses. All my social life centered around horses and going to horse shows. That is how I met my wife(ex). She did not believe I had 11 horses.

 

I also used my maintenance equipment to build off road vehicles and later aircraft(parts of them).  This helped me when the family ranch went under(nightmare came true). I got a job in aviation.

 

After ranching and my wife divorcing me I had a breakdown. To survive I used my computer to make things like I did with the maintenance equipment but in 3D. Creating something everyday was the fix I needed.

 

For sleep you need to write a novel in your head instead of thinking about you.

Mine are like a Edgar Rice Burroughs series and they do put me to sleep.

 

I found my fix and you will too. 

 

 

 

 

[DezGalbie]

On 3/13/2019 at 4:18 AM, Shadow_Storm56 said:

Anyone ever just feel stirr crazy but at the same time not want to do anything? I know it sounds bizzare but this winter has been a back and forth battle between my body and mind. I have sleep apnea so I always feel tired but my brain never stops. I always want to do things but never want to do things. I'm a farmer so winter time for me I go from this every day up at 730 and work all day to just... relax and do whatever. Repair and maintain things for the next year but no rush to do anything. I like to relax but I also don't as it makes me think so much more about my loneliness and lack of any sort of relationship. I feel like no one really understands me except me and I live more in my head than anywhare else. Anyone else feel this way somtimes?

I absolutely feel the same way about living in my head, lacking any sort of relationship, loneliness etc. You're not alone in feeling that way.

I don't have the same sleeping issues though. If anything, I sleep too much at times. When I work I'll be working 12hr shifts which doesn't leave a lot of time for anything else when you factor in all the other daily tasks like showering, travel to and from work, cooking, cleaning etc. Then on my days off I end up sleeping like 12-14hrs a day to catch up on sleep.

I really don't know what the answer is. If you haven't found the right person (or people) to share your life with instead of simply living in your head and being alone then what can you do? I don't know.