Yeah i know its sad im asking this but how do i text a girl?

[YourNewPalAlex]

So in my school there's one girl i saw and i though she was nice upfront so i texted her, we talked the first day. Everything was fine, just making her laugh and just throwing a few dirty minded pick up lines because she was dirty minded. It was like the perfect convo, next day it dropped it a bit but it was still good. Next day i didnt have anything to say to her because i really didnt know much about her, so it was terrible mostly because i fucking panicked and i didnt know what to say, and bcuz i was the one that kept the convo going, if i stopped or made a poor job she would either respond with those convo killers like cool, yeah, nice of smth similar. Next day same thing. And here we are at 5:30 i cant sleep bcuz i feel like im gonna loose it when i got somewhat far the first 2 days. How do i keep it flowing through? Help me pleeease

[captain_to_fire]

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/

 

I think you're asking the wrong forum

[TheKDub]

2 hours ago, YourNewPalAlex said:

So in my school there's one girl i saw and i though she was nice upfront so i texted her, we talked the first day. Everything was fine, just making her laugh and just throwing a few dirty minded pick up lines because she was dirty minded. It was like the perfect convo, next day it dropped it a bit but it was still good. Next day i didnt have anything to say to her because i really didnt know much about her, so it was terrible mostly because i fucking panicked and i didnt know what to say, and bcuz i was the one that kept the convo going, if i stopped or made a poor job she would either respond with those convo killers like cool, yeah, nice of smth similar. Next day same thing. And here we are at 5:30 i cant sleep bcuz i feel like im gonna loose it when i got somewhat far the first 2 days. How do i keep it flowing through? Help me pleeease

Don't stress out about it. She's just a girl, there are millions of them in the world.

I wouldn't do anything until a more reasonable hour than 5:30 (or 7:30ish now), but perhaps just a simple "Hey" and "How are you?" or "What's up?" to get the ball rolling, then go from there. If she seems like she's interested in continuing the conversation based on her responses, you could try some open-ended non-invasive questions to learn some more about her. (I'm in no way an "expert" at this and have only been in one relationship in my life, though I have my fair share of experience with flirting/being flirted with. As captain_to_fire said, this isn't the best forum for that. You'd be best off asking on Reddit or literally any place other than a gaming or tech forum lol)

[Srnewbee]

2 hours ago, YourNewPalAlex said:

So in my school there's one girl i saw and i though she was nice upfront so i texted her, we talked the first day. Everything was fine, just making her laugh and just throwing a few dirty minded pick up lines because she was dirty minded. It was like the perfect convo, next day it dropped it a bit but it was still good. Next day i didnt have anything to say to her because i really didnt know much about her, so it was terrible mostly because i fucking panicked and i didnt know what to say, and bcuz i was the one that kept the convo going, if i stopped or made a poor job she would either respond with those convo killers like cool, yeah, nice of smth similar. Next day same thing. And here we are at 5:30 i cant sleep bcuz i feel like im gonna loose it when i got somewhat far the first 2 days. How do i keep it flowing through? Help me pleeease

lol bro... you have no skills. but ya know, we all have to start somewhere right?

1. get in shape (build up some confidence)

2. get her to perceive you as an alpha male or someone desirable

3. make her constantly laugh, ya gotta find her humor chord

4. *if you are old enough, take her out for a drink

 

[Guest]

If you don't know much about her than ask questions. People get into all this boy and girl stuff and "alpha male" what not bs. She's a person like anyone else. Just ask her what you would say to your friends or to a stranger etc. Like, "Hey, hows ur day going?". 

7 minutes ago, Srnewbee said:

lol bro... you have no skills. but ya know, we all have to start somewhere right?

1. get in shape (build up some confidence)

2. get her to perceive you as an alpha male or someone desirable

3. make her constantly laugh, ya gotta find her humor chord

4. *if you are old enough, take her out for a drink

 

He sounds like a teenager not 40 years old. 

[YourNewPalAlex]

7 hours ago, Srnewbee said:

lol bro... you have no skills. but ya know, we all have to start somewhere right?

1. get in shape (build up some confidence)

2. get her to perceive you as an alpha male or someone desirable

3. make her constantly laugh, ya gotta find her humor chord

4. *if you are old enough, take her out for a drink

 

What do you mean build up my confidence? How do i make her look at me as the alpha male and I had her humour chord but I damn lost it And no im damn 14

[YourNewPalAlex]

7 hours ago, James Evens said:

How exciting it was to be young and inexperienced ...

come on you will have more then one girl. Just be your self or the relationship will be a nightmare.

i am myself,it started of soo nicely but i fucked it up like every fucking chance with a girl

[YourNewPalAlex]

7 hours ago, RorzNZ said:

If you don't know much about her than ask questions. People get into all this boy and girl stuff and "alpha male" what not bs. She's a person like anyone else. Just ask her what you would say to your friends or to a stranger etc. Like, "Hey, hows ur day going?". 

He sounds like a teenager not 40 years old. 

Sorry to brake it up to you but that sounds like the worst thing,because it sounds booring and if i make it booring she wouldnt respond

[Princess Luna]

Just chat to her as if she's your friend, find out stuff the both of you like/enjoy and talk about it.

 

Don't be excessive "dirty mind" that gets old fast and boring unless she's a whore wannabe, and if she is then probably not the right person to start a relationship with in the first place.

 

In the long run you want to build intimacy and friendship with the person and you can only do it being yourself and finding a reason to like the other individual that allows you to have reciprocity with said person... that's when you care enough about each other's feelings... asking how has the day been going, listen to venting and such...

 

7 hours ago, RorzNZ said:

People get into all this boy and girl stuff and "alpha male" what not bs.

Although I do want to mention the thing that bothers me the most about my on-going 5 years relationship already is the fact I had to become the alpha in my relationship even though I'm the girl in it, my boyfriend while an excellent individual specially to me has trouble with excessive passiveness which yes it becomes utmost frustrating in the long run... I learned to cope with it but I'd be lying if I didn't say that was pretty much the only thing that has led me to ever consider breaking up.

 

But at this point the level of trust and intimacy we've for each other is so high that just the thoughts of starting over with a strange shivers down my spine oh well...

[Guest]

8 minutes ago, YourNewPalAlex said:

Sorry to brake it up to you but that sounds like the worst thing,because it sounds booring and if i make it booring she wouldnt respond

I don't need dating advice when I'm already dating. Girls like it when you are interested in them and put up a decent conversation rather than this alpha male rubbish. 

[Guest]

6 minutes ago, Princess Cadence said:

 

Although I do want to mention the thing that bothers me the most about my on-going 5 years relationship already is the fact I had to become the alpha in my relationship even though I'm the girl in it, my boyfriend while an excellent individual specially to me has trouble with excessive passiveness which yes it becomes utmost frustrating in the long run... I learned to cope with it but I'd be lying if I didn't say that was pretty much the only thing that has led me to ever consider breaking up.

 

I've never really had this problem because I'm quite big (There are tall and thin people, there are fat people, and there are people who are just larger) but i find it's more an attitude approach rather than physical size for sure. It's hard to change who you are in that regard. It's mostly mentality. 

[Srnewbee]

Ya gotta play some mind game kiddo. 

1.follow her like a puppy for about a month, make it soo damn obvious that she has you by the balls.

2. Cut off all contacts immediately. Her radar is gonna go haywire. She will contact u much more frequently than she used to. The ball is now in ur court.

3. Have a fun time with her outside of school. 

*important part here is physical interaction. This increases her attraction towards you.

yup, this is a morally reprenhensible advice to a 14year old kid on psychological manipulation but he gonna eventually learn it anyways. Carpe diem little one!

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, valdyrgramr said:

That depends on the girl, to be honest.  They're not all into the decent conversation or the basic interest crap.  Some actually do like the alpha type, some like both, and the same thing doesn't work with every girl either.

Well advice is advice thats all we can give. People are people, thats good and bad. 

[scs_789]

On 6/25/2018 at 10:31 PM, YourNewPalAlex said:

Next day i didnt have anything to say to her because i really didnt know much about her, so it was terrible mostly because i fucking panicked and i didnt know what to say, and bcuz i was the one that kept the convo going, if i stopped or made a poor job she would either respond with those convo killers like cool, yeah, nice of smth similar. Next day same thing. And here we are at 5:30 i cant sleep bcuz i feel like im gonna loose it when i got somewhat far the first 2 days. How do i keep it flowing through? Help me pleeease

Hey man, dont sweat it.  At 14 years old youre not likely to be a huge ladies man yet.  But gotta ask, have you talked to her in person?  Because that is going to be what keeps a girl interested; real contact.  Based on this description, it sounds like y'all have only texted, and girls will get bored of that pretty quickly if that is the only thing you have done. 

[YourNewPalAlex]

On 6/26/2018 at 3:37 PM, Princess Cadence said:

Just chat to her as if she's your friend, find out stuff the both of you like/enjoy and talk about it.

 

Don't be excessive "dirty mind" that gets old fast and boring unless she's a whore wannabe, and if she is then probably not the right person to start a relationship with in the first place.

 

In the long run you want to build intimacy and friendship with the person and you can only do it being yourself and finding a reason to like the other individual that allows you to have reciprocity with said person... that's when you care enough about each other's feelings... asking how has the day been going, listen to venting and such...

 

Although I do want to mention the thing that bothers me the most about my on-going 5 years relationship already is the fact I had to become the alpha in my relationship even though I'm the girl in it, my boyfriend while an excellent individual specially to me has trouble with excessive passiveness which yes it becomes utmost frustrating in the long run... I learned to cope with it but I'd be lying if I didn't say that was pretty much the only thing that has led me to ever consider breaking up.

 

But at this point the level of trust and intimacy we've for each other is so high that just the thoughts of starting over with a strange shivers down my spine oh well...

yeah i get what you mean, just those type of conversations, well they make it not so interesting ya know? And again if its not the best damn conversation she doesnt respond and lefts you on seen. Also shes kinda dirt minded but not to a whore level. I dont overuse those, maybe every once in a while i might throw a dirty minded joke but that depends on what were talking about. Also i will try to find out her interests as you said, but i dont know how to approach that, bcuz if i just ask "hey what do you love doing/what are your interests" i dont think she will respond. I agree about the venting but i havent gotten so close to her so she opens up. I get what you mean, but just building up trust in the normal, Hi hows your day/How are you. That doesnt work because she sees it at boring and pointless. So she doesnt respond. All ive gathered up is i need to get to know her interests and im sure she likes talking about those interests. 

[YourNewPalAlex]

On 6/26/2018 at 3:39 PM, RorzNZ said:

I don't need dating advice when I'm already dating. Girls like it when you are interested in them and put up a decent conversation rather than this alpha male rubbish. 

Dude i tried that, i tried asking her hows her day or smth like that, that makes her not respond. The outcome is not great. Every girl is different. Maybe that method worked on the girl you have. Its like the silicon lottery with overclocking of a cpu, not every chip can run at 5.2Ghz some wont, even if its the same model.

[YourNewPalAlex]

6 hours ago, Srnewbee said:

Ya gotta play some mind game kiddo. 

1.follow her like a puppy for about a month, make it soo damn obvious that she has you by the balls.

2. Cut off all contacts immediately. Her radar is gonna go haywire. She will contact u much more frequently than she used to. The ball is now in ur court.

3. Have a fun time with her outside of school. 

*important part here is physical interaction. This increases her attraction towards you.

yup, this is a morally reprenhensible advice to a 14year old kid on psychological manipulation but he gonna eventually learn it anyways. Carpe diem little one!

duuude how you made it sound like a cheat code 

 

okay okay ill try that

[YourNewPalAlex]

6 hours ago, valdyrgramr said:

That depends on the girl, to be honest.  They're not all into the decent conversation or the basic interest crap.  Some actually do like the alpha type, some like both, and the same thing doesn't work with every girl either.

I 100% agree with you.

[YourNewPalAlex]

51 minutes ago, scs_789 said:

Hey man, dont sweat it.  At 14 years old youre not likely to be a huge ladies man yet.  But gotta ask, have you talked to her in person?  Because that is going to be what keeps a girl interested; real contact.  Based on this description, it sounds like y'all have only texted, and girls will get bored of that pretty quickly if that is the only thing you have done. 

Yeah i havent. Mostly because shes in a diffrent class of mine, and school ended like 2-3 Weeks ago. And i only got the courage to talk to her now, ive tried asking her out, but she doesnt want to, so the only thing is i wait till school then i make those small convos every one in a while. Or smth else idk

[Princess Luna]

20 minutes ago, YourNewPalAlex said:

I get what you mean, but just building up trust in the normal, Hi hows your day/How are you. That doesnt work because she sees it at boring and pointless. So she doesnt respond. All ive gathered up is i need to get to know her interests and im sure she likes talking about those interests. 

Then frankly speaking if you have to over-do yourself she's not worth your time and effort in the first place.

 

The relationships worth fighting for are born from such small gestures when you just care to know about the person and all, if you have to be more than that then you're just showing off for a one night stand.

 

Out of my life experience it isn't worth the effort just for a small physical gain that might or not happen, attention nowadays is something valuable specially if you're a nice person, can't just give it for free to someone who's not giving you much future view.

[YourNewPalAlex]

7 minutes ago, Princess Cadence said:

Then frankly speaking if you have to over-do yourself she's not worth your time and effort in the first place.

 

The relationships worth fighting for are born from such small gestures when you just care to know about the person and all, if you have to be more than that then you're just showing off for a one night stand.

 

Out of my life experience it isn't worth the effort just for a small physical gain that might or not happen, attention nowadays is something valuable specially if you're a nice person, can't just give it for free to someone who's not giving you much future view.

Yeah i get what you mean, if i have to overdo myself just to make her talk to me, then its not worth it. Everyone's been telling me that, so ill give it a try with the intrests thing and some other stuff people have told me, but if nothing goes, ill just drop it. Im sure ill find a girl at some point

[BlueChinchillaEatingDorito]

 

Whatever you do... just don't say.... "So... do the carpets match the drapes?"

[Tsuki]

this shit again?

check the other 30 threads that have been made on this exact topic over the last 2 months. there is plenty of advice there.

 

[Gale]

I don't think your problem is not knowing how to text a girl, but rather the fact that you don't know how to keep a conversation flowing. Period. And that's alright, you're young... Or at least you sound like you are. But anyways, a good social tip for any occasion is to ask open-ended questions (so questions that aren't answered by yes or no). For example: What's your favourite food? When did you learn how to play chess? It's a great way to know people and make conversations less awkward.

[Crunchy Dragon]

On 6/26/2018 at 9:21 AM, YourNewPalAlex said:

How do i make her look at me as the alpha male

By forcibly driving away the competition and leaving only yourself for her to turn to.

 

Jokes aside, I agree with everything @TheKDub said.

I also wouldn't worry about getting a girlfriend until you reach college or so.