off topic: how you deal with spontaneous changes?

[Tiwaz]

Hey guys! 

I just wanted to ask you how you deal with changes in your routine or very spontaneous changes or when a friend refuses to completely plan through a meeting just a few days ahead. Other scenarios also would be if you had something planned with friend(s) and then suddenly a few hours prior to the planned meeting they either spontaneously say they cant make it or they end up being late. I just personally - and i guys most people feel that way- am very depressed or angry in these sorts of situations to the point where i am completely panicing. Sometimes I also completely shutdown for a moment and have to isolate myself from others for a minute or so and maybe cry a bit to deal with the sudden panic and stress (that often goes away very quickly) .Sometimes also being forced to face new challenges/tasks is really depressing and panicing especially now that i am at the military and have to do all sorts of stuff and some of the superiors will get really angry at you if you didnt manage to do something the way would've liked or imagined.

 

So as I said i would appreciate any tips and advice from you guys since I assume you experience also similar things since most of you are also not very old as well,

thanks in advance,

Tiwaz

[Guest]

For me it's all about managing my expectations of others, myself, and my day to day interactions. Sometimes it makes me into a bit of a pessimist. I'd rather go into something with a cautious (not necessarily negative) mind than to expect the everything to go my way.

[techswede]

A sigh and a deep breath. I like my routines. And i prefer to know stuff in advance. But shit happens and sometimes you just have to roll with the punches.

[Zusafek]

I can't plan more than 2 minutes ahead as anything can happen. Especially in my line of work. So if I get a call from friends that they had to cancel its alright. Stuff happens and you simply adjust for the change. 

[NinJake]

I'm more spontaneous than anything else. I still like having plans for important things but as @techswede said.. it's nice to just

41 minutes ago, techswede said:

roll with the punches

 

[Tiwaz]

15 minutes ago, NinJake said:

 

 

22 minutes ago, Zusafek said:

 

 

57 minutes ago, techswede said:

 

 

59 minutes ago, Legendarypoet said:

 

1. thanks for the answers

2. nice vegvisir u got there

3. Yea well i just dont know how i can properly deal with changes of plans or not having plans made several days in advance. Being confronted with even just one person i wouldnt consider close to myself just sucks and i just dont know how to properly deal with it. I always end up being depressed or a bit angry still even at small things that change, things that are unavoidable though. I mean you probably are similar to me, when i shower for example I have an order that needs to be kept ((first face, then hair, then body)) and when i am a bit kind of a bit absent because i am thinking about something and i end up putting body shampoo on my hands before i have washed my hair, I immediately wash it off my hands just so i can first wash my hair. Or for example the current workplace at the military always assigns me to random work that has to be done which really fucks me up because i cant mentally prepare myself for a situation and plan through things like when to drink and go to the toilet which really causes most of my stress there.

So how could you help me here?

 

yours sincerely,

Tiwaz

[NinJake]

1 minute ago, Tiwaz said:

nice vegvisir u got there

Thanks

 

....though I borrowed it from google and changed colors/added transparency

[NinJake]

Also, you can technically wash your hair with a bar of soap if you want.

[Tiwaz]

2 minutes ago, NinJake said:

 

 

3 minutes ago, NinJake said:

 

thats not what i meant but i just dont get it. i just get really frustrated with not being able to plan through exactly all things i do each day.

[NinJake]

Honestly it sounds like you should get a job as a project manager. They are able to plan everything done (of course leaving "some" room for the unknown. But maybe you just need to plan projects and boss people around specific timeframes things need to get done and what not.

 

Sounds perfect lol.

[Tiwaz]

Just now, NinJake said:

 

lmao do you think i went to the military just for fun? You know its either 9 months community services or 6 months military, so obviously i chose military. Also afterwards i wanna study thats also why i chose military, with the other hting i would have lost another semester till i can start to study

[NinJake]

Nothing is ever lost. You can do what you want to do as you see fit. I didn't start college until 2 years after high school. It's not like I couldn't go to college just because I didn't want to earlier.

 

I was just recommending being a project manager, I had to take a project management class and that's not really my cup of tea, but my teacher has a few businesses he runs and he's able to just by allocating time for certain things to happen. And that sounds like it's something you like to do.

[Tiwaz]

1 minute ago, NinJake said:

Nothing is ever lost. You can do what you want to do as you see fit. I didn't start college until 2 years after high school. It's not like I couldn't go to college just because I didn't want to earlier.

 

I was just recommending being a project manager, I had to take a project management class and that's not really my cup of tea, but my teacher has a few businesses he runs and he's able to just by allocating time for certain things to happen. And that sounds like it's something you like to do.

seems like you are working with a lot of people there

[Guest]

49 minutes ago, Tiwaz said:

 

 

 

1. thanks for the answers

2. nice vegvisir u got there

3. Yea well i just dont know how i can properly deal with changes of plans or not having plans made several days in advance. Being confronted with even just one person i wouldnt consider close to myself just sucks and i just dont know how to properly deal with it. I always end up being depressed or a bit angry still even at small things that change, things that are unavoidable though. I mean you probably are similar to me, when i shower for example I have an order that needs to be kept ((first face, then hair, then body)) and when i am a bit kind of a bit absent because i am thinking about something and i end up putting body shampoo on my hands before i have washed my hair, I immediately wash it off my hands just so i can first wash my hair. Or for example the current workplace at the military always assigns me to random work that has to be done which really fucks me up because i cant mentally prepare myself for a situation and plan through things like when to drink and go to the toilet which really causes most of my stress there.

So how could you help me here?

 

yours sincerely,

Tiwaz

Nothing is truly random. You can find a pattern in anything. If you cannot find the patterns in your task, develop a pattern within yourself to help cope with the spontaneity of the task. You could do this with music or even something as simple as humming or internalized percussion. Could you give a few examples of tasks?

[mrchow19910319]

be careful what kind of people you are hanging out with. 

getting canceled can give you the false belief that "i am not important" 

 

i ditched some of my old acquaintances because I felt that they dont respect me much. 

and i dont want to waste my time on people like that. 

 

but be aware of this though, if you are not careful you might end up isolating yourself from everyone else.  

[Hiya!]

Just manage your expectation on them and u must be prepared for the worst.

Usually when that happens i just eat a bunch of foods and then sleep.

When i woke up all my angers is gone.

 

[RyomaSJibenG]

it depends on the options at hand, but usually i just roll with it, but i expect things won't go so well

[PlayStation 2]

I build entirely around myself so for me personally, it's not much of an issue.

[Tiwaz]

9 hours ago, mrchow19910319 said:

be careful what kind of people you are hanging out with. 

getting canceled can give you the false belief that "i am not important" 

 

i ditched some of my old acquaintances because I felt that they dont respect me much. 

and i dont want to waste my time on people like that. 

 

but be aware of this though, if you are not careful you might end up isolating yourself from everyone else.  

lmao isolation is much better for me but i always have my family and a few best friends who'll always be there

[mrchow19910319]

1 hour ago, Tiwaz said:

lmao isolation is much better for me but i always have my family and a few best friends who'll always be there

thats all you need.

 

[Teddy07]

god, I hate changes. That´s why I prefer to stay alone because then everything is only depended on me.

[Tiwaz]

6 minutes ago, Teddy07 said:

 

 

11 minutes ago, mrchow19910319 said:

 

its already a challenge for me to lead a consversation with just one person even if its a good friend

@teddy well said

[Tiwaz]

ᛁᚠ ᛃᛟᚢ ᚲᚨᚾ ᚱᛖᚨᛞ Þᛁᛋ ᛃᛟᚢ ᚨᚱᛖ ᛈᚱᛖᛏᛏY ᛋᛗᚨᚱᛏ

[Tiwaz]

11 hours ago, Teddy07 said:

 

 

11 hours ago, mrchow19910319 said:

 

 

18 hours ago, Dan Castellaneta said:

 

 

20 hours ago, RyomaSJibenG said:

 

 

20 hours ago, Hiya! said:

 

GUYS AWESOME NEWS! Today I kissed a woman for the first time (we both are 18 yrs oldl) and she happens to be the most beautyful human being ever and very very nice and talented as well. I cant describe my happiness right now it was awesome and then we kissed several times again and i am just so happy right now guys, you all rock!

Best day of my life since my birth!

Yours sincerely,

Tiwaz

[mrchow19910319]

23 minutes ago, Tiwaz said:

 

haha! congrats!