IT Related Jokes

[beanhubbleday]

Hey,

 

Couldn't find any related ones so here goes, add your own:

 

What do you call an IT engineer from the hood?

 

Domain (say: D'main) man...

 

Look forward to seeing your contributions..

 

Jack

[Hackentosher]

This networking closet. Yes this is real. 

[Mug]

What did the computer do for lunch?

It went out for a byte

 

dad jokes ftw

[FRN]

Dad changed the the printer name to Bob Marley, because its always JAMMIN'.

 

WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

[Sir Asvald]

On 10/11/2016 at 7:09 PM, Hackentosher said:

This networking closet. Yes this is real. 

 

[FRN]

Here's another!

 

An SQL script enters a bar, walks into two tables and said, can I JOIN you?

 

LOOOOOOL!

[FRN]

A programmer was heading to the grocery store. His wife told him, "While you're out, buy some eggs."

 

He never returned.

[Rohime]

I've got a really good IT related joke.   

 

Its so funny, I love it:

 

I.B.M.

 

Enough said.

[Rohime]

Heres another one I made up myself:

 

"A classic period home"  

127.0.0.1  

"Renovated large family home"  

::1  

 

  ('period' - get it ?   ha ha ha ).

 ( the second one is subtle).

 

Copyright for my T-Shirts.

[Nuluvius]

Did you hear the one about UDP?

 

You'll either get it or you won't...

[Coaxialgamer]

A programmer's wife asks her husband : 

 

Can you get a loaf of bread from the supermarket ?

If they have eggs , get a dozen .

 

The programmer then comes back with 12 loaves of bread

 

[mrchow19910319]

6 hours ago, FRN said:

A programmer was heading to the grocery store. His wife told him, "While you're out, buy some eggs."

 

He never returned.

The version I heard was: 

 

A programmer went to the grocery store, his wife told him : Buy some bread, and if there is egg, buy 2.

Then the programmer bought 2 bread home. 

 

@Coaxialgamer Damn it you are earlier than me. 

[soldier_ph]

Now that the Power is out, UPS need's to deliver some of that Stored Power...

 

 

get it ? , because UPS Stands for 2-things 

 

1: Uninterruptible Power Supply

 

2: UPS the delivering service 

[mrchow19910319]

Reddit *cough*

 

 

 

 

 

How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. That's a hardware issue.

[KenjiUmino]

ever heard of a band called "the 1023 megabytes" ???

 

their music is awesome but they never had a gig

[Akolyte]

6 minutes ago, KenjiUmino said:

ever heard of a band called "the 1023 megabytes" ???

 

their music is awesome but they never had a gig

These I.T jokes are so bad they are good!  Good joke! 

29 minutes ago, Fooshi said:

I love this one!  Gonna have to show this to my networking teacher, happens to be my next class

11 hours ago, Coaxialgamer said:

A programmer's wife asks her husband : 

 

Can you get a loaf of bread from the supermarket ?

If they have eggs , get a dozen .

 

The programmer then comes back with 12 loaves of bread

 

This is one of those jokes everyone has heard or seen at least once, still a good joke just a little stale. 

12 hours ago, Nuluvius said:

Did you hear the one about UDP?

 

You'll either get it or you won't...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL  This is a fantastic joke!  

13 hours ago, Rohime said:

I've got a really good IT related joke.   

 

Its so funny, I love it:

 

I.B.M.

 

Enough said.

What's funny about IBM though? I 

14 hours ago, FRN said:

A programmer was heading to the grocery store. His wife told him, "While you're out, buy some eggs."

 

He never returned.

This is a good joke too!  Or you could also say he returned with 0, but that wouldn't entirely make sense.  This is a good joke on it's own! 

14 hours ago, FRN said:

Here's another!

 

An SQL script enters a bar, walks into two tables and said, can I JOIN you?

 

LOOOOOOL!

Cool. 

On 10/12/2016 at 1:28 PM, Mug said:

What did the computer do for lunch?

It went out for a byte

 

dad jokes ftw

I don't know why they are called dad jokes?  I like dad jokes and I'm not a dad! 

[FRN]

1 hour ago, Mike_The_B0ss said:

These I.T jokes are so bad they are good!  Good joke! 

They're good one bit.

[FRN]

Here's a good IT joke.

 

 

INTERNET EXPLORER

 

 

 

Why did the programmer left his job? He didn't get ARRAYS (pun on "a raise", or "salary raise" and arrays)

 

Why did the girl left his java programmer boyfriend? She's tired of being treated as an object.

[Akolyte]

7 minutes ago, FRN said:

They're good one bit.

You ruined it, sorry but that joke sucked. 

5 minutes ago, FRN said:

Here's a good IT joke.

 

 

INTERNET EXPLORER

That joke sucked too. Sorry. 

[FRN]

1 hour ago, Mike_The_B0ss said:

This is a good joke too!  Or you could also say he returned with 0, but that wouldn't entirely make sense.  This is a good joke on it's own! 

Can I also tell you that their family went broke? Go figure.

[Bradl79]

58 minutes ago, FRN said:

Here's a good IT joke.

 

 

INTERNET EXPLORER

 

 

 

Why did the programmer left his job? He didn't get ARRAYS (pun on "a raise", or "salary raise" and arrays)

 

Why did the girl left his java programmer boyfriend? She's tired of being treated as an object.

lol so true

[Space Reptile]

have you heard about video games? 

[Rohime]

11 hours ago, Mike_The_B0ss said:

What's funny about IBM though?

Obviously you have never been a customer trying to get them to deliver a quality outcome on a mega sized project ... 

[Akolyte]

2 hours ago, Rohime said:

Obviously you have never been a customer trying to get them to deliver a quality outcome on a mega sized project ... 

I don't know what you mean by a "mega sized project"  If it is a startup, of course you are going to have problems because it's a pain to get any services (I've had experience there).  But if you mean something like an already existing company, I know Wells Fargo dropped DB2 about 2 years ago, which could have been caused by bad support.  

 

But I also know a product manager who also happens to work on the DB2 software, he is a very good software engineer and deals with lots of customers, so I trust him that DB2 is good software.