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Post your favourite hilarious fake news stories/fake twitter threads etc

ShadowCaptain
By ShadowCaptain
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Here is a good one:

 

Wonga declares £37.3m loss after accidentally borrowing a fiver from itself

 

 

Wonga’s CEO, Norman Bugger-Crumpets, said “The irony isn’t lost on us.” (Literally the best name ever)

 

“I’ve begged our collections team to let us off the hook, but we’ve programmed them to be single-minded heartless wank-pheasants of the highest order.”
 
“They’ve told us we either have to pay up, or some thoroughly terrifying men will come to take anything that isn’t nailed down, and maybe have a go on my wife.”

 

 

http://newsthump.com/2015/04/21/wonga-declares-37-3m-loss-after-accidentally-borrowing-a-fiver-from-itself/

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Fake new FAKE NEWS FAKE NEWS!!

 

Interesting. So are we gonna call this thread The Verge

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Listen if you care.

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Well, it wasn't fake, but it DAMNED SURE was hilarious.

http://abcnews.go.com/Business/bank-america-florida-foreclosed-angry-homeowner-bofa/story?id=13775638

 

BofA tries to foreclose on someone who doesn't have a mortgage, refuses to pay damages, ends up getting foreclosed on (and their entire branch seized) by that homeowner.

 

HAH

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BofA tries to foreclose on someone who doesn't have a mortgage, refuses to pay damages, ends up getting foreclosed on (and their entire branch seized) by that homeowner.

 

 

That is amazing

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That is amazing

Indeed it was. Even the repo men (legit repo men) thought it was hilarious to be repossessing a bank for once.

 

Now if only it could happen about a thousand times over to other banks, ISP's, giant corporations, and governments.

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NBA Draft Selects Obama
 

 

In the latest round of NBA draft picks the Chicago Bulls signed Barak Obama to a five year multimillion dollar contract. With the exception of his high IQ, he met all the criteria for player eligibility - tall, black, and lanky.

He was chosen above many more qualified players because Bull's General Manager simply feared for his life. For Obama, the pick was his reward for eight long years of training night and day on the basketball court in the basement of the White House.
Nevertheless the rookie point guard will be benched for the duration of his five year stint.

 

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Trump: I Would Attack ISIS on Twitter
 

 

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In an effort to boost his foreign-policy credentials, the billionaire Donald Trump on Tuesday said that, if he were elected President, he would defeat ISIS with “brutal and relentless” attacks on Twitter.

 
“Under President Obama, ISIS has been able to maraud and rampage with impunity,” Trump told Fox News. “When I’m in the White House, the leaders of ISIS are going to bear the brunt of the most vicious tweets the world has ever known.”
 
The real-estate mogul said that, as President, he would set aside a portion of the time that he currently allots to excoriating journalists, politicians, and assorted other perceived enemies on Twitter to focus his fury on the leaders of ISIS.
 
“Of all the people running for President, I have by far the most Twitter-war experience,” he boasted. “I will declare an all-out Twitter war on ISIS, and I will win.”
 
Offering a taste of his proposed Twitter campaign, Trump produced this sample tweet: “ISIS is a total joke. Has zero chance of winning. Zero!”
 
Another prospective tweet read, “ISIS leaders live in tents. Trump has TEN BILLION DOLLARS. Kicks their ass!”
 
In yet another example, he offered, “Never see ISIS leaders with models. Why? Cannot get models. Models love Trump!”
 
The former reality-show star also blasted President Obama for having a Twitter account with more than three million followers and never once using it to call Russian President Vladimir Putin a loser.

 

Our Grace. The Feathered One. He shows us the way. His bob is majestic and shows us the path. Follow unto his guidance and His example. He knows the one true path. Our Saviour. Our Grace. Our Father Birb has taught us with His humble heart and gentle wing the way of the bob. Let us show Him our reverence and follow in His example. The True Path of the Feathered One. ~ Dimboble-dubabob III

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Trump: I Would Attack ISIS on Twitter
 

 

 

I'm not sure if that's real or fake, but I do think it would be funny to hire a whitehouse intern to constantly troll ISIS on twitter.

 

Or hire a couple of them, cyber bully ISIS constantly.

Ketchup is better than mustard.

GUI is better than Command Line Interface.

Dubs are better than subs

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I'm not sure if that's real or fake, but I do think it would be funny to hire a whitehouse intern to constantly troll ISIS on twitter.

 

Or hire a couple of them, cyber bully ISIS constantly.

Sadly it is fake. 

 

Trump isn't firing them any day soon. 

Our Grace. The Feathered One. He shows us the way. His bob is majestic and shows us the path. Follow unto his guidance and His example. He knows the one true path. Our Saviour. Our Grace. Our Father Birb has taught us with His humble heart and gentle wing the way of the bob. Let us show Him our reverence and follow in His example. The True Path of the Feathered One. ~ Dimboble-dubabob III

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Sadly it is fake. 

 

Trump isn't firing them any day soon. 

Damn.

 

Perhaps we should start a "trolling ISIS" facebook page. Harness the collective power of all the internet trolls available and just constantly annoy the living shit out of ISIS.

Ketchup is better than mustard.

GUI is better than Command Line Interface.

Dubs are better than subs

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here is some terrible fake news "themaniac has just reached 100,000,000 subscribers on youtube" pls no hate its fake and stupid so pls no hate

Spoiler

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Damn.

 

Perhaps we should start a "trolling ISIS" facebook page. Harness the collective power of all the internet trolls available and just constantly annoy the living shit out of ISIS.

I wouldn't risk it: http://www.digitaltrends.com/social-media/retweet-terrorists-potentially-go-to-jail/

It's all fun and games untill somebody says something the FBI doesn't like.

 

I will have to go with a classic: http://www.theonion.com/article/god-answers-prayers-of-paralyzed-little-boy-475

God Answers Prayers Of Paralyzed Little Boy

 

Said Angela Schlosser, a day nurse who witnessed the Divine Manifestation: "An incredible, booming voice said to Timmy, 'I am the Lord thy God, who created the rivers and the mountains, the heavens and the earth, the sun and the moon and the stars. Before Me sits My beloved child, whose faith is that of the mustard seed from which grows mighty and powerful things. My child, Timmy Yu, I say unto you thus: I have heard your prayers, and now I shall answer them. No, you cannot get out of your wheelchair. Not ever."

It's older than some members here, but it's still one of the best stories The Onion has ever done

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I wouldn't risk it: http://www.digitaltrends.com/social-media/retweet-terrorists-potentially-go-to-jail/

It's all fun and games untill somebody says something the FBI doesn't like.

 

I will have to go with a classic: http://www.theonion.com/article/god-answers-prayers-of-paralyzed-little-boy-475

It's older than some members here, but it's still one of the best stories The Onion has ever done

And that's too bad. Government gotta ruin everything.

 

 

Damn, the onion is messed up sometimes.

Ketchup is better than mustard.

GUI is better than Command Line Interface.

Dubs are better than subs

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