Jump to content

Parents are going through divorce! HALP?

Shroomster
 Share

So my parents are going through divorce, and I would like some suggestions or advice on the matter. Should I be totally cool about it or what. Any help will be looked at and read. And please, I could use some information about the challenges this thing will bring except for the obvious ones like two houses and the shizzles like that. But srsly I need some help. I have only been told about this yesterday and I really dont know how to react.

PS. Just read through the post and noticed a clear Elric reference in it. Bonus points to whoever finds it first.

REMEMBER TO QUOTE SO I GET A NOTIFCATION! Add me on Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/Shroomster/ Review(s) more to come

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well one my of my old classmates of 6 years has his parents divorced and he told me really it's not an issue unless there is some serious tension or if the parents start a "love race" where one of them tries to prove that he/she is better than the other.

RIG: I7-4790k @ 4.5GHz | MSI Z97S SLI Plus | 12GB Geil Dragon RAM 1333MHz | Gigabyte G1 Gaming GTX 970 (1550MHz core/7800MHz memory) @ +18mV(Maxed out at 1650/7800 so far) | Corsair RM750 | Samsung 840 EVO 120GB, 1TB Seagate Barracuda | Fractal Design Arc Midi R2 (Closed) | Sound Blaster Z                                                                                                                        Getting: Noctua NH-D15 | Possible 250GB Samsung 850 Evo                                                                                        Need a console killer that actually shits on every console? Here you go (No MIR/Promo)

This is why you should not get an FX CPU for ANY scenario other than rendering on a budget http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/286142-fx-8350-r9-290-psu-requirements/?p=3892901 http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/266481-an-issue-with-people-bashing-the-fx-cpus/?p=3620861

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

My parents have been divorced for quite along time. They seems happier because no arguing so im happy though they obviously have less money now so that can be a problem especially where i live. I didnt really have any emotional problems but it is normal too. PM me if you want to ask something that you dont want to blert out into the internet :P (not that i can think off any but who knows)

|| MAELSTROM ||

|| i5 3570K W/ CM 212x @ 4GHz || r9 290 Windforce || Corsair Obsidian 450D || 2tb HDD + 120gb 840 evo SSD || 2x4gb Hyperx Fury Blue

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

I can not seem to be able to wrap my head around all this. I have to specifically ask about the living a week with mom and the next with dad. Is that a good idea?

REMEMBER TO QUOTE SO I GET A NOTIFCATION! Add me on Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/Shroomster/ Review(s) more to come

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd just try and support each parent as much as you can. 

Then again, I wouldn't know, my birth parents divorced before I was born and I have never seen my father. 

What do they know of England, who only England know?

"Well that's what I always said I wanted to be remembered for, for being honest. Nothing else is worth a damn"
 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

So my parents are going through divorce, and I would like some suggestions or advice on the matter. Should I be totally cool about it or what. Any help will be looked at and read. And please, I could use some information about the challenges this thing will bring except for the obvious ones like two houses and the shizzles like that. But srsly I need some help. I have only been told about this yesterday and I really dont know how to react.

PS. Just read through the post and noticed a clear Elric reference in it. Bonus points to whoever finds it first.

Right now you're in shock. Don't act just yet. Just sit back and let it sink in. Only then you'll know how to react to all this.

No matter what happens, don't blame yourself. Life is complicated and relations are complicated. Sometimes people have differences that cannot be reconciled. That's just how humans are.

This is a difficult time for you and also your parents. I wish you the best of luck and I hope things work out.

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity"

- George Carlin (1937-2008)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

I can not seem to be able to wrap my head around all this. I have to specifically ask about the living a week with mom and the next with dad. Is that a good idea?

I live one week each way. Though if on house is a long way from school i would go there on weekends and the other during school :)

|| MAELSTROM ||

|| i5 3570K W/ CM 212x @ 4GHz || r9 290 Windforce || Corsair Obsidian 450D || 2tb HDD + 120gb 840 evo SSD || 2x4gb Hyperx Fury Blue

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

Goodluck.....

Current system - ThinkPad Yoga 460

ExSystems

Spoiler

Laptop - ASUS FX503VD

|| Case: NZXT H440 ❤️|| MB: Gigabyte GA-Z170XP-SLI || CPU: Skylake Chip || Graphics card : GTX 970 Strix || RAM: Crucial Ballistix 16GB || Storage:1TB WD+500GB WD + 120Gb HyperX savage|| Monitor: Dell U2412M+LG 24MP55HQ+Philips TV ||  PSU CX600M || 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

Goodluck.....

The only problems really are money obliviously you may live in a slightly worse house half the time but it changes nothing. Other than the first few months when you may need to comfort your parents (depending on what caused the split) 

|| MAELSTROM ||

|| i5 3570K W/ CM 212x @ 4GHz || r9 290 Windforce || Corsair Obsidian 450D || 2tb HDD + 120gb 840 evo SSD || 2x4gb Hyperx Fury Blue

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

My parents are too divorced, last words my father ever said to me was "Have a good life." I asked him to fuck off though

Computer Specifications:

AMD Ryzen 5 3600  Gigabyte B550M Aorus Elite | ADATA XPG SPECTRIX D50 32 GB 3600 MHz | Asus RTX 3060 KO Edition CoolerMaster Silencio S400 Klevv Cras C700 M.2 SSD 256GB 

1TB Crucial MX500 | 1 TB SanDisk SSD Corsair RM650W

Camera Equipment:

Camera Bodies: 

Olympus Pen-F Panasonic GH3 (Retired)

Lenses:

Sigma 30mm F1.4 | Sigma 16mm F1.4 | Sigma 19mm F2.8 | Laowa 17mm F1.8 | Olympus 45mm F1.8

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

I live one week each way. Though if on house is a long way from school i would go there on weekends and the other during school :)

They are going to live at least in the start in the same village, so no problems I think with going to school. The only thing I can find funny at the moment is the picture of my dad washing laundry and doing the dishes.

REMEMBER TO QUOTE SO I GET A NOTIFCATION! Add me on Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/Shroomster/ Review(s) more to come

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

I Grew up with divorced parents.

it's meh.

My PC

[ I5 4690k (no oc) - Gigabyte Z97 D3H - 8GB Ram - Sapphire R9 280X Vapor-X ]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

They are going to live at least in the start in the same village, so no problems I think with going to school. The only thing I can find funny at the moment is the picture of my dad washing laundry and doing the dishes.

My dad was pretty bad at the start though he has gotten quite good. ps you may have to do more housework now :P

|| MAELSTROM ||

|| i5 3570K W/ CM 212x @ 4GHz || r9 290 Windforce || Corsair Obsidian 450D || 2tb HDD + 120gb 840 evo SSD || 2x4gb Hyperx Fury Blue

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

I can not seem to be able to wrap my head around all this. I have to specifically ask about the living a week with mom and the next with dad. Is that a good idea?

You need to set it up officially so that there are no fights or intentionally not allowing you to visit the other without long-term struggles. There are 2 ways to do it. Either 1 week at your moms and 1 week at your dads as you already suggested or (as my old classmate does it) 4 days mom, 3 days dad, 3 days mom, 4 days dad.

RIG: I7-4790k @ 4.5GHz | MSI Z97S SLI Plus | 12GB Geil Dragon RAM 1333MHz | Gigabyte G1 Gaming GTX 970 (1550MHz core/7800MHz memory) @ +18mV(Maxed out at 1650/7800 so far) | Corsair RM750 | Samsung 840 EVO 120GB, 1TB Seagate Barracuda | Fractal Design Arc Midi R2 (Closed) | Sound Blaster Z                                                                                                                        Getting: Noctua NH-D15 | Possible 250GB Samsung 850 Evo                                                                                        Need a console killer that actually shits on every console? Here you go (No MIR/Promo)

This is why you should not get an FX CPU for ANY scenario other than rendering on a budget http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/286142-fx-8350-r9-290-psu-requirements/?p=3892901 http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/266481-an-issue-with-people-bashing-the-fx-cpus/?p=3620861

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

I Grew up with divorced parents.

it's meh.

Im quiet confused by reaction because where i live it seems like 1/3 of parents are divorced. So its quite normal around here 

|| MAELSTROM ||

|| i5 3570K W/ CM 212x @ 4GHz || r9 290 Windforce || Corsair Obsidian 450D || 2tb HDD + 120gb 840 evo SSD || 2x4gb Hyperx Fury Blue

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

Im quiet confused by reaction because where i live it seems like 1/3 of parents are divorced. So its quite normal around here

It seems like quite normal here too. Though all my friends who have divorced parent had their parents divorce a lot earlier.

REMEMBER TO QUOTE SO I GET A NOTIFCATION! Add me on Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/Shroomster/ Review(s) more to come

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

Does parents divorcing have any positive things hidden in the context?

@Phllips

@Archangel1994

Quite often less parental stress/arguments that put mental stress on you. Can also improve relationship between the divorced parents as paradoxical as it may seem (Basically becoming friends). My mum's parents are also divorced but they are as friendly to each other as any other pair of friends really. They just couldn't stand being married to each other (mind you happened before I was born). Sometimes with the divorce their outlook/attitude changes to a more positive one which can result in less aggravation in general (Some even report better cooking O_o). There are a bunch of things that can improve due to the stress being taken away really.

RIG: I7-4790k @ 4.5GHz | MSI Z97S SLI Plus | 12GB Geil Dragon RAM 1333MHz | Gigabyte G1 Gaming GTX 970 (1550MHz core/7800MHz memory) @ +18mV(Maxed out at 1650/7800 so far) | Corsair RM750 | Samsung 840 EVO 120GB, 1TB Seagate Barracuda | Fractal Design Arc Midi R2 (Closed) | Sound Blaster Z                                                                                                                        Getting: Noctua NH-D15 | Possible 250GB Samsung 850 Evo                                                                                        Need a console killer that actually shits on every console? Here you go (No MIR/Promo)

This is why you should not get an FX CPU for ANY scenario other than rendering on a budget http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/286142-fx-8350-r9-290-psu-requirements/?p=3892901 http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/266481-an-issue-with-people-bashing-the-fx-cpus/?p=3620861

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

Does parents divorcing have any positive things hidden in the context?

@Phllips

@Archangel1994

Well i get better birthday presents because each parent is trying to win me over and i get more alone time which i like. 

|| MAELSTROM ||

|| i5 3570K W/ CM 212x @ 4GHz || r9 290 Windforce || Corsair Obsidian 450D || 2tb HDD + 120gb 840 evo SSD || 2x4gb Hyperx Fury Blue

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

My dad left my mum when i was 14 & I haven't seen him since, He was abusive towards me & my mum. so it was good that he left. As long as your parents do things in your best interest & its not a messy divorce then you should be okay. Keep your head up & things will get better. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

Quite often less parental stress/arguments that put mental stress on you. Can also improve relationship between the divorced parents as paradoxical as it may seem (Basically becoming friends). My mum's parents are also divorced but they are as friendly to each other as any other pair of friends really. They just couldn't stand being married to each other (mind you happened before I was born). Sometimes with the divorce their outlook/attitude changes to a more positive one which can result in less aggravation in general (Some even report better cooking O_o). There are a bunch of things that can improve due to the stress being taken away really.

Pretty much exactly accurate for me. the cooking and being your friends and nicer all right

|| MAELSTROM ||

|| i5 3570K W/ CM 212x @ 4GHz || r9 290 Windforce || Corsair Obsidian 450D || 2tb HDD + 120gb 840 evo SSD || 2x4gb Hyperx Fury Blue

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

So my parents are going through divorce, and I would like some suggestions or advice on the matter. Should I be totally cool about it or what. Any help will be looked at and read. And please, I could use some information about the challenges this thing will bring except for the obvious ones like two houses and the shizzles like that. But srsly I need some help. I have only been told about this yesterday and I really dont know how to react.

PS. Just read through the post and noticed a clear Elric reference in it. Bonus points to whoever finds it first.

My parents divorced some years ago, it wasn't pretty. But that doesn't mean all divorces are like that.

In the end it's usually for the best. Try to support both your parents as much as you can.

 

Not sure about your situation, but most of the times you'll have to choose with which parent you'll want to live.

Other than that there isn't much to it. After the divorce I stayed with my father and he was at work a lot, so I had the house to myself.

Now he has a new partner who has two kids of her own and the house is more lively again, but I enjoyed the house to myself for as long as it lasted. :)

 

My dad didn't have a lot of money after divorce so I helped however I could, buying by own food, paying insurance and some bills etc.

Since you're not as old yet I'm not sure how you can help with that, and maybe you don't have to. But that's something I did that helped a lot.

 

Oh, and my dad was never the type to show his emotions, but during the divorce he'd cry. It's only natural, but just to make you aware that you might see emotions from your parents you'ven't seen before.

 

EDIT: Not sure how you are with school, but letting your teachers know about this will help. I got more time for certain assignments because sometimes I was just too busy with other stuff (moving stuff out, distracted by them fighting, you get it)

Edited by JvHummel
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

My parents divorced some years ago, it wasn't pretty. But that doesn't mean all divorces are like that.

In the end it's usually for the best. Try to support both your parents as much as you can.

Not sure about your situation, but most of the times you'll have to choose with which parent you'll want to live.

Other than that there isn't much to it. After the divorce I stayed with my father and he was at work a lot, so I had the house to myself.

Now he has a new partner who has two kids of her own and the house is more lively again, but I enjoyed the house to myself for as long as it lasted. :)

My dad didn't have a lot of money after divorce so I helped however I could, buying by own food, paying insurance and some bills etc.

Since you're not as old yet I'm not sure how you can help with that, and maybe you don't have to. But that's something I did that helped a lot.

Oh, and my dad was never the type to show his emotions, but during the divorce he'd cry. It's only natural, but just to make you aware that you might see emotions from your parents you'ven't seen before.

Yeah, thanks. I will try to support both. So I am not a feelings guy either. Should I just let them out and roam free for a while. I feel like crying, but I am not doing it.

REMEMBER TO QUOTE SO I GET A NOTIFCATION! Add me on Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/Shroomster/ Review(s) more to come

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to post
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share


×