My dad keeps getting scammed.

[VitoLaRischia]

Hi there!

I have a SERIOUS issue, my dad keeps getting scammed.

And I'm not talking about some minor little scams, I'm talking about him losing A LOT of money very easily.

 

Is there an app for his (android) phone to help prevent and control the calls he gets WITHOUT him knowing?

He thinks it's incredibly humiliating and doesn't even talk about the scams with us until it's DEFINITELY too late...

Some app to maybe monitor every call from another phone and block numbers remotely when we understand that he's getting scammed.

 

Maybe some parental app? We just need to remotely block some calls from getting through without him ever noticing, so we would need to definitely see the "calls list" remotely and maybe even "tap" his calls to know when he's talking to a friend or patient (He's a doctor) and when we need to do something.

 

Please don't tell me to just "talk to him" believe me, it doesn't work.

 

Please we could really use your help, thanks in advance!

[Stahlmann]

If this is true, you need to teach him how to spot scams. You cannot always watch over him. For example, if someone asks for a large amount of money in your name, why doesn't he just ask you in person to make sure it's real?

 

My parents often get scam calls and emails. I've told them to hang up on people who ask for money on their phone, and if they think the emails are suspicious, to send them to me so I can look into them.

 

I don't feel comfortable giving deeper advice on this, because this post seems more like an excuse to spy on someone else in your life. Especially because of the whole "without him noticing" thing.

[Ottoman420]

Sounds like you should try get power of attorney over his bank account to protect him, but its not easy to get that.

 

 

[John Reactor]

I would try setting his mobile phone to accept calls only from numbers on his contact list
This functionality is build in every phone. Or at least most of them.

[podkall]

1 minute ago, Stahlmann said:

I don't feel comfortable giving deeper advice on this, because this post seems more like an excuse to spy on someone else in your life. Especially because of the whole "without him noticing" thing.

yah,

 

 

24 minutes ago, VitoLaRischia said:

And I'm not talking about some minor little scams, I'm talking about him losing A LOT of money very easily.

could you give some examples, if you can?

 

Just now, John Reactor said:

I would try setting his mobile phone to accept calls only from numbers on his contact list
This functionality is build in every phone. Or at least most of them.

or if he's adult enough he can be convinced to only accept calls from numbers/names he knows, I usually just hang up numbers that I don't recognize or that aren't assigned in my contacts

[RokinAmerica]

I think you need to talk to his doctor. If he is falling for these, it sounds like he is no longer capable of using all of his faculties. POA as advised above could be answer, but be sure to speak to his physician.

[VitoLaRischia]

Thanks for the replies.

 

As for why can't I just talk to him about it/get someone to talk to him about it, easy answer: He won't ever listen!

 

An example of a big scam he recently fell for: Someone called him to propose an investment (long story short he gave these ppl 15k) and after some time I'm assuming the same people contacted him again saying "This is your cryopto wallet" (Showing a FAKE crypto wallet containing 100k+ in crypto) they then said "We need money to 'unlock' the money" and the kept asking for more and more saying stuff like "oh no there has been a problem, send us another 5k) and long story short he gave away all of his life savings.

 

He's too "proud" to listen to the people that loves him most...

We tried and tried and tried to tell him but he just kept replying to everyone behind our backs, he seriously thinks he's about to get rich with these people...

 

I honestly have no idea what to do... I love him so much and it's awful to see him like this, like someone with a gambling addiction never accepting a loss and always doubling down...

 

Using an app to control his phone calls is the last thing I wanteds to do, but now it feels like the only option.

 

Thanks again everybody, any type of suggestion will be greatly appreciated.

[VitoLaRischia]

P. S. : Q:"Why can't you set his phone to only accept calls from known numbers?"

           A: Because he's a doctor and often needs to talk with people he doesn't have their number saved (Patients, other doctores, ecc...)

[HanZie82]

Im sorry, but preventing scamming starts with education.
Or lock his phone so much he cant even use it properly.

But you blocking any hidden number is im guessing not an option? edit: Already answered.

 

13 minutes ago, VitoLaRischia said:

As for why can't I just talk to him about it/get someone to talk to him about it, easy answer: He won't ever listen!

To me i hear him just saying i want to be scammed. HE HAS NO CHOICE.
We cannot change the scammers, HE needs to change his behaviour about it.
Maybe let him watch those scambaiter video's on youtube, like i said education is key!

 

13 minutes ago, VitoLaRischia said:

He's too "proud" to listen to the people that loves him most...

We tried and tried and tried to tell him but he just kept replying to everyone behind our backs, he seriously thinks he's about to get rich with these people...

If this is how his brain works, i don't want to know who he is, because i will put effort into getting him not be a doctor anymore.
Being a doctor means constant learning and clearly he has given up on that. He's a danger to himself and others.
And this is fact he has already proven this, talk to him and if he doesnt listen MAKE HIM LISTEN.

This is really worrisome, people like this should not be in control of others people health.
I'm sorry but this worry's me a lot.
How many people are in danger because he's too stubborn to educate himself about new medical practises?

Educate educate educate! And never stop.
I dont mean to offend, this story is just very scary.
Best of luck!

[podkall]

3 minutes ago, VitoLaRischia said:

As for why can't I just talk to him about it/get someone to talk to him about it, easy answer: He won't ever listen!

shouldn't he though, since as you've said, he's your dad?

 

4 minutes ago, VitoLaRischia said:

An example of a big scam he recently fell for: Someone called him to propose an investment (long story short he gave these ppl 15k) and after some time I'm assuming the same people contacted him again saying "This is your cryopto wallet" (Showing a FAKE crypto wallet containing 100k+ in crypto) they then said "We need money to 'unlock' the money" and the kept asking for more and more saying stuff like "oh no there has been a problem, send us another 5k) and long story short he gave away all of his life savings.

yeah, I mean I could probably explain to him where he went wrong, I know this sounds arrogant

 

14 minutes ago, VitoLaRischia said:

He's too "proud" to listen to the people that loves him most...

We tried and tried and tried to tell him but he just kept replying to everyone behind our backs, he seriously thinks he's about to get rich with these people...

what's he proud of?

 

14 minutes ago, VitoLaRischia said:

I honestly have no idea what to do... I love him so much and it's awful to see him like this, like someone with a gambling addiction never accepting a loss and always doubling down...

is he now, that would be interesting to know yeah

 

14 minutes ago, VitoLaRischia said:

Using an app to control his phone calls is the last thing I wanteds to do, but now it feels like the only option.

 

Thanks again everybody, any type of suggestion will be greatly appreciated.

I can get back to you with reasoning how to reason with him.

[VitoLaRischia]

35 minutes ago, podkall said:

shouldn't he though, since as you've said, he's your dad?

He won't listen neither to me or to my mother, as to "what is he proud of" I believe I explained myself incorrectly (Sorry, English is not my native language) what I mean is his "Ego" would shatter if he finally acknowledged/admitted he's getting scammed.

 

He's far from dumb, he just has a very kind heart and believes everything these scammers tells him.

 

If he won't listen to us there's nothing we can realistically achieve, he will get scammed again and again and again.

 

Thanks again for the replies.

[podkall]

6 minutes ago, VitoLaRischia said:

He won't listen neither to me or to my mother, as to "what is he proud of" I believe I explained myself incorrectly (Sorry, English is not my native language) what I mean is his "Ego" would shatter if he finally acknowledged/admitted he's getting scammed.

 

He's far from dumb, he just has a very kind heart and believes everything these scammers tells him.

 

If he won't listen to us there's nothing we can realistically achieve, he will get scammed again and again and again.

 

Thanks again for the replies.

so like, it's very simple,

 

have you tried telling him,

 

that, if someone calls you with a long story/"plan" that's apparently supposed to make you money, that requires to give credit card/bank info, then it's clearly a scam,

 

if anyone ever is trying to get your money for "investment" where they'd pay you back, it's a scam,

 

if someone goes bragging and telling a however long story about how they get your money, somehow invest this, do that, do this, you don't have to do anything, and then we make money and give you back more, it's a scam,

 

if it involves 0 work or input on you, except that you give the person money, it's a scam,

 

if it's a limited opportunity, or a trick that nobody knows about that makes money, but they need to invest the money somehow and want yours, it's a scam,

 

if you tell him something like that, and then conclude it with:

 

"all of these stories and scams have one thing in common, they ask you for some amount of money which they then magically increase and give you back, what's stopping them from simply using their own money, what's stopping them from borrowing money from the bank, if their money-making scheme is that great?"

 

If their money making method that makes invested money into more money so good, they can use bank's money instead, and easily out-pay the interest and get profit, why do they need your money?

 

If their excuse is the interest from the bank, then their method is clearly not working, because if they got a method that makes money out of money, they could have just found a job, worked there for a while, get cash, save the cash, then use that for the infinite money magic,

 

but that's not the case, they need your money, because they are scammers, and they will not return.

[John Reactor]

13 minutes ago, VitoLaRischia said:

He won't listen neither to me or to my mother,

Maybe try peer pressure? Ask his friends to talk to him? If you cant get to him maybe them can?

[podkall]

1 minute ago, John Reactor said:

Maybe try peer pressure? Ask his friends to talk to him? If you cant get to him maybe them can?

honestly a very good and thorough reasoning might do it, but it'll probably be exhausting to explain something through multiple examples

[VitoLaRischia]

Thanks for the replies.

 

I'll try the methods you kindly suggested me, I have my doubts they'll work tho...

 

Maybe I could speak to his brother about it? But I really don't wanna embarrass him

[jaslion]

2 hours ago, VitoLaRischia said:

Thanks for the replies.

 

I'll try the methods you kindly suggested me, I have my doubts they'll work tho...

 

Maybe I could speak to his brother about it? But I really don't wanna embarrass him

Thats honestly the only way this works with people that have a big ego.

 

It is hard for people that have a very strong self identity to admit they have a flaw. In this case it is being guillable.

 

The only way here usually is either take away the resources aka put the money in an account that can only have money withdrawn from it when both parties consent (mom and dad).

 

Or have a serious humbling. Try family then friends and so on. Try to get them to explain to him how not to fall for these.

 

There is also the option of you scamming him. As in do a "scam" and educate him with it.

 

I was in a similar case with my dad unfortunatly but was lucky enough that he kinda sucks at tech and this was before he had a smartphone. Luckaly I managed to pick up on hints when viewing his mailbox but he refused to believe it so I managed to block the people with an external outlook express blokker.

 

Then did a small "scam" and had a fake police notice that the scammers got stopped before damage. He was really taken aback by it as he was super close to commiting money and ended up taking a course by himself.