People say it's wrong for me to think this

[IDprofile]

When I am married I don't want my wife to make as much or more money than me.

I want to provide for my wife and kids. If my wife makes as much or more money than me then I'm not providing for her and I have failed as a man.

So that's my personal opinion. I don't have anything against other women making more money than their spouses.

People have told me that it is really wrong that I think this. What's your opinion? Am I a bad person?  :rolleyes:

[othertomperson]

Not a bad person, just a product of the society that you live in.

[Guest Kloaked]

If I'm married and my wife is making more than me, that means bigger house and more expensive stuff, and I'm okay with that.

[Fred Castellum]

Lol opinions can't be right or wrong their god dam opinions.

I'll be pleasantly surprised if my future wife makes more income than me.

I think people just dislike your stance on family roles.

[nokturrduk84]

Nothing's wrong with. It's you and your nature. Someone thinks in family both man & woman should work equally. Someone thinks wife should be in kitchen & house while man should work & bring money. None of them are wrong. it's just about you & your wife, how do you like to live, both of you. Try to find someone who will be woman like in second option (housewife).

[IDprofile]

It just bothers me when people call me sexist for this.

 

Edit: It's that I don't want my wife to have to work. I feel that it's my job to make sure she doesn't need to.

[Camul]

You do realise your wife will not grow a bigger penis than you if she has a greater income? I'm insecure about some ridiculous things, but you take the cake OP.

[TheRetiredSlave]

The only reason it would be bad is if you were intentionally holding back your wife from advancing her career, just for the sake of you making more money than her.. It is definitely a good thing that you want to provide for your family, but you can't have it get to a point at which your sense of pride causes any issues.

 

In the end, both the money you make and the money she makes is just "your families' money", not exclusively yours and not exclusively hers. If your wife winds up making more money than you in the future, what does it matter? As long as your family can pay your families' bills and put food on the table, it means that they are provided for and it shouldn't really matter which spouse sees a larger number on their paycheck.

[IDprofile]

You do realise your wife will not grow a bigger penis than you if she has a greater income? I'm insecure about some ridiculous things, but you take the cake OP.

That's not at all what it is. It's that I've grown up(in America) where I've been taught to put women up above me. So it's that I want it to be so she doesn't have to work.

 

The only reason it would be bad is if you were intentionally holding back your wife from advancing her career, just for the sake of you making more money than her.. It is definitely a good thing that you want to provide for your family, but you can't have it get to a point at which your sense of pride causes any issues.

 

In the end, both the money you make and the money she makes is just "your families' money", not exclusively yours and not exclusively hers. If your wife winds up making more money than you in the future, what does it matter? As long as your family can pay your families' bills and put food on the table, it means that they are provided for and it shouldn't really matter which spouse sees a larger number on their paycheck.

I fully agree with that. But at the same time I feel that if I don't make enough money for my wife to not work then I haven't done very well.

[dizmo]

You've only failed as a man if you mistreat or abuse your wife.

There are tons of different ways to support someone, it's not always about money.

If she could make more than you, would you expect her to give up that because you can't make as much?

Not taking a shot at you I'm actually curious.

[Fred Castellum]

That's not at all what it is. It's that I've grown up(in America) where I've been taught to put women up above me. So it's that I want it to be so she doesn't have to work.

 

I fully agree with that. But at the same time I feel that if I don't make enough money for my wife to not work then I haven't done very well.

This is something you should talk to your future wife about. It'll help alleviate expectations make it clear about how you think.

[Fred Castellum]

You've only failed as a man if you mistreat or abuse your wife.

There are tons of different ways to support someone, it's not always about money.

If she could make more than you, would you expect her to give up that because you can't make as much?

Not taking a shot at you I'm actually curious.

I feel like op wouldn't tell her to give up her job. I think he'd just be ashamed of himself.

[NInety]

Eh, I would like to be the 'bread winner' too, in this economy though, it's not really a choice. Although I'm going to save up an ass ton of moneh before I get married and I'm not going to waste money on a wedding so I'll at least have a head start.

[IDprofile]

 

You've only failed as a man if you mistreat or abuse your wife.

There are tons of different ways to support someone, it's not always about money.

If she could make more than you, would you expect her to give up that because you can't make as much?

Not taking a shot at you I'm actually curious.

No I wouldn't expect for her to give up her career. But ideally I would not like to not be in that position. And tbh women that are really focused on their career aren't as attractive to me.

 

I feel like op wouldn't tell her to give up her job. I think he'd just be ashamed of himself.

yeah

[Fred Castellum]

No I wouldn't expect for her to give up her career. But ideally I would not like to not be in that position. And tbh women that are really focused on their career aren't as attractive to me.

 

yeah

Hmm.. really? Women who really focus on their careers give me the impression that their hard working.

[DirkaFat]

Hmm.. really? Women who really focus on their careers give me the impression that their hard working.

Jesus, that's the second time on this thread you misused "they're" and "their"

[Fred Castellum]

Jesus, that's the second time on this thread you misused "they're" and "their"

Wait wait I have a excuse for that. I'm not the best with grammar and I'm typing on a tablet.

[dounuts97]

When I am married I don't want my wife to make as much or more money than me.

I want to provide for my wife and kids. If my wife makes as much or more money than me then I'm not providing for her and I have failed as a man.

So that's my personal opinion. I don't have anything against other women making more money than their spouses.

People have told me that it is really wrong that I think this. What's your opinion? Am I a bad person?  :rolleyes:

Nope you aren't wrong

[Murdoch]

It'd be awesome if your wife makes more money than you. She could take care of all the boring stuff like mortgages and bills.

 

You could blow all your cash on cool stuff like tech and cars.

[dizmo]

 

 

No I wouldn't expect for her to give up her career. But ideally I would not like to not be in that position. And tbh women that are really focused on their career aren't as attractive to me.

 

yeah

 

Kinda get it. Everyone likes different types I suppose.

 

Hmm.. really? Women who really focus on their careers give me the impression that their hard working.

I'm the same way. If the woman can't be independant honestly they're a lot less attractive to me.

I want her to want to be with me, not to feel she has to be with me to get by and get the things she wants.

 

I feel like op wouldn't tell her to give up her job. I think he'd just be ashamed of himself.

Haha, ahhh yes. I get that. I work in retail right now and I'm often slightly ashamed, even though I probably make more than most of the people I help.

You just get the condescending feeling from them.

[IDprofile]

It'd be awesome if your wife makes more money than you. She could take care of all the boring stuff like mortgages and bills.

 

You could blow all your cash on cool stuff like tech and cars.

Well sure, but I would much rather that my wife gets to relax while I work so she can relax.

[Fred Castellum]

Kinda get it. Everyone likes different types I suppose.

 

I'm the same way. If the woman can't be independant honestly they're a lot less attractive to me.

I want her to want to be with me, not to feel she has to be with me to get by and get the things she wants.

 

Haha, ahhh yes. I get that. I work in retail right now and I'm often slightly ashamed, even though I probably make more than most of the people I help.

You just get the condescending feeling from them.

NEVER NEVER feel ashamed from working retail, its a job thats necessary for companies to operate, you obtain valuable social work experience from working retail. I've done it and I initially felt below people when working but that was just absolute bullshit and a mentality you and other create. I learned lots and had fun doing it even on the worst days because I changed my mindset, heck there's a raise waiting for me if I ever want to go back to doing retail... but I'm too happy with my job right now.

You'll never know where someone who's worked in retail will end up later in life.

[Camul]

That's not at all what it is. It's that I've grown up(in America) where I've been taught to put women up above me. So it's that I want it to be so she doesn't have to work.

I was joking.

[Misanthrope]

You have issues and put too much of your self esteem on silly stupid things like who makes more money. You should seek advice of the professional kind and don't make your significant other the target of your unjustified frustrations.

[Hidden Orange]

That's all right and it's still a fairish way of thinking. At least you're not like, "my wife has to be stupid and pretty, lives only in my house, and only takes care of my kids and house. I call the shots, I make the money, and I get to do whatever the hell I want".

 

Personally, I don't really care. If I was married to someone making six figures, then more power to her. All I ask for is a loving and understanding relationship. Heck, if she can make a ton of cash without being stressed out and frustrated, then I could pursue a career in concept art for video games or something. That said, I would take a part-time job or something to support her and not do stupid stuff like use her money to buy a Porsche or invest in unstable stocks. In the opposite situation, if she was in a low-paying career, but was happy with her way of life, like being an artist, musician, etc., then all right, we'll just have to compromise more with our funding and I'll support her all the way through. Hey, at least one of us is living their dream.