Tattoo Advice

[Jtalk4456]

So my wife is currently in inpatient right now getting past some trauma and she has decided to get a fairly large tattoo across her back/shoulder of a phoenix to symbolize her rebirth through the inpatient and getting past the trauma. I support her fully and we'll save some money and get it done but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous a bit. IDK why but I am. She's apparently always wanted a tattoo but she's a preacher's daughter and had a repressed childhood to say the least. This is the first time knowing she wanted this. And I have never even considered wanting a tattoo. I don't like anything besides clothes and wedding band on. No watches, hats, bracelets, heck I don't even like having my work lanyard on my neck... So this is all a bit new for me. I know having a tattoo doesn't make her a smoking drinking motorcycle gang member or anything, but it still is a different part of her personality I'm not quite used to yet. And it's something I have literally no experience in. I also have 5 kids. So a few things:

1. Advice on anything I should be prepared about, be careful of this, avoid this area of the back, this part hurts worse, etc. Any just general info I should know

2. Advice on not associating this new facet of my wife with her being somehow different. I'm open minded and not judging of many things, but for some reason this is giving me some tiny level of anxiety and I'm not used to that. I certainly don't want her to feel like she shouldn't get it done cuz it makes me uncomfortable or anything. IDK what's giving me the anxiety as I've known other people with tats and it's never given me a second thought

3. If there's anything I should know when talking to kids about it. My head says why would there be, it's just a tattoo, nothing bad, but something in me is getting anxious about answering any questions they have so if there's a good way to talk about tattoos with kids, I'd much appreciate it.

4. If I'm spending the kind of money this will take, I'm making it worthwhile, and I want to pay an artist to take my super SUPER ROUGH "sketch" and make a full color design. Anyone up for it or know a great artist up for the task? Looking to spend less than 50 if possible, but I'm open to more if I see a great portfolio. 

[Jtalk4456]

19 minutes ago, Schnoz said:

1. I've never gotten a tattoo, but there should be "tattoo pain charts" that you can Google up that reveal where less painful spots are. 

2. I totally understand if you don't really associate/resonate with this. However, it doesn't really seem that this decision would significantly impact you in any way. Personally, I wouldn't think about this too much.

1. good idea on the chart, found one and it looks like this one should be easy

2. It shouldn't impact me, which is why i'm so confused at my own anxiety. it's not big, but it's there and idk why...

[realedk]

49 minutes ago, Jtalk4456 said:

So my wife is currently in inpatient right now getting past some trauma and she has decided to get a fairly large tattoo across her back/shoulder of a phoenix to symbolize her rebirth through the inpatient and getting past the trauma. I support her fully and we'll save some money and get it done but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous a bit. IDK why but I am. She's apparently always wanted a tattoo but she's a preacher's daughter and had a repressed childhood to say the least. This is the first time knowing she wanted this. And I have never even considered wanting a tattoo. I don't like anything besides clothes and wedding band on. No watches, hats, bracelets, heck I don't even like having my work lanyard on my neck... So this is all a bit new for me. I know having a tattoo doesn't make her a smoking drinking motorcycle gang member or anything, but it still is a different part of her personality I'm not quite used to yet. And it's something I have literally no experience in. I also have 5 kids. So a few things:

1. Advice on anything I should be prepared about, be careful of this, avoid this area of the back, this part hurts worse, etc. Any just general info I should know

2. Advice on not associating this new facet of my wife with her being somehow different. I'm open minded and not judging of many things, but for some reason this is giving me some tiny level of anxiety and I'm not used to that. I certainly don't want her to feel like she shouldn't get it done cuz it makes me uncomfortable or anything. IDK what's giving me the anxiety as I've known other people with tats and it's never given me a second thought

3. If there's anything I should know when talking to kids about it. My head says why would there be, it's just a tattoo, nothing bad, but something in me is getting anxious about answering any questions they have so if there's a good way to talk about tattoos with kids, I'd much appreciate it.

4. If I'm spending the kind of money this will take, I'm making it worthwhile, and I want to pay an artist to take my super SUPER ROUGH "sketch" and make a full color design. Anyone up for it or know a great artist up for the task? Looking to spend less than 50 if possible, but I'm open to more if I see a great portfolio. 

I wouldn't. If she regrets it in the future, there is no FULL going back.

[MadGoatHaz]

I feel like you're way too invested in this. Getting ink is normally a very personal and meaningful thing. Let your wife take point on this and support her along the way. 

 

 

[Cyberspirit]

If she really wants it then support her for sure but it might be better to start with something smaller just so she'll know what to expect and how her body will react to the ink.

In some cases you can get allergic reactions to it or her body could just refuse to take in some of the ink, which can be fixed/worked around.

 

Also, there are a lot of crappy tattoo artists and scammers out there so make sure to ask around who works well in your area. A tattoo artist our family knows told me that if they tell you that it will take multiple visits to get it done, they most likely just want you to pay more.

 

As for the kids, I wouldn't worry about them, to be honest. They'll most likely just think that it's cool and might inspire them to get one later down the line, which isn't inherently bad thing imo.

 

Ps:

 

Just a general good rule with tattoos is to wait a year or so with the idea and if you still want it a year later then go for it. Just again, make sure it's done by a good artist.

[dizmo]

1. Pain is completely different from person to person so there isn't really a great way to find that out. It's up to her to know or find out on her own.
2. It's a tattoo. It's just ink, and it's art. It's not like she has started smoking meth. It doesn't change her at all, and it's unlikely you know every single thing about her. People are constantly changing. This is simply the way mankind is.
3. They'll probably think it's cool. Don't really see a reason to dissuade them from that point of view. Letting them know there's deep symbolism behind it is probably a good idea.
4. I think you're being completely unrealistic with your cost estimations. Also, there isn't much point in taking your sketch, getting an artist to adapt it, for it to only be adapted again by the tattoo artist. I hope you know what you're in for here; for a decent artist, you're probably looking at about $100 - $150 an hour. What you're describing, I'd imagine would take at least 6 hours.

 

[Zusafek]

This tattoo will most likely take 2 sessions.  One for full outline, one for coloring and shading.  

 

I have 3 tattoos and I don't regret them. They all have meaning in my life.  Most people don't even know I have them because they aren't on display.  

[Moonzy]

5 hours ago, Jtalk4456 said:

. Advice on anything I should be prepared about, be careful of this, avoid this area of the back, this part hurts worse, etc. Any just general info I should know

Freshly tattooed body part is quite tender for first few days Im guessing from how tattooing works (bunch of needle stabbing ink into the skin), so try to keep it hygienic and such, meaning less touching until it recovers

 

Correct me if my assumption is wrong

 

5 hours ago, Jtalk4456 said:

Advice on not associating this new facet of my wife with her being somehow different.

It's just a picture, doesn't define her personality and what not

Nothing changes except her having a JPEG on her back

 

The upside is that she can say "help me scratch my left talon" when she needs help scratching her back, lmao

 

5 hours ago, Jtalk4456 said:

If there's anything I should know when talking to kids about it. My head says why would there be, it's just a tattoo, nothing bad, but something in me is getting anxious about answering any questions they have so if there's a good way to talk about tattoos with kids, I'd much appreciate it.

You can educate them about it

 

You also have the chance to talk about permanence and what not, but try not to associate tattoo with negative stuffs because you don't want them to view their mother negatively just because of the tattoo

 

5 hours ago, Jtalk4456 said:

If I'm spending the kind of money this will take, I'm making it worthwhile, and I want to pay an artist to take my super SUPER ROUGH "sketch" and make a full color design. Anyone up for it or know a great artist up for the task? Looking to spend less than 50 if possible, but I'm open to more if I see a great portfolio. 

I can't even draw a circle properly

[Nibbets]

19 hours ago, Jtalk4456 said:

1. Advice on anything I should be prepared about, be careful of this, avoid this area of the back, this part hurts worse, etc. Any just general info I should know

Pain in general can vary from person to person and their tolerance for pain. Like someone else said, it will more than likely take at least 2 sessions: 1 for the outline and then one for the color. It might take a 3rd if it needs touching up.

 

19 hours ago, Jtalk4456 said:

4. If I'm spending the kind of money this will take, I'm making it worthwhile, and I want to pay an artist to take my super SUPER ROUGH "sketch" and make a full color design. Anyone up for it or know a great artist up for the task? Looking to spend less than 50 if possible, but I'm open to more if I see a great portfolio. 

The artist you go to will be able to take your sketch and make the design your wife will like.

 

As far as your anxiety it could be because you never knew she wanted one. Look at it this way, it's a back piece. Unless she's wearing a swimsuit, a strapless dress, something else revealing, or nothing at all, you're not going to see it.

 

Some general advice, find an artist that she's comfortable with and has a decent portfolio so you can see pictures of their finished work. Have her wait 6 months or longer before taking the plunge so that she's sure she wants a tattoo and that this isn't a passing fancy,

[Kadzo]

On 10/24/2021 at 3:45 AM, Jtalk4456 said:

1. Advice on anything I should be prepared about, be careful of this, avoid this area of the back, this part hurts worse, etc. Any just general info I should know

 

I have a large back piece and i did it fairly young, 13+ years ago, never regret it i plan to do more but the money is tight. As far as pain goes everybody has a different pain tolerance but i will tell my mine experience, as far as the shoulder blades goes its a nothing more of a hard scratching not so much of a pain, but over the spine that`s one of the most painful experiences i had in my life.

 

On 10/24/2021 at 3:45 AM, Jtalk4456 said:

2. Advice on not associating this new facet of my wife with her being somehow different. I'm open minded and not judging of many things, but for some reason this is giving me some tiny level of anxiety and I'm not used to that. I certainly don't want her to feel like she shouldn't get it done cuz it makes me uncomfortable or anything. IDK what's giving me the anxiety as I've known other people with tats and it's never given me a second thought

Like somebody mentioned you are overthinking this a bit to much, i did mine when i need moral support for myself and it helped me still does, so stop thinking how does this make you feel because its not effecting your life its effecting hers (be there as a partner and face the fact that after hard times in our life people change and we all have different bare with their burden differently)

 

On 10/24/2021 at 3:45 AM, Jtalk4456 said:

4. If I'm spending the kind of money this will take, I'm making it worthwhile, and I want to pay an artist to take my super SUPER ROUGH "sketch" and make a full color design. Anyone up for it or know a great artist up for the task? Looking to spend less than 50 if possible, but I'm open to more if I see a great portfolio. 

 For this i think you are WAAAAAAAY wrong, if its a detail tattoo think 300-400$ add colour 500-600$ for a normal tattoo artist, higher one can go over 700+$. This is a not a cheap tattoo and DON`T and i will say it again DON`T cheap out on it. Better save for a year or two then do it properly. 

These day most artist have a pretty detail portfolio on line and when you find somebody that has nice work done, do your self a favour and listen to his advice if the artist says that wont look good on your body work with him, our body is not a flat piece of canvas and tattoos work differently on a 3d shape.

[akio123008]

17 hours ago, IAmNotASmartMan said:

To be honest, it's the "currently in inpatient right now getting past some trauma" that gives me pause for thought

Exactly this. That type of situation is usually the worst time to make decisions you can't reverse.

 

You never know if you'll still think about it that way when you're no longer high on emotions, stress and possibly meds.

 

[Jtalk4456]

On 10/23/2021 at 11:07 PM, Cyberspirit said:

If she really wants it then support her for sure but it might be better to start with something smaller just so she'll know what to expect and how her body will react to the ink.

In some cases you can get allergic reactions to it or her body could just refuse to take in some of the ink, which can be fixed/worked around.

 

Also, there are a lot of crappy tattoo artists and scammers out there so make sure to ask around who works well in your area. A tattoo artist our family knows told me that if they tell you that it will take multiple visits to get it done, they most likely just want you to pay more.

 

As for the kids, I wouldn't worry about them, to be honest. They'll most likely just think that it's cool and might inspire them to get one later down the line, which isn't inherently bad thing imo.

 

Ps:

 

Just a general good rule with tattoos is to wait a year or so with the idea and if you still want it a year later then go for it. Just again, make sure it's done by a good artist.

Yeah we'll be sitting on it for close to that long just based on money. Any good way to identify a good artist? Is it just checking reviews or is there some secret to identifying the good ones?

On 10/23/2021 at 11:09 PM, dizmo said:

1. Pain is completely different from person to person so there isn't really a great way to find that out. It's up to her to know or find out on her own.
2. It's a tattoo. It's just ink, and it's art. It's not like she has started smoking meth. It doesn't change her at all, and it's unlikely you know every single thing about her. People are constantly changing. This is simply the way mankind is.
3. They'll probably think it's cool. Don't really see a reason to dissuade them from that point of view. Letting them know there's deep symbolism behind it is probably a good idea.
4. I think you're being completely unrealistic with your cost estimations. Also, there isn't much point in taking your sketch, getting an artist to adapt it, for it to only be adapted again by the tattoo artist. I hope you know what you're in for here; for a decent artist, you're probably looking at about $100 - $150 an hour. What you're describing, I'd imagine would take at least 6 hours.

2. Yeah I completely agree. the weirdness seems to have disappeared, but I wasn't sure why I had it in the first place. 

4. Oh I'm aware it will cost a ton for the actual tattoo. I was thinking 50 to commission the better sketch. My sketch, if you can even call it that, is not even to the linework sketch of a mediocre artist, it's basically a toddler drawing of birdy on this side, wings here and flower here. I need more than my "sketch" That's why I was thinking of supporting an artist with a commission. Kinda always wanted to do a commissioned art anyways, this is just a good excuse to do it.

On 10/24/2021 at 3:20 AM, Moonzy said:

1. The upside is that she can say "help me scratch my left talon" when she needs help scratching her back, lmao

2. You also have the chance to talk about permanence and what not, but try not to associate tattoo with negative stuffs because you don't want them to view their mother negatively just because of the tattoo

3. I can't even draw a circle properly

1. Yeah it's funny cuz all the weirdness I felt disappeared into thin air, but that made me lol

2. I don't think they would think less of her. Besides us bringing them up not to judge, they're far too young to have associations like that. When you say permanence in this context what would I be teaching to them. Are we just saying to be careful because it's permanent or is there something else I'm not aware of.

3. Try this method

 

On 10/24/2021 at 5:33 PM, Nibbets said:

1. Like someone else said, it will more than likely take at least 2 sessions: 1 for the outline and then one for the color. It might take a 3rd if it needs touching up.

2. The artist you go to will be able to take your sketch and make the design your wife will like.

3. As far as your anxiety it could be because you never knew she wanted one. Look at it this way, it's a back piece. Unless she's wearing a swimsuit, a strapless dress, something else revealing, or nothing at all, you're not going to see it.

4. Some general advice, find an artist that she's comfortable with and has a decent portfolio so you can see pictures of their finished work. Have her wait 6 months or longer before taking the plunge so that she's sure she wants a tattoo and that this isn't a passing fancy,

1. someone else above said if it takes multiple sessions then they might be scamming, so I'm confused with some saying it will take multiple sessions. I guess I'll figure that out as it goes. 

2. That makes sense. They're not just the operator of the machine but artists themselves, so have them do it and cut the middle man. Will them making me a design cost anything separately from the actual tattoo work?

3. I think you're right, and it's disappeared quickly. I'm not worried about me or anyone else seeing it, I think just the change of her wanting it was weird. I figured there would be some things uncovered as she went thru the process of therapy, unpacking years of childhood emotional abuse. I'm very happy that she's able to express her wants better. She typically worries about everyone else, not only before herself, but instead of herself. I think for some reason that's just something I didn't expect to learn about her, not sure why. 

4. Yeah price alone will give us a decision buffer

On 10/25/2021 at 3:06 AM, Kadzo said:

 For this i think you are WAAAAAAAY wrong, if its a detail tattoo think 300-400$ add colour 500-600$ for a normal tattoo artist, higher one can go over 700+$. This is a not a cheap tattoo and DON`T and i will say it again DON`T cheap out on it. Better save for a year or two then do it properly. 

These day most artist have a pretty detail portfolio on line and when you find somebody that has nice work done, do your self a favour and listen to his advice if the artist says that wont look good on your body work with him, our body is not a flat piece of canvas and tattoos work differently on a 3d shape.

Yeah I must not have been clear, I was talking 50 to have someone come up with just the design. I know tattoos will be way more than that.

On 10/23/2021 at 10:35 PM, EDK Tech said:

I wouldn't. If she regrets it in the future, there is no FULL going back.

 

On 10/24/2021 at 10:03 AM, IAmNotASmartMan said:

To be honest, it's the "currently in inpatient right now getting past some trauma" that gives me pause for thought. I think the tattoo sounds beautiful and can completely understand the logic. However, having ADHD, I'm aware that sometimes our mental health concerns can make us impulsive in ways we later regret. I think it's a good thing that it will take you some time to save up for it, if she still wants it then, then there's less reason for concern.
P.s. You sound like a great husband, very supportive. Hoping it all goes well for you both and wishing your wife a speedy recovery.

 

On 10/25/2021 at 3:44 AM, akio123008 said:

Exactly this. That type of situation is usually the worst time to make decisions you can't reverse.

You never know if you'll still think about it that way when you're no longer high on emotions, stress and possibly meds.

I think this is more a case where she has been thinking about a tattoo long before this, but her family has been a big restricting agent growing up. A lot of emotional abuse. Her siblings took it and rebelled, and she went the opposite way and became non confrontational, trying to please everyone. She says she's wanted one for a long time. I think this is more her finally feeling she can let go of their restrictions and be herself, which I fully support. And the transformation just gives her a good idea of symbolism for a tattoo. There will be a good bit of planning, thinking, and waiting for budget, so she has plenty of time to change her mind if she wants to.

On 10/23/2021 at 10:37 PM, MadGoatHaz said:

I feel like you're way too invested in this. Getting ink is normally a very personal and meaningful thing. Let your wife take point on this and support her along the way. 

Luckily, the weirdness disappeared pretty quickly, I think @Nibbetswas right and it was just an initial reaction to not knowing that side of her. I just want to support her however I can.

On 10/25/2021 at 3:06 AM, Kadzo said:

Like somebody mentioned you are overthinking this a bit to much, i did mine when i need moral support for myself and it helped me still does, so stop thinking how does this make you feel because its not effecting your life its effecting hers (be there as a partner and face the fact that after hard times in our life people change and we all have different bare with their burden differently)

Refer to above. I definitely overthink everything, that's my personality, but I wasn't concerned of my feelings as in trying to change her because of them. Quite the opposite, I want to support her and what she wants, which is why it struck me off that it gave me any weirdness. I don't want it to be about me at all, I just was concerned that I had any weird feelings about it at all. I never intended to have her decision or feelings changed by me being uncomfortable. I wanted to stop feeling uncomfortable cuz I knew I shouldn't. Luckily it has since gone away entirely.

[Moonzy]

4 minutes ago, Jtalk4456 said:

Are we just saying to be careful because it's permanent or is there something else I'm not aware of.

just that it's permanent and there are some decisions in life that have permanent impacts

[dizmo]

1 hour ago, Jtalk4456 said:

2. Yeah I completely agree. the weirdness seems to have disappeared, but I wasn't sure why I had it in the first place. 

4. Oh I'm aware it will cost a ton for the actual tattoo. I was thinking 50 to commission the better sketch. My sketch, if you can even call it that, is not even to the linework sketch of a mediocre artist, it's basically a toddler drawing of birdy on this side, wings here and flower here. I need more than my "sketch" That's why I was thinking of supporting an artist with a commission. Kinda always wanted to do a commissioned art anyways, this is just a good excuse to do it.

Every person I know that's gotten tattoos, the artist does the drawing as part of the cost of the tattoo; you shouldn't have to be paying anything for that part. A lot of tattoo artists also like to do their own take on the idea, with some ideas from the person it's going on. It's part of the art form. The person doing the tattoo is an artist.

[Cyberspirit]

2 hours ago, Jtalk4456 said:

Yeah we'll be sitting on it for close to that long just based on money. Any good way to identify a good artist? Is it just checking reviews or is there some secret to identifying the good ones?

Just gotta scope things out and ask around. Most artists are on Facebook or have their own site with their portfolio so you can check all their previous works over there to figure out how they work.

 

After you find someone just visit them in person and I'm sure they'll happily answer any questions you might have.

 

Quote

1. someone else above said if it takes multiple sessions then they might be scamming, so I'm confused with some saying it will take multiple sessions. I guess I'll figure that out as it goes.

Just to clarify this, what I said mostly applies to small to medium sized tattoos although some people do bigger ones in one sitting as well but that's going to depend on the artist.

The person I know does do bigger ones in one sitting but of course really big ones will take at least two sessions.

[Jtalk4456]

On 5/8/2022 at 8:49 AM, lizzeswellness said:

• Keep it clean. Wash your skin daily with a gentle, fragrance-free soap.
• Stay hydrated. Drink plenty of water to keep your skin moisturized.

thanks for the info!