Friendzone

[Misanthrope]

45 minutes ago, SupremeGOAT said:

noone owes you friendship either... what exactly is your point?

Precisely that: Friendship as an ulterior motive to "wait" for or settle for instead of sex is not a "nice guy" thing to do: It shows that you're not really a friend, you're insincere about your intentions if you honestly feel bad about being in the "friendzone"

 

So honestly no such thing as a friendzone exists: you become friends with people because you enjoy their company and them as a person. If you complain that you were forced to remain just friends cause you wanted something else or that you're too much of a good person to just break off contact completely after being rejected then you actually are misleading a person into thinking you truly appreciate them as a friend instead

[SupremeGOAT]

2 minutes ago, Misanthrope said:

Precisely that: Friendship as an ulterior motive to "wait" for or settle for instead of sex is not a "nice guy" thing to do: It shows that you're not really a friend,

1 problem... some of these individuals who remain friends with the person that rejected honestly believe they are in love and hope for some magical moment to happen where a mutual realization of love to occur. Will you color these poor souls dastardly? i think that's ridiculous but it doesn't make them any less of a friend... does it? o,o friendzone

[SupremeGOAT]

16 minutes ago, Misanthrope said:

"nice guy"

girls get placed in the friend zone too....

[Misanthrope]

41 minutes ago, SupremeGOAT said:

girls get placed in the friend zone too....

Yeah I tried to remain neutral on the rest of the post with "person" and such but that one is such a cliche that you can't really escape it.
 

48 minutes ago, SupremeGOAT said:

1 problem... some of these individuals who remain friends with the person that rejected honestly believe they are in love and hope for some magical moment to happen where a mutual realization of love to occur. Will you color these poor souls dastardly? i think that's ridiculous but it doesn't make them any less of a friend... does it? o,o friendzone

 

Yes I would: love has nothing to do with being creepy, opportunistic, predatory. Many people who honestly say they felt love in their hearts go on to commit heinous crimes anyway, often to the object of their desire (or love as they would later claim)

 

Being "in love" it's no excuse for conditioning said friendship for a reward in the form of sex even if that reward is a very idealized "love" relationship.

 

Now here is where I get controversial: people who complain about the "friendzone" are only the ones who never leave it because their friendship is not sincere and they are consumed by their sexual desires to the point of resentment and objectification. A "Friendzone" inflicted person is just equal parts entitlement and guilt but the guilt almost always fades and only entitlement and resentment remain.

 

This is why people who actually do not care about the friendzone are the ones who are infinitely more likely to end up having a bit of a fling with someone they consider a friend and end up with a "fuck buddy".

[dizmo]

 

On 9/27/2018 at 11:33 AM, MadyTehWolfie said:

Men and women can't "just be friends" sooner you realize this the better off you'll be.

What? Sure they can. That's an idiotic thing to say. Perhaps it's your experience, but it's not fact.

On 9/27/2018 at 11:36 AM, MadyTehWolfie said:

Any women who needs a date app to get a date will come with baggage. Either physically or mentally.

Again, incorrect.

23 hours ago, Arika S said:

There is a common trend, mainly in young people, which is what I think the "friend zone" came from. And this is something I've had personal experience with. 

 

Don't mistake kindness for affection

 

People have this assumption that when a girl is nice to you, it means she likes you in a romantic way. So they build themselves up over x amount if time with this belief and when they finally tell them their feelings, they are met with a response they were not expecting, because in their mind the kindness they get might as well be obvious flirting. 

 

I've had real and online friends ask me out (some while I was already with someone) and after I say no the common line is "oh, I thought you liked me too" so now I have to be very careful in how I interact with these people as to not give them the wrong idea. Oh and of course it's my fault, not their self inflated expectations and incorrect assumptions 

Hahaha, so true. There's a girl I work with, every single guy in our department has asked her out on dates multiple times. I feel sorry for her, as it must get old pretty quick, and she has a boyfriend. I've also had similar experiences though. Just because you're nice, people see it as interest, when really, it's anything but. Can get real awkward real quick. I'm currently working on subtle hints with a coworker that I'm not interested that way.

[SupremeGOAT]

9 minutes ago, Misanthrope said:

conditioning said friendship for a reward in the form of sex even if that reward is a very idealized "love" relationship.

lol you are making it seem like these people are all sinister masterminds and emotional manipulators. People in the friendzone don't refer to it as the friendzone because in their heads "it's fine my grandparent's started out as friends" or some other stuff they tell themselves to keep going on like that... When you're on the outside looking in you can tell when - person A likes person B more than how person B likes person A, as the viewer you can say "well she is in the friendzone o,o. You ever seen tobey maguire's spiderman? Peter Parker was a neighbor to MJ from since they were 8... friends from then to when she was dating flash to when she was dating harry to when she was kissing spiderman to when she was engaged to Jameson's son. Through all of that he was her friend and wanted more... people like that exist and are not trying to emotionally manipulate anything...  sure it's sad and incomprehensible to me but at the end of the day hes just a friend who wanted more but settled for friendship while he kept hoping for more... friendzone o,o

[Misanthrope]

1 hour ago, SupremeGOAT said:

lol you are making it seem like these people are all sinister masterminds and emotional manipulators.

No, I the opposite they're quite inept at emotional manipulation, but if they had those social skills they'd probably be frat idiots.

 

Quote

People in the friendzone don't refer to it as the friendzone because in their heads "it's fine my grandparent's started out as friends" or some other stuff they tell themselves to keep going on like that.

 

See this is where we have a big disconnect imho: yes people in "the friendzone" might not even think of it as such and I am not really talking about said people and how they pursue others. Normal people who get rejected well, they react normally. They pursue someone else, they remain civil with someone, they might put a bit more distance, whatever. These normal social interactions are not my concern because that's just something most people go through.

 

I am talking about people who do joke/talk a lot about the friendzone, like enough to create memes, threads, long discussions and eventually form entire subcultures like "Incel" or "MRA" etc.

 

 

[Giganthrax]

On 9/28/2018 at 4:47 AM, MadyTehWolfie said:

If a women is decent looking shell have no problem peeking a man's interest. 

Yeah, but women are not men.

 

In some contrived world, sure, any halfway decent-looking woman can approach men and say "Wanna screw?" and a bunch of guys would jump at the opportunity, because human males are by nature sexually opportunistic.

 

However, in reality, there's a complex biological evaluation process going on in the background of a woman's mind. Unlike men, they are decidedly NOT sexually opportunistic, and even "easy" women will subconsciously qualify a guy in many ways before they can consider getting intimate with him. The key word here is subconsciously. 

 

So, the whole thing about women being able to get meaningless hookups any time they want is beyond the point. Of course they can (because men will screw anything that moves as long as it doesn't take much effort), but most women don't care, because that's not what they're after. What they want is some guy who will come along and make them become attracted to him. In other words, they want to be charmed and to be made to feel they can "give themselves over" to this man they can trust. 

 

Just to illustrate how little women care about peeking the interest of random men: some of my ex-girlfriends are actually disgusted when they're hit on by random guys. In their mind, they wonder what's wrong with them that these lame men think they can take them to bed. 

[Giganthrax]

12 hours ago, SupremeGOAT said:

i see... Nothing is wrong with moving on after rejection however some people find that difficult and choose to stay friends with the person they wanted an intimate relationship with in hopes that the person changes their mind. This is the friend zone. 

No, this is the guy being insincere with fake "friendship." How would you feel if you found out your male best friend is hanging out with you because he hopes you'll recognize your gay side someday and have sex with him? A disturbing concept, isn't it?

 

If a guy can't move on after a woman rejects your advances, he has some growing up to do. 

[Drak3]

On 9/26/2018 at 7:39 AM, LordOTaco said:

Worst that happens is they say no.

Worst that can happen is that they cut off your arms and legs and keep you as a torture pet, or kill you.

[SupremeGOAT]

11 hours ago, Giganthrax said:

No, this is the guy being insincere with fake "friendship." How would you feel if you found out your male best friend is hanging out with you because he hopes you'll recognize your gay side someday and have sex with him? A disturbing concept, isn't it?

 

If a guy can't move on after a woman rejects your advances, he has some growing up to do. 

i have a post after that, it further illustrates my point. I noticed that people seem to think everyone in the friendzone is evil or up to something lol... some of them are o,o but not the peter parkers of the world.

[SupremeGOAT]

11 hours ago, Giganthrax said:

In some contrived world, sure, any halfway decent-looking woman can approach men and say "Wanna screw?" and a bunch of guys would jump at the opportunity, because human males are by nature sexually opportunistic.

can you imagine dat shit doe? women can just turn their stuff on or off when they want.. they got it made... if i was the only guy in an office and every chick in the office wanted to get in my pants... even buck tooth betty getting some eventually lol...lol some woman walks up to me on the street and goes.. hey wanna hook up...and i go.. eww gross perv get away from me! ROFLOLMAO!

[Giganthrax]

10 hours ago, SupremeGOAT said:

can you imagine dat shit doe? women can just turn their stuff on or off when they want.. they got it made... if i was the only guy in an office and every chick in the office wanted to get in my pants... even buck tooth betty getting some eventually lol...lol some woman walks up to me on the street and goes.. hey wanna hook up...and i go.. eww gross perv get away from me! ROFLOLMAO!

It's biology + economics at work.

 

Men produce millions of sperm every day and can theoretically get multiple women pregnant in one day, at no longterm cost to themselves biologically. Women get only one egg per month, and if they get pregnant, they basically spend the next couple of decades carrying and caring for a new human. 

 

So, throughout our evolutionary history, women who slept around ended up getting pregnant by random guys, and single mothers and their children didn't have a high survival rate in pre-modern times, so those genes didn't propagate. At the same time, other women dislike "easy" women (because they're concerned the easy women will seduce their husbands and divert his resources), while men take advantage of them (because sexual opportunism) and at the same time distrust and dislike them (because you can't trust an easy woman to stay loyal and nobody wants to be cucked). 

 

So, it's really really really not ideal for a woman to act sexually opportunistic like a man, which is why they've evolved to absolutely not act like that. :) 

[bleedblue]

18 minutes ago, valdyrgramr said:

What I learned from this!

1.  Relationships are about looks.

2. Only thirsty guys strike conversations in person.  

3.  Not this one, but to a previous post of yours!  I can't have female friends for the sake of being friends.  Clearly, I'm thirsty and I have some other motive to use them because of the patriarchy. 

4.  To another previous post, any woman seeking a relationship online has issues.

 

u wot m8?

Very helpful life lessons indeed. Thanks @SupremeGOAT!

[bleedblue]

20 minutes ago, valdyrgramr said:

That was Mady, not op.

I stand corrected, and ashamed.

[SupremeGOAT]

2 hours ago, bleedblue said:

Very helpful life lessons indeed. Thanks @SupremeGOAT!

Life lessons...hmm... everyone has their demons to fight... things we hate about the world and/or ourselves... its hard to fight these demons on our own, after all you are your greatest enemy... we would rather choose to change the world than ourselves even when its obvious the opposite has a better probability of success and would in the end change both... as a coping mechanism of this harsh reality we "unintentionally" project our demons onto others and fight others instead, in hopes of changing the world and ourselves simultaneously... this is but one of the curses that plague humanity... It is hard to find inner peace... best to start when we are in the shower and our minds are clear, there we are most likely to at the very least see the demons in ourselves... life...

[Unhelpful]

This thread.... Oof. The friendzone doesn't exist. It looks like OP is an /r/im14andthisisdeep / /r/iamverysmart incel neckbeard.

 

6 minutes ago, SupremeGOAT said:

best to start when we are in the shower and our minds are clear, there we are most likely to at the very least see the demons in ourselves... life...

Yup. This guy is sure special.

[LinusTech]

Got a headache reading the first page of this. Locked.