Friendzone

[Giganthrax]

Friendzone is purely a guy's fault in pretty much every case.

 

If you like a woman, there's absolutely no reason not to try and lean in for the kiss at some point during the first or second (or maaaaaaybe the third if you're really unlucky/noob) time you two are alone. Take her out for a drink or two + a walk by the river in the evening, and aim to go in for the kiss at some point during the evening. If she kisses you back, great. If she rejects you, that's not bad either, as that means you now know for a fact she's not interested and can safely go look for someone who is. That's how a normal guy does it.

 

Friendzone is what happens when a guy's too chicken to do the above, and instead opts to act like a friend for however long it takes in hopes that something magical will happen that'll make her attracted to him, for some reason. That's not how it works. People by default aren't attracted to their friends. If they are, something's wrong with them. 

 

Even if a chick is deliberately deceiving a guy in order to get emotional support/money from him, it's still his fault for letting himself waste time on some hag that just takes and never gives. That's not even friendzone, that's the guy being stupid. 

[Acceptive]

If you're friend zoned it means that you wanted to pursue a relationship with a woman but she just wants to be friends.  No shame in it, just means you aint her type

[dalekphalm]

55 minutes ago, MadyTehWolfie said:

Men and women can't "just be friends" sooner you realize this the better off you'll be.

 

51 minutes ago, MadyTehWolfie said:

Any women who needs a date app to get a date will come with baggage. Either physically or mentally.

 

Both of these statements are patently false. I'm a man, and I have quite a few female friends. I haven't banged or hooked up with them. Sure, in some situations, some male/female friendships will lead to romantic or sexual encounters, but this is not the status quo.

 

And in terms of online dating? Whether using an app or not - there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Especially as people get older - get out of high school or college - the amount of social situations in which you would want to pursue a stranger romantically become limited. Eg: Going to the bar (which I would not want to look for a partner at a bar).

 

Alternatively, what you like in a partner may not be available in the local dating pool.

 

Using a blanket statement to say that they will come with baggage is kind of ridiculous, to say the least.

[GDRRiley]

1 hour ago, Giganthrax said:

Friendzone is purely a guy's fault in pretty much every case.

I'm going to disagree. Its often a combo of both people. 
Had I realized what one of my classmates was trying to saying by inviting me to her birthday and had I be willing to date at the time I wouldn't be in the super awkward situation now where she liked and I now like her me but she is currently in a relationship with someone else. 

1 hour ago, MadyTehWolfie said:

Any women who needs a date app to get a date will come with baggage. Either physically or mentally.

everyone comes with some the question is how much. 

 

1 hour ago, Acceptive said:

If you're friend zoned it means that you wanted to pursue a relationship with a woman but she just wants to be friends.  No shame in it, just means you aint her type

or they are in a relationship with someone else. 

It also isn't always a guy being friendzone I've seen it done to girls as well.

[Guest]

Of course you can be friends with women. It’s a two-way street. Feels unnecessary to say this.

 

The person who made up the friend zone was probably some loner getting shot down.

[SupremeGOAT]

8 minutes ago, dalekphalm said:

Any women who needs a date app to get a date will come with baggage.

I think i understand what the poster was saying here a little bit o,o Under normal circumstances for a hook up the woman would be the one being approached (whether at a bar, at the park or in a church). If its the case where someone is seeking a serious relationship YES it would be convenient to use a dating app or service, however if a woman is single and seeking a serious relationship on a platform like tinder... at this point the rules are different now shes now an aproacher too... it means she either rejected advances made during the time period before tinder, no advances were made at all (may it be because of appearance personality etc) or she broke off the last relationship because it wasn't what she wanted. Either way you will have to work through some stuff and there are criteria that you will have to meet.. that can be rather bothersome to some people who are on tinder looking for just a hookup...but may be essential for people looking for a serious relationship... the majority of men however aren't on tinder for a serious relationship. IT'S NOT IMPOSSIBLE just improbable... Tinder isn't exactly the same as christianmingle.com.... you have to be really out of options to be looking for a serious relationship on an app with a reputation like tinder.

[SupremeGOAT]

29 minutes ago, RorzNZ said:

Of course you can be friends with women.

why is it that when people see in movies, tv shows or real LIFE a man and a woman who are getting along great together as friends always go... "they would be so great together"...

[Guest]

27 minutes ago, SupremeGOAT said:

why is it that when people see in movies, tv shows or real LIFE a man and a woman who are getting along great together as friends always go... "they would be so great together"...

Life  isn’t high school lol.

[SupremeGOAT]

10 minutes ago, RorzNZ said:

Life  isn’t high school lol.

O_O bro i thought that too... but like bowling for soup said... highschool never ends

[Acceptive]

3 hours ago, GDRRiley said:

I'm going to disagree. Its often a combo of both people. 
Had I realized what one of my classmates was trying to saying by inviting me to her birthday and had I be willing to date at the time I wouldn't be in the super awkward situation now where she liked and I now like her me but she is currently in a relationship with someone else. 

everyone comes with some the question is how much. 

 

or they are in a relationship with someone else. 

It also isn't always a guy being friendzone I've seen it done to girls as well.

yea it happens to girls too.

[Guest]

13 minutes ago, SupremeGOAT said:

O_O bro i thought that too... but like bowling for soup said... highschool never ends

It ends when you finish and go to university or take an apprenticeship 

[orbitalbuzzsaw]

Aaaand this is why I don't bother with dating...

[GDRRiley]

1 hour ago, Arika S said:

Don't mistake kindness for affection

 

People have this assumption that when a girl is nice to you, it means she likes you in a romantic way. So they build themselves up over x amount if time with this belief and when they finally tell them their feelings, they are met with a response they were not expecting, because in their mind the kindness they get might as well be obvious flirting. 

 

I've had real and online friends ask me out (some while I was already with someone) and after I say no the common line is "oh, I thought you liked me too" so now I have to be very careful in how I interact with these people as to not give them the wrong idea. Oh and of course it's my fault, not their self inflated expectations and incorrect assumptions 

Funny thing for me kindness lead to affection or at least me realizing what that feeling was, and the girl even admitted there was a time when we could have gone out had I realized what she was trying to say, and been willing to date. I don't know at the time tho if I could have passed a really hard class and deal with all of her emotional issues. 

 

I'm going to say it goes both ways. 

 

Its just a wise thing to be careful when you start to get personal with people. 

[GDRRiley]

Just now, Arika S said:

well the other part to it, is when you're the only girl that someone interacts with (other than their mother, HA), it's kind of inevitable that they will fall for you. it sucks  because there's nothing you can do about it

In my cases it isn't the only girl its just the girl who opened up, and who I was willing to open up to.

[MadyTehWolfie]

7 hours ago, GDRRiley said:

I'm going to disagree. Its often a combo of both people. 
Had I realized what one of my classmates was trying to saying by inviting me to her birthday and had I be willing to date at the time I wouldn't be in the super awkward situation now where she liked and I now like her me but she is currently in a relationship with someone else. 

everyone comes with some the question is how much. 

 

or they are in a relationship with someone else. 

It also isn't always a guy being friendzone I've seen it done to girls as well.

If a women is decent looking shell have no problem peeking a man's interest. Case in point, if they are online dating app they are either 1. Inflating their ego by seeing how many people swip right 2. Bored and just messing with people 3. Bored again but have a significant other and just wants "friends" 4. Has way too much baggage 5. Is insane 6. Is pretty hideous 7. Possibly has kids see number 4

[Mooshi]

The "friend zone" only exists if you're a thirsty incel.

[MadyTehWolfie]

8 hours ago, Arika S said:

those are some pretty massive assumptions. how would you suggest that women find a partner then? going to bars (some people don't want to have to deal with drunk idiots)? walking the street and getting randomly hit on? Unwelcome advances at college/work? why are dating apps the ones that make you automatically assume the above?

 

If i had to get back into the dating game (touch so much wood) i would probably use tinder to be honest. it allows you to talk to someone and get to know them to some extent without even having to meet them face to face. Online dating is much more common now that it's just as valid to find a partner than any other method.

The only unwelcome advance from men are from men they don't find attractive enough to date. Also women make connections in college/work/wherever. It's not just people hitting on them that's not really how it works in the real world. You have conversations with people get to know them in person. The key here is that women are approached by men for conversations etc. If they aren't good looking enough for men to bother doing this they tend to go online same thing for men that are inept at talking to women in person.

[SupremeGOAT]

14 hours ago, GDRRiley said:

Its just a wise thing to be careful when you start to get personal with people.

truth! casual sex is one thing but satan is real and can come into your life...

[SupremeGOAT]

2 hours ago, Mooshi said:

The "friend zone" only exists if you're a thirsty incel.

Just to clarify are you saying there is no friend zone because you never encountered it or because the concept of the friendzone is ok and normal?

[Mooshi]

14 hours ago, SupremeGOAT said:

Just to clarify are you saying there is no friend zone because you never encountered it or because the concept of the friendzone is ok and normal?

 

I'm in a 6 year and going relationship. Have female friends that I treat the same as male friends because we share common interests. I've had rejections before, we all had. The thing is, there's a huge difference between moving on from that and treating that experience as something negative to dwell on aka the why doesn't he/she see me as partner material "friend zone".

 

The latter is an unhealthy mindset that almost guarantees being single. 

[SupremeGOAT]

8 hours ago, Mooshi said:

The thing is, there's a huge difference between moving on from that and treating that experience as something negative to dwell on

i see... Nothing is wrong with moving on after rejection however some people find that difficult and choose to stay friends with the person they wanted an intimate relationship with in hopes that the person changes their mind. This is the friend zone. It would take a different kind of creature to not take rejection negatively and cast out all feelings of envy and shame simultaneously. I thought when you said 

 

On 9/28/2018 at 5:23 AM, Mooshi said:

The "friend zone" only exists if you're a thirsty incel.

you meant that people who are friends with someone they want when that person doesn't want them back is a "thirsty incel". I see now you were redefining the friend zone. Not everyone (if anyone) can just stop wanting something they desire some people distract themselves by wanting something else... some people...

[Misanthrope]

Are any of you honestly capable of fucking every single person you could ever meet regardless of looks or gender? Can you honestly tell me you could happily want to have sex with all 7 billion people on this earth?

 

There's your answer: nobody fucking owes you sex or a relationship.

[kokakolia]

10 hours ago, Mooshi said:

 

I'm in a 6 year and going relationship. Have female friends that I treat the same as male friends because we share common interests. I've had rejections before, we all had. The thing is, there's a huge difference between moving on from that and treating that experience as something negative to dwell on aka the why doesn't he/she see me as partner material "friend zone".

 

The latter is an unhealthy mindset that almost guarantees being single. 

Being single isn’t even the worst part. You allow yourself to be used because you expect something, anything in return

[SupremeGOAT]

1 hour ago, Misanthrope said:

nobody fucking owes you sex or a relationship.

noone owes you friendship either... what exactly is your point?

[Mooshi]

27 minutes ago, kokakolia said:

Being single isn’t even the worst part. You allow yourself to be used because you expect something, anything in return

Ironically, my relationship I'm in now happened when I *didn't* want to be with someone, it just happened.