Shyness...

[Merc.]

Hi.

 

I am a 16 year old high-school student.

 

I started high school couple months ago and I don't have any friends. My only friend went to different school so I feel really lonely and it starts to annoy me. I would like to talk to people and make friends but then there is that I am really really shy.

 

Also people at my school know that I am really shy because some people came from same secondary school so I think people would look at me if I started to talk to random people at school and people already have their "friend circles" so it would be really hard to fit in. I am afraid that if I say something weird or people don't understand me they start to laugh and that makes me feel really uncomfortable. (if I ever get to that point that I am talking to random people...)

 

Don't get me wrong here I can speak to my family "normally"

 

I was also bullied a lot in primary school and I think that affected my self-confidence. Basically I don't trust random people.

 

If you have any advises how to be less shy or how to boost self-confidence be sure to tell them here. (YouTube videos don't seem to help...)

 

And also feel free to share your own story how did you got rid of your shyness and tell me where should I start.

 

Thank you for reading and double thank you for replying.

 

 

[TheRandomness]

Start talking to the people you sit next to in classes. Eventually, that'll lead to friends. (Worked for me)

[ZetZet]

Just speak to people when they are alone. When people are alone they are just as shy as you are.

[PHInfinite]

Scream BE MY FRIEND to them... inb4 the guys who say buy them..

[LancerBG]

join some kind of sport or school activity. people tend to be more social because they have a common interest that they are doing aside from what you have to do with school. 

[Guest]

 

Pretty much. 

 

What I mean by that is, don't be afraid of how people will see you; you've said yourself they already see you as a shy person, so what difference will it make if they think you're slightly weird (nothing wrong with being weird, people that aren't are boring) if you try talking to them?

 

Look for people that aren't 'popular' or out-there... I'm not saying just find anyone, but just look for someone that may be also a little shy and looking for friends. 

 

No matter what I say, It will change nothing unless you're actually willing to give it a shot. So, get out there, and try talking to people that you may sit next to in class, have similar interests, similar subjects or whatever... And just remember that at the end of the day, it's human nature to judge people (don't care what anyone says, we all do it whether it's negatively or not) and so don't take notice of what people you don't care about think of you.

 

Good luck with it (Y)

[Merc.]

Just speak to people when they are alone. When people are alone they are just as shy as you are.

Is that true? I think I could try that. But it needs A LOT courage from me...

[MoonKnightSpidey]

Hi.

 

I am a 16 year old high-school student.

 

I started high school couple months ago and I don't have any friends. My only friend went to different school so I feel really lonely and it starts to annoy me. I would like to talk to people and make friends but then there is that I am really really shy.

 

Also people at my school know that I am really shy because some people came from same secondary school so I think people would look at me if I started to talk to random people at school and people already have their "friend circles" so it would be really hard to fit in. I am afraid that if I say something weird or people don't understand me they start to laugh and that makes me feel really uncomfortable. (if I ever get to that point that I am talking to random people...)

 

Don't get me wrong here I can speak to my family "normally"

 

I was also bullied a lot in primary school and I think that affected my self-confidence. Basically I don't trust random people.

 

If you have any advises how to be less shy or how to boost self-confidence be sure to tell them here. (YouTube videos don't seem to help...)

 

And also feel free to share your own story how did you got rid of your shyness and tell me where should I start.

 

Thank you for reading and double thank you for replying.

Join a club or something. Also, don't care what anyone says, I get called a fag in school at least 10 times a day (not even kidding.) I don't even care. I'm not even gay either.

[aneil1998]

I cant remember where I read this but they were saying to find people with similar interests like Gaming or technology

[ZetZet]

Is that true? I think I could try that. But it needs A LOT courage from me...

Most people are open to talking when they are alone, unless you see they are busy. If they aren't busy you can just say hello, or talk about something relevant to both of you, like homework or classes.

[The Official Czex]

Most people are open to talking when they are alone, unless you see they are busy. If they aren't busy you can just say hello, or talk about something relevant to both of you, like homework or classes.

 

We love you, @ZetZet! <3

[Merc.]

Most people are open to talking when they are alone, unless you see they are busy. If they aren't busy you can just say hello, or talk about something relevant to both of you, like homework or classes.

How would you define "busy"? Does that include using your phone and playing games on it?

[Virtual01]

Protip: What people think of you in high school means literally zero once you get out. Never forget that. It may seem like a big deal while you're there, but you will come to realize that once high school is over you will most likely never have to interact with any of those people again.

 

So do what you want, be friends with who you want, and don't worry about what other people think.

 

As for friends, a surefire way to meet other nerds is to take AP classes. Nerd city, free friends.

[ZetZet]

How would you define "busy"? Does that include using your phone and playing games on it?

No like studying for upcoming test.

[NeatSquidYT]

How would you define "busy"? Does that include using your phone and playing games on it?

Just when they don't look like they're engaged. 

[TheRandomness]

How would you define "busy"? Does that include using your phone and playing games on it?

Busy means anything but standing around and the occasional glance at the phone.

[xgn]

No offense but this is a PC forum i would recommend a psychiatrist

[Patrick Bateman]

No offense but this is a PC forum i would recommend a psychiatrist

and? like you can see here the members gave great advice... 

[Sithhy]

To op: I was 90% the same when I was your age (19 now), I was bullied in gymnasium because of how I looked (I mean here pimples on my face that came from my rare bone disease). But then I got into the Technical College where people didn't know much about me, even tho some guys that knew me from gymnasium were going to the same school. I made friends (somehow), "opened" myself & I actually enjoyed life. Sometimes I miss my class [emoji17]

Even some cute girls from my class were talking to me like to a best friend [emoji1]

[Merc.]

To op: I was 90% the same when I was your age (19 now), I was bullied in gymnasium because of how I looked (I mean here pimples on my face that came from my rare bone disease). But then I got into the Technical College where people didn't know much about me, even tho some guys that knew me from gymnasium were going to the same school. I made friends (somehow), "opened" myself & I actually enjoyed life. Sometimes I miss my class [emoji17]

Even some cute girls from my class were talking to me like to a best friend [emoji1]

Could you tell me more about how did you "opened" yourself? Was it difficult? Because I really want to talk to people but I'm not brave enough...

[Sithhy]

Could you tell me more about how did you "opened" yourself? Was it difficult? Because I really want to talk to people but I'm not brave enough...

To be honest... I dont know how I did it, came by itself to me somehow. I started to talk with the guy that was sitting with me most of the time, then started to talk with more people & then I've beaten my shyness. I did the talking in small steps like "Could you lend me a pen because mine ran out" or something, just to somehow start a conversation...

[spwath]

join some kind of sport or school activity. people tend to be more social because they have a common interest that they are doing aside from what you have to do with school.

Spwath seconds this from first hand experience, in third person.

[KemoKa]

Don't worry, OP, We've got some shy people here. Me for instance, the reason that I appear so energetic on this forum is because it's mostly anonymous. IRL I'm actually really introverted.

Honestly, the best way to look for friends is to just look for people like you. Look at people in the cafeteria or wherever. Look for people who seem to be as shy and isolated as you feel. Talk to them. I guarantee that at least a couple of them will be in the same boat. If they turn you down flat, then that's okay. You can just leave. Not gonna hurt you. But some of them will be open to the idea of hanging out. Think about it, if you were sitting alone at a table and someone shy-looking came up to you, shuffled their feet and bashfully asked you if they could sit with you, what would you say? Obviously if you're a normal person with at least some social tendencies, you'd be open to the idea, right? With that in mind, try it out. Any negative impressions people get from people don't mean anything in the long run, whilst any good friendships you make may last years and years, or at the very least end on a good note if you end up never seeing them again.

Also important to note: DO NOT limit your pool of potential friends to just people of your gender. Or age, but particularly gender. Having a good balance of friends is what you want. And don't be nervous. What applies to dudes in these situations is no different than what applies to girls, especially shy ones (I'm assuming you're a dude - sorry if not, but no problem, because the reverse is true as well). Shy people don't distinguish genders nearly as much as outspoken people do. (the rest of the horde at school)

 

Source: 8th grade was my first year living in the US and it was a veritable nightmare of bullying and derision. Because I spoke out. Because I tried making friends with loud people in the way that loud people make friends. It was really really terrible.
High school was different. I went through all four years without a single incident of mistreatment, because 8th grade made me totally withdraw. I kept a low profile, ignored most of the people and made friends with a ton of awesome nerds like me in pretty much the same way that I outlined for OP. It was pretty terrific.

[Merc.]

Don't worry, OP, We've got some shy people here. Me for instance, the reason that I appear so energetic on this forum is because it's mostly anonymous. IRL I'm actually really introverted.

Honestly, the best way to look for friends is to just look for people like you. Look at people in the cafeteria or wherever. Look for people who seem to be as shy and isolated as you feel. Talk to them. I guarantee that at least a couple of them will be in the same boat. If they turn you down flat, then that's okay. You can just leave. Not gonna hurt you. But some of them will be open to the idea of hanging out. Think about it, if you were sitting alone at a table and someone shy-looking came up to you, shuffled their feet and bashfully asked you if they could sit with you, what would you say? Obviously if you're a normal person with at least some social tendencies, you'd be open to the idea, right? With that in mind, try it out. Any negative impressions people get from people don't mean anything in the long run, whilst any good friendships you make may last years and years, or at the very least end on a good note if you end up never seeing them again.

Also important to note: DO NOT limit your pool of potential friends to just people of your gender. Or age, but particularly gender. Having a good balance of friends is what you want. And don't be nervous. What applies to dudes in these situations is no different than what applies to girls, especially shy ones (I'm assuming you're a dude - sorry if not, but no problem, because the reverse is true as well). Shy people don't distinguish genders nearly as much as outspoken people do. (the rest of the horde at school)

Source: 8th grade was my first year living in the US and it was a veritable nightmare of bullying and derision. Because I spoke out. Because I tried making friends with loud people in the way that loud people make friends. It was really really terrible.

High school was different. I went through all four years without a single incident of mistreatment, because 8th grade made me totally withdraw. I kept a low profile, ignored most of the people and made friends with a ton of awesome nerds like me in pretty much the same way that I outlined for OP. It was pretty terrific.

I also write here only because nobody knows me here. I have been shy since I was bullied at 4th grade (not sure about US schools but here in Finland). The bullying continued at 5th grade but then the bully changed school. 6th grade was okay, got my best friend then. At 7th class my school changed (secondary school). Then bullying began again. But luckily 8th and 9th grade were good. No bullying but I still don't trust people...

The funny thing is that in 1st to 3rd class my best friend was the bully that started bullying me at 4th grade.

I hope you understood something. Sorry about all grammar mistakes.

[sgtcool]

I have the same problem

 

my friend left to another school and removed me from steam

and the other friend moved to new york, i bearly see him online

 

also classmates already have tons of friends , so yeahh i ahve teh same problem, also im really sleepy in school since im a 9gagger