Very off topic advice needed

[xox]

KK everyone, need to sort some shizzle out.

 

Basically, today, I saw my mate, we went for a walk and then we went and got a maccies etc. Nothing particularly special, just an average Saturday afternoon to be honest. However, since he is such a massive gossip, he told me something that I previously did not know

In the simplest terms, he told me that my brother is gay. I genuinely don't know how to feel about this... I am ambivalent towards gay people to be honest. However, when it's your own brother, hmmm, I don't know. I feel happy for him on the one hand but on the other hand, I need to know how he feels and what exactly he is (after all; sexuality is a spectrum). It doesn't even affect me, but I just want to be sound with it to be honest. When I invite him for Christmas in 5 years time; me with my wife and kids and him with his husband and adopted children, I want to be 100% sound with it. I don't want to grow apart from him, I want an ongoing relationship with my brother.

My second issue is my parents and Sister. I come from one of these neo-christian families. So to say that they are generally socially conservative (idk, I may have inherited it a bit) and they are CofE Christian (something I am against), the rest of my family are against homosexuality and that kind of thing. I don't know how they will react to it. I have a good feeling that he has been telling other people (ie: his friends) about this. I am not that pleased that he hasn't told me yet, I just want him to be ok in himself. i get the feeling that he has been pretending to be someone else for years that he isn't and I don't know how to feel about that. I just want him to be himself.

 

 

Should I just let it sit or what? I want to hear it from him first to give me closure and I want to ensure he is comfortable in himself. I don't particularly wanna wait for him to come out but I don't wanna force it. Also, he has a boyf as far as I know, don't know how to feel about this, but again, just want him to be happy (wanna know who it is tbh as he is my brother and he has probs been keeping this life, this alter ego from me.

 

Top lol, off topic much

[Nineshadow]

That must be a very odd feeling.

[techswede]

Wait it out if you can. Telling a family member that you're gay is a very tricky thing. So he might just be afraid that things will go south after he says anything

[xox]

Wait it out if you can. Telling a family member that you're gay is a very tricky thing. So he might just be afraid that things will go south after he says anything

Yeah, exactly with my super-conservative family

[Dude]

He doesn't need the others if they're only going to hate him for who he is. Just so long as he isn't flamboyant and posts of Facebook constantly about his homosexuality I am 200% fine with it personally.

Seriously though, he's your brother. Back him. Fuck your folks. He's probably better off. Unless they're rich then your parents and sister don't need to know. Why? Because there is no need for them to know because knowing causes upset.

[beebskadoo]

I am an expert!!!!!

 

Ok wait for him to come out to you, don't push  the issue  with him and don't out him!

 

These things take time! 

[Fred Castellum]

I am an expert!!!!!

 

Ok wait for him to come out to you, don't push  the issue  with him and don't out him!

 

These things take time! 

^Take it from beebskadoo!

 

[beebskadoo]

That must be a very odd feeling.

It shouldn't be

[beebskadoo]

^Take it from beebskadoo!

 

MMHMM *snaps fingers*

[Nineshadow]

It shouldn't be

Well...it's less weird than @brownninja97 story with his adopted brother.

[Snickerzz]

you shouldn't straight up ask him, but you should show him your'e okay with him being gay. but let the words "im gay" come from his mouth

 

ask him if hes heard about tim cook being gay and how you think its great he is being who he is

 

@tomlambert01

[xox]

I am an expert!!!!!

 

Ok wait for him to come out to you, don't push  the issue  with him and don't out him!

 

These things take time! 

Thanks dude, tbh, I was hoping you would reply because you know (like you said), you're an expert. I think I'll just let it sit, but how does it feel to be gay? Do you feel any sort of attraction to women? Can you appreciate a good woman? Sorry about this, I just wanna know

[beebskadoo]

He doesn't need the others if they're only going to hate him for who he is. Just so long as he isn't flamboyant and posts of Facebook constantly about his homosexuality I am 200% fine with it personally.

Seriously though, he's your brother. Back him. Fuck your folks. He's probably better off. Unless they're rich then your parents and sister don't need to know. Why? Because there is no need for them to know because knowing causes upset.

Just so long as he isn't flamboyant and posts of Facebook constantly about his homosexuality I am 200% fine with it personally.

 

 

Why would that matter?

#LOUDANDPROUD

#LGBT

 

You have to gain acceptance, that means being  comfortable  with yourself. It's a process. Coming out is difficult, it shouldn't be but it is. And getting acceptance is of utmost importance!

[STRMfrmXMN]

Sad to hear you live around homophobes... They make me sick...

I think if you explain to your family in terms they might understand (Jesus made him that way ma!) then they might go for it.

Or don't. Lots of people don't come out because they don't feel like they're ready. 

 

I'm a proud GSA member (I'm the S in the GSA) and hope that you can convince your family otherwise though. Hopefully, homophobes will trickle out of existence. I can invalidate every single argument any homophobe can put you through if you want some advice. Here's a few...

 

"Two men/two women can't reproduce": Women can through bone marrow and a bit of science. Man can adopt. At the rate we're going with our population though, we may very well reproduce ourselves into a dystopia.... Seriously, 7 billion people and you're saying that the fact that a couple can't reproduce is a problem?

 

"It's not what God wanted": I'm not religious sort of person, but I do know that most religions are based upon some sort of moral goodness. You can tell them that God created him that way and that he has no choice. If they say "yeah it's a choice!" explain to them that, if it were a choice, millions of people wouldn't choose to be gay. Why? Well, doesn't the thought of constantly being thrown around as an "abomination to God and society" sound ideal? What about marriage rights, a basic human right that all people are entitled to? Plenty of places don't allow gay marriage yet. So, if they had a choice, they would be straight, because they could then be "human."

 

"Gays aren't human:" Check what's under the belt real quick. Check with a doctor too. I believe you'll find that they are extremely human.

 

"Being gay is a choice:" As explained above, it is not. A sane person would not "choose" to be gay. 

 

I've got a few more....

[techswede]

Also i just noticed your profile pic.. It's freaking me the hell out 

[EricX2]

Even if it is true, if he wants to keep it a secret that's up to him. Definitely don't snoop to try to find evidence, that won't help anything. Unfortunately you probably just have to wait.

[beebskadoo]

Thanks dude, tbh, I was hoping you would reply because you know (like you said), you're an expert. I think I'll just let it sit, but how does it feel to be gay? Do you feel any sort of attraction to women? Can you appreciate a good woman? Sorry about this, I just wanna know

hahaha umm

 

I like Dick, that's really it

 

And how does it feel?

[Guest Kloaked]

MMHMM *snaps fingers*

 

I just pictured you as an independent black woman who don't need no man

[Snickerzz]

hahaha umm

 

I like Dick, that's really it

 

And how does it feel?

only if your letting a horse mount you

[beebskadoo]

only if your letting a horse mount you

no  just no...

[beebskadoo]

I just pictured you as an independent black woman who don't need no man

[xox]

Just so long as he isn't flamboyant and posts of Facebook constantly about his homosexuality I am 200% fine with it personally.

 

 

Why would that matter?

#LOUDANDPROUD

#LGBT

 

You have to gain acceptance, that means being  comfortable  with yourself. It's a process. Coming out is difficult, it shouldn't be but it is. And getting acceptance is of utmost importance!

To be fair to him, I was sitting in front of this guy in this university assembly yesterday and all he was saying was "he's so fit" under his breath about this guy from the university of Newcastle, if I sad that about a really pretty woman, that would not be ok. However, since he is gay, it's somehow acceptable. Also, I don't get the whole voice change thing; I wouldn't employ someone who has put on a wierd nasal voice, so just why? idk how to feel about this.

[beebskadoo]

To be fair to him, I was sitting in front of this guy in this university assembly yesterday and all he was saying was "he's so fit" under his breath about this guy from the university of Newcastle, if I sad that about a really pretty woman, that would not be ok. However, since he is gay, it's somehow acceptable. Also, I don't get the whole voice change thing; I wouldn't employ someone who has put on a wierd nasal voice, so just why? idk how to feel about this.

People can't admire the attractiveness of another individual? hmm that's news to me.

 

What are you talking about voice change thing?

[brownninja97]

-snip

Ok so i might be able to help out, kinda similar situation where my best friend is gay, is declared it early this year. Honestly it scared the shit out of me at first but then i realised that it doesn't make much of a difference, ive been friends with the guy since i was like 6, nothing could push us apart so a change of sexual preference shouldn't do much. I believe what i did next was the correct thing for me to do and will probably for you. Make sure that you understand the situation, you need a man to man talk about the situation but dont sound incriminating while you are at it. Treat them the same as if you didn't know, it doesn't matter if you make a gay joke or call someone a faggot be yourself, the last thing they want is for the people to change their ways because of them. Just be yourself, I know thats a hard thing to do in a situation like this but if you do things right fate will pretty much run its course and your life will continue  normally.

[xox]

People can't admire the attractiveness of another individual? hmm that's news to me.

 

What are you talking about voice change thing?

Well, I can't admire a woman publicly and obnoxiously without being called a sexist, so why should a gay person be able to do just that?

Also, the pronounced nasal voice is what I'm talking about. I hate homophobia, but I don't get the voice, it intrigues me.