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EXTREMELY Dark Jokes

Mao_Zedong
By Mao_Zedong
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First off, a warning: if you are uncomfortable with very dark jokes, leave now; these jokes may offend you and/or make you uncomfortable. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now that you have been warned, I'll start with mine;

what breaks when you give it to a baby?

their hips

post your dark jokes below

how overpriced is alienware? 2.0   htc one m8 review    anker mouse review   razer kraken pro review   lenovo yoga 11s review   how overpriced is alienware?

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That joke was...not funny enough to not be disturbing. 

 

Whats the difference between Jack Daniels and General Custer?

General Custer stopped killing Indians years ago.

muh specs 

Gaming and HTPC (reparations)- ASUS 1080, MSI X99A SLI Plus, 5820k- 4.5GHz @ 1.25v, asetek based 360mm AIO, RM 1000x, 16GB memory, 750D with front USB 2.0 replaced with 3.0  ports, 2 250GB 850 EVOs in Raid 0 (why not, only has games on it), some hard drives

Screens- Acer preditor XB241H (1080p, 144Hz Gsync), LG 1080p ultrawide, (all mounted) directly wired to TV in other room

Stuff- k70 with reds, steel series rival, g13, full desk covering mouse mat

All parts black

Workstation(desk)- 3770k, 970 reference, 16GB of some crucial memory, a motherboard of some kind I don't remember, Micomsoft SC-512N1-L/DVI, CM Storm Trooper (It's got a handle, can you handle that?), 240mm Asetek based AIO, Crucial M550 256GB (upgrade soon), some hard drives, disc drives, and hot swap bays

Screens- 3  ASUS VN248H-P IPS 1080p screens mounted on a stand, some old tv on the wall above it. 

Stuff- Epicgear defiant (solderless swappable switches), g600, moutned mic and other stuff. 

Laptop docking area- 2 1440p korean monitors mounted, one AHVA matte, one samsung PLS gloss (very annoying, yes). Trashy Razer blackwidow chroma...I mean like the J key doesn't click anymore. I got a model M i use on it to, but its time for a new keyboard. Some edgy Utechsmart mouse similar to g600. Hooked to laptop dock for both of my dell precision laptops. (not only docking area)

Shelf- i7-2600 non-k (has vt-d), 380t, some ASUS sandy itx board, intel quad nic. Currently hosts shared files, setting up as pfsense box in VM. Also acts as spare gaming PC with a 580 or whatever someone brings. Hooked into laptop dock area via usb switch

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such dark, much blackness, wow

~New~  BoomBerryPi project !  ~New~


new build log : http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/533392-build-log-the-scrap-simulator-x/?p=7078757 (5 screen flight sim for 620$ CAD)LTT Web Challenge is back ! go here  :  http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/448184-ltt-web-challenge-3-v21/#entry601004

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari?

 

 

I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

CPU: i7 3770k@ 4.6Ghz@ 1.23v - GPU: Palit GTX 660ti - MOBO: Asrock Extreme 4 - RAM: Corsair vengeance 8GB 1600Mhz - PSU: OCZ 650watt - STORAGE: 128Gb corsair force GT SSD/ 1TB seagate barracuda 7200rpm

                                                                                         COOLING: NH-U14s/ 3x Noiseblocker blacksilent pros/ Silverstone Air Penetrator/ 2 corsair AF120s

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari?

 

 

I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

I can't eat a ferrari.

Case:Define R4 | MOBO:ASRock z75 Pro 3 | CPU:i7-3770k 4.0GHz | CPU Cooler:H100i | GPU:970 Strix | RAM:Hyper X 16GB | 


Peripherals:ATH-M50x Limited Blue Edition | K95 RGB | M65 RGB | Blue Yeti MIC | (3x)1920x2080 Acer Monitors


 

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So dark, it stole a television.

"How hard can it be?" - Jeremy Clarkson

"Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you." - Jeremy Clarkson

 

"There's an old saying that God exists in your search for him. I just want you to understand that I ain't looking." - Leslie Nielsen

 

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How many black people does it take to start a riot?

-1

 

It's not that black though.

i5 4670k @ 4.2GHz (Coolermaster Hyper 212 Evo); ASrock Z87 EXTREME4; 8GB Kingston HyperX Beast DDR3 RAM @ 2133MHz; Asus DirectCU GTX 560; Super Flower Golden King 550 Platinum PSU;1TB Seagate Barracuda;Corsair 200r case. 

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What role does a baby have in a soccer field?

 

 

 

 

 

He's the ball

Don't ask to ask, just ask... please 🤨

sudo chmod -R 000 /*

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So dark, it stole a television.

Clarkson would be proud.

Ketchup is better than mustard.

GUI is better than Command Line Interface.

Dubs are better than subs

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From reddit

What's the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?

Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.

 

muh specs 

Gaming and HTPC (reparations)- ASUS 1080, MSI X99A SLI Plus, 5820k- 4.5GHz @ 1.25v, asetek based 360mm AIO, RM 1000x, 16GB memory, 750D with front USB 2.0 replaced with 3.0  ports, 2 250GB 850 EVOs in Raid 0 (why not, only has games on it), some hard drives

Screens- Acer preditor XB241H (1080p, 144Hz Gsync), LG 1080p ultrawide, (all mounted) directly wired to TV in other room

Stuff- k70 with reds, steel series rival, g13, full desk covering mouse mat

All parts black

Workstation(desk)- 3770k, 970 reference, 16GB of some crucial memory, a motherboard of some kind I don't remember, Micomsoft SC-512N1-L/DVI, CM Storm Trooper (It's got a handle, can you handle that?), 240mm Asetek based AIO, Crucial M550 256GB (upgrade soon), some hard drives, disc drives, and hot swap bays

Screens- 3  ASUS VN248H-P IPS 1080p screens mounted on a stand, some old tv on the wall above it. 

Stuff- Epicgear defiant (solderless swappable switches), g600, moutned mic and other stuff. 

Laptop docking area- 2 1440p korean monitors mounted, one AHVA matte, one samsung PLS gloss (very annoying, yes). Trashy Razer blackwidow chroma...I mean like the J key doesn't click anymore. I got a model M i use on it to, but its time for a new keyboard. Some edgy Utechsmart mouse similar to g600. Hooked to laptop dock for both of my dell precision laptops. (not only docking area)

Shelf- i7-2600 non-k (has vt-d), 380t, some ASUS sandy itx board, intel quad nic. Currently hosts shared files, setting up as pfsense box in VM. Also acts as spare gaming PC with a 580 or whatever someone brings. Hooked into laptop dock area via usb switch

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  • Author

I just remembered another one;

I saw a black man carrying a tv, and i thought it was mine; but when i got home, it was there, shining my shoes.

how overpriced is alienware? 2.0   htc one m8 review    anker mouse review   razer kraken pro review   lenovo yoga 11s review   how overpriced is alienware?

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Warning: really racist joke...that I heard from a black guy oddly enough. Still confused whether I was supposed to laugh or not. Awkward. 

 

If a black guy and a mexican jump off of the a roof at the same time, who hits the ground first? 

Who cares

 

muh specs 

Gaming and HTPC (reparations)- ASUS 1080, MSI X99A SLI Plus, 5820k- 4.5GHz @ 1.25v, asetek based 360mm AIO, RM 1000x, 16GB memory, 750D with front USB 2.0 replaced with 3.0  ports, 2 250GB 850 EVOs in Raid 0 (why not, only has games on it), some hard drives

Screens- Acer preditor XB241H (1080p, 144Hz Gsync), LG 1080p ultrawide, (all mounted) directly wired to TV in other room

Stuff- k70 with reds, steel series rival, g13, full desk covering mouse mat

All parts black

Workstation(desk)- 3770k, 970 reference, 16GB of some crucial memory, a motherboard of some kind I don't remember, Micomsoft SC-512N1-L/DVI, CM Storm Trooper (It's got a handle, can you handle that?), 240mm Asetek based AIO, Crucial M550 256GB (upgrade soon), some hard drives, disc drives, and hot swap bays

Screens- 3  ASUS VN248H-P IPS 1080p screens mounted on a stand, some old tv on the wall above it. 

Stuff- Epicgear defiant (solderless swappable switches), g600, moutned mic and other stuff. 

Laptop docking area- 2 1440p korean monitors mounted, one AHVA matte, one samsung PLS gloss (very annoying, yes). Trashy Razer blackwidow chroma...I mean like the J key doesn't click anymore. I got a model M i use on it to, but its time for a new keyboard. Some edgy Utechsmart mouse similar to g600. Hooked to laptop dock for both of my dell precision laptops. (not only docking area)

Shelf- i7-2600 non-k (has vt-d), 380t, some ASUS sandy itx board, intel quad nic. Currently hosts shared files, setting up as pfsense box in VM. Also acts as spare gaming PC with a 580 or whatever someone brings. Hooked into laptop dock area via usb switch

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how do you get 20 babies into a bathtub,

a blender

how do you get them out again

doritos

I prefer to freeze them, put them in a blender, and pour in tequila

Ketchup is better than mustard.

GUI is better than Command Line Interface.

Dubs are better than subs

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lel! everyone on this thread is getting so banned!  :lol:

my joke is fine :P doesnt break coc

I prefer to freeze them, put them in a blender, and pour in tequila

tried too hard

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lel! everyone on this thread is getting so banned!  :lol:

I doubt it, there was a warning at the beginning; there is a small chaise that I will be warned, but i doubt even that will happen.

 

now for a joke;

how do you make a plumber cry?

you kill his family

how overpriced is alienware? 2.0   htc one m8 review    anker mouse review   razer kraken pro review   lenovo yoga 11s review   how overpriced is alienware?

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lel! everyone on this thread is getting so banned!  :lol:

It think I am fine. And they would not ban active forum members. KAPPA we'll see

REMEMBER TO QUOTE SO I GET A NOTIFCATION! Add me on Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/Shroomster/ Review(s) more to come

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how do you get 20 babies into a bathtub,

a blender

how do you get them out again

doritos

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

 

 

 

Depends how hard you throw them.

CPU: i7 3770k@ 4.6Ghz@ 1.23v - GPU: Palit GTX 660ti - MOBO: Asrock Extreme 4 - RAM: Corsair vengeance 8GB 1600Mhz - PSU: OCZ 650watt - STORAGE: 128Gb corsair force GT SSD/ 1TB seagate barracuda 7200rpm

                                                                                         COOLING: NH-U14s/ 3x Noiseblocker blacksilent pros/ Silverstone Air Penetrator/ 2 corsair AF120s

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Shield thine eyes if thou art easily offended.

110213-yves-guillemot-chief-executive-an

:P

Ketchup is better than mustard.

GUI is better than Command Line Interface.

Dubs are better than subs

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