Do you think a person can be happy alone?

[Nineshadow]

You could always imagine people with you if you wanted.

And if you lack imagination...well...there's drugs for that.

[Jogostar]

You could always imagine people with you if you wanted.

And if you lack imagination...well...there's drugs for that.

so what you're saying is, drugs are your friends?

you will be a great teacher.

[Nineshadow]

so what you're saying is, drugs are your friends?

you will be a great teacher.

Nah.

They can be friends to very depressed persons though.

Kinda sad.

[NInety]

Eh, I guess you could, but you can't beat the feeling of being with a loved one.

[Camul]

I've been in my room all alone without any friends of relationships for 2 years now.

You get used to it, I'm not really happy, but i'm also not sad. 

I was hoping for more than that in life, but tbh I would love to feel nothing at the moment. Everyday is fucking horrible. I don't think having someone there to be with would make all of my problems seem like nothing, but it would make everything a lot easier.

 

I would say no, everyone needs least few really good friends

I thought as much. I have friends, but I never see them in real life, and they show no desire at all to do so. That's what I need. I don't mind having friends that I can only talk to online or whatever, but when it's the only thing that I have then it's not enough for me. Despite being socialy awkward and having had severe social anxiety for as long as I can remember, I need social interaction in real life with people I like.

 

It makes me wonder what's the point in that though. Even if I had friends in real life again I wonder how long it would take before I was miserable again? I wouldn't have a bf, and that's what I need more than anything.

 

I would say yes because I am that person. 

If I were always alone, I'd be happy because I can interact with myself. It's not the same as interacting with other people, but it covers the need to interact with someone just fine. 

In fact I find more often than not, I prefer my own company over other's. Just because I can't even begin to understand how to have a relationship with someone else when that other person is so foreign to me. 

It's complicated, but I say the answer is yes.

 

I used to be the same way. I could sit in a dark room for hours and be alone with my thoughts, and I was fine with that. It was only when I met people that I actually prefered spending time with that I realised how shitty it was being by myself. I wish I could go back to how things were.

[Camul]

People can be happy like that but that will only be the case if they truly are happy with what they have and don't want anything from other people. I am not trying to peer into your life but it sounds as if that isn't the case with you (although I could be completely wrong). If I am right though, no you won't be happy and you need to fight to get the relationships you need in your life. You will only be unhappy if you give up and that means getting out and trying to be social . Never give up for things you stride for.

No, you were correct in assuming that I'm not happy with what I have or that I want things from other people. I don't think I'm a selfish or self centered person though. The only thing I want from people is for them to be there in my life. There are a lot of barriers to me getting along with people. There are too many that cannt be broken down for me to be in a relationship, but I find making friends very difficult too. I don'tt know if it's just the way I think, but I have a very difficult time relating to almost everyone, which is why all of my friends are people that are broken, becuase they are the only people I can really seem to connect with. Everyone else I can get along with, but I find it very difficult to even keep a conversation with them. I don't know why it is exactly.

 

There's a difference between being alone, and being lonely.

I've always been a more "alone type" of guy. I got lots of friends, and go out often (weekly) with them. But I prefer to be alone. I don't feel lonely, so I don't feel sad.

 

It all comes down to who you are. Some people need others around them all the time, others don't. My sister would go insane if she doesn't have human interaction for 2 days, and I'm completly the opposite.

Oh and also, the "never be in a relationship" thing. You'll find someone. I've known people who were unattractive, anti-social and barely had any friends, and who've been in a relationship for 2 years + now.

 

Self confidence is key. And being good with words is always useful

 

Quick edit: If you don't feel good about yourself you may want to try something else? Go to your hairdresser and ask for a new haircut, let him/her go ham. Change your clothing style, go shopping with some friends/a fashion aware sister, ... There are so many things you can do to improve your self confidence + how others see you  Go sport, you'll meet lots of people. Join those youth organisation things (in Belgium teens join those just to drink beer and party ). 

Yeah, I guess I should have made it clear that I do feel lonley, I never thought that you could really feel anything else being alone thought tbh. Getting into a relationship would be near impossible, and even if I found someone that would put up with all of my problems, who would say I'd even care for that person? I admire optamism like that, but the truth is there isn't someone for everyone.

 

There's also this weird problem that I have with my appearance. I hate it, but any time it changes I hate it even more and it makes me feel a lot worse about it, so I don't even try with that anymore. Not that much could be done with my hair now. My hairline has gotten pretty bad. As for clothing, I don't think I dress bad, but I really don't know anything about it, so idk. I know I really don't suit wearing a shirt.

 

You can be perfectly happy without a mate, but you would need a very elevated state of mind to be able to experience true happiness completely alone.

I'm miles away from having a rational state of mind, let alone elevated.

[Camul]

Some people probably good, but most probably couldn't.

 

I know I'll live alone without a gf, but I'll have friends. I don't think I will get depressed because of this. There is a completely other different thing that gets me depressed, that I'll have to live with for the rest of my life. I know it'll never go away.   It's so damn difficult!!

I know how you feel about living with shit that you know will never go away. From the outside it probably looks like my problems are trivial, but they fucked everything up. Anything you want to talk about?

[AlwaysFSX]

If you have a hand, you will always be able to be happy alone.

[ZacDaMan72]

You get used to it.

[smjpl]

No, you were correct in assuming that I'm not happy with what I have or that I want things from other people. I don't think I'm a selfish or self centered person though. The only thing I want from people is for them to be there in my life. There are a lot of barriers to me getting along with people. There are too many that cannt be broken down for me to be in a relationship, but I find making friends very difficult too. I don'tt know if it's just the way I think, but I have a very difficult time relating to almost everyone, which is why all of my friends are people that are broken, becuase they are the only people I can really seem to connect with. Everyone else I can get along with, but I find it very difficult to even keep a conversation with them. I don't know why it is exactly.

 

Mate you need to put down the keyboard and get out. Would you think about volunteering somewhere or doing something in a social environment that benefits others? It really is surprising how giving your time and effort to teach or help others (kids/animals/homeless/elderly) can bring you out of your own shell and give you a new outlook. I know this is the typical answer you're always going to hear but hell; it has to be better than scrolling over the same webpages over and over. If you can become happier with yourself, you'll be surprised how much easier having relationships with other people can be. You will also form relationships more naturally. If you try go out with the sole intention of trying to form relationships, you will find it very difficult. You are trying to force something that is meant to come naturally. But if you go out with a completely different intention, you will find you'll form relationships naturally. 

 

Just remember burying your head in the sand is only going to make the problem ten times worse and there is always an alternative option. Never believe you have only one option.

[SeriouslyMikey]

Being someone who is rather solitary, and has been for three years now and only gets out when I am going snowboarding or riding my bike, even then, it is with no one. It's not a life, at least for me. Nothing really good comes from sitting on your arse all day, playing games and working from home. Mainly from the huge boredom that ensues after very little time. 

Go with what @smjpl has said. In the past few weeks that is all I have done, forced myself out and tried to meet people. Really does make you wonder why you'd spend most the day inside and alone.

[LifesCompanion]

Look, go make some friends, talk to them, play games, etc. do shit you want to do with them. 

 

If you get sad because you don't have a bf/gf, go masturbate away your tears, and don't be salty over some bad relationships or some shit.

[Recon97]

I am 17,got no friends and not even relationship and I am happy.I don't wish to make friends or to be in a relationship because I got other cool things to do so I had that going for me which is nice.

Because I am gonna change the world later.

[Ruostunut kokis]

Look, go make some friends, talk to them, play games, etc. do shit you want to do with them. 

 

If you get sad because you don't have a bf/gf, go masturbate away your tears, and don't be salty over some bad relationships or some shit.

Umm... Quick question: How does someone make friends? Is there a guide somewhere?

[smjpl]

I am 17

 

Your perspective will change over time. Life doesn't stay like it is when you are 17. Not even close!

[Bansh33]

Your perspective will change over time. Life doesn't stay like it is when you are 17. Not even close!

Totally agree

[LifesCompanion]

Umm... Quick question: How does someone make friends? Is there a guide somewhere?

 

Idk man, it just sorta happens.... (worst response); buckle up Ruos, because you're now going to read a poorly written response: 

 

I have this bro from high school (border line gay; we've been asked whether we're a gay couple a few times) and we never talked before met during year 9ish.

But for some reason, we instantly got along (had a few classes with him) and we've been bro's ever since. 

 

There's no guide as to how to make friends, or shit like that. It varies between person to person and things just happen. 

You will make friends if you go to social events that cater to you (LANs, parties, school, uni, etc.) but the one's you'll (hopefully) cherish for a very long time are the ones you don't know why you get along so well with. 

Me and the bro I mentioned earlier, quite often talk about how we have no fucking clue why we ended being best friends, but hey, we did. 

[Vitalius]

I used to be the same way. I could sit in a dark room for hours and be alone with my thoughts, and I was fine with that. It was only when I met people that I actually prefered spending time with that I realised how shitty it was being by myself. I wish I could go back to how things were.

Yeah. I got that way once. But then those people moved on in life and I was still where I was. I'm different in that I guess. 

[Ruostunut kokis]

Idk man, it just sorta happens.... (worst response); buckle up Ruos, because you're now going to read a poorly written response: 

 

I have this bro from high school (border line gay; we've been asked whether we're a gay couple a few times) and we never talked before met during year 9ish.

But for some reason, we instantly got along (had a few classes with him) and we've been bro's ever since. 

 

There's no guide as to how to make friends, or shit like that. It varies between person to person and things just happen. 

You will make friends if you go to social events that cater to you (LANs, parties, school, uni, etc.) but the one's you'll (hopefully) cherish for a very long time are the ones you don't know why you get along so well with. 

Me and the bro I mentioned earlier, quite often talk about how we have no fucking clue why we ended being best friends, but hey, we did. 

Hmm... When it comes to socializing... High school students don't mind me, unless I'm listening to their conversations and trying to get in them. I mean, I can talk to some people quite a bit, but the rest is just, maybe we can exchange just a few words, and that's it. I have trouble getting into groups (those were the psychologist's words quite exactly), no-one really accepts me to any friend groups, I can hang around in some groups while they're having conversations, playing cards, whatever, but I can't really get to be part of them. No-one really sees a reason why they should befriend me, I'm mostly just ignored.

 

And when it comes to my home village... Well... Way over 50% of the teenagers here bully me for no reason (except maybe just for their own fun), so socializing here is not an option. And getting into huge LAN events, conventions etc.... I can't afford that. I guess I'm just stuck with High school students if I want to talk to somebody, and only in there: no-one wants to contact me in any way outside of school.

[DigitalHermit]

Umm... Quick question: How does someone make friends? Is there a guide somewhere?

 

2 words: Human Transmutation

[LifesCompanion]

Hmm... When it comes to socializing... High school students don't mind me, unless I'm listening to their conversations and trying to get in them. I mean, I can talk to some people quite a bit, but the rest is just, maybe we can exchange just a few words, and that's it. I have trouble getting into groups (those were the psychologist's words quite exactly), no-one really accepts me to any friend groups, I can hang around in some groups while they're having conversations, playing cards, whatever, but I can't really get to be part of them. No-one really sees a reason why they should befriend me, I'm mostly just ignored.

 

And when it comes to my home village... Well... Way over 50% of the teenagers here bully me for no reason (except maybe just for their own fun), so socializing here is not an option. And getting into huge LAN events, conventions etc.... I can't afford that. I guess I'm just stuck with High school students if I want to talk to somebody, and only in there: no-one wants to contact me in any way outside of school.

If some people are giving you shit, punch those fuck boys.

 

At uni, while I do have a bunch of people I talk to, I won't go out of my to talk to them outside of uni. 

I even spend some days alone (apart from tutorial discussions and what not) and I'm fine with that. 

Don't let it get to your head, accept the fact that you won't magically make friends, you'll make them over the course of your life - some you forget, others you don't.

 

Try to not get depressed about friends and shit, there's more to life (side note: I had depression last year and oh yeah, it's bad. Everything becomes horrible and I ended up doing some pretty sure stupid shit to go through it, plenty of alcohol, weed and cigarettes were consumed - I've quit smoking now). 

If you have some form of income, how about saving up and going on a one month group trip to over seas? From what I've heard, you meet loads of awesome people and it's just awesome overall. 

[Ruostunut kokis]

If some people are giving you shit, punch those fuck boys.

 

At uni, while I do have a bunch of people I talk to, I won't go out of my to talk to them outside of uni. 

I even spend some days alone (apart from tutorial discussions and what not) and I'm fine with that. 

Don't let it get to your head, accept the fact that you won't magically make friends, you'll make them over the course of your life - some you forget, others you don't.

 

Try to not get depressed about friends and shit, there's more to life (side note: I had depression last year and oh yeah, it's bad. Everything becomes horrible and I ended up doing some pretty sure stupid shit to go through it, plenty of alcohol, weed and cigarettes were consumed - I've quit smoking now). 

If you have some form of income, how about saving up and going on a one month group trip to over seas? From what I've heard, you meet loads of awesome people and it's just awesome overall. 

First point: so... You think it's wise to go assaulting my bullies, which there is over 30 of them at least, and they move in groups of at least 3 other guys, never alone. I would get into legal trouble damn quickly, and if not that, they'd beat the living shit out of me, even kill.

 

I was depressed for few years between 6 - 8 grades in middle school, I got to frequent psychologist's meetings as I had self-destructive thoughts. Never did I fall into using drugs (I'm an absolutist), and I likely won't in the future.

 

My only income is like 20€ or so that goes to bus tickets and snacks to eat if I happen to be hungry in school. And beyond that I get 100€ monthly studying support. Plus I'm still 17 years old, so not travelling anywhere anytime soon. I can't even get out of this village more frequently than maybe once per 3 months (except for school, as I study in High school that's in other village not too far away). To be fair, I have never traveled abroad in my life, ever.

[exyia]

the thought that everybody will eventually find somebody is a completely delusional. Be realistic - there are plenty of people in this world that reach their end (by whatever cause) without "finding someone". Expecting that everybody expires with a loved one holding their hand is just a fairy tale. Some people just are alone and will die alone.

 

But even with that fact, it's 100% up to yourself as to whether you are one of those people. There's a huge difference between being content "alone" and using the above fact as an excuse for being lonely. If it's the latter, you only have yourself to blame - go out and/or get help if you need too.

[Ramzez]

Answer to the OP's question is somewhat complicated. Some people manage very well without having multiple friends and a relationship. BUT, I haven't met anyone who truly would want to be alone for years to come. Sometimes this might indicate the person have had some setbacks in social relations and now feels like he/she could do without them, since they only seem to cause harm and no good. People like this should still remember that we humans are social in nature and we need some interaction with other people.

 

There are also people who think that everything they need, is a healthy relationship. Someone to love. No friends needed. However this could turn out to be disastrous to the relationship. Relying someone so strongly can not only destroy the relationship but can also make you very depressed if the relationship ends. And if there's no one to listen and support you, it's that much harder. Unfortunately some can't handle it.

 

I would strongly recommend having at least some type of relationships with other people. You don't have to be best friends with everybody but having good acquaintances can't do any harm. And I would also deeply think about being voluntarely "forever alone". You don't want to wake up some day and realize that you have lived your whole life without ever loving anyone.