Posted November 21, 2022 Sitting alone during downtime during another 12hr (not including lunch) night shift sometimes gets me staring into nothing while inside something's screaming at the darkness. Once I get tired of mentally screaming I grab my mind and shove it back on task to something productive. ....AAAAAND with that heavy thought, I'm curious, what situations or life choices make you scream internally at nothing in particular or something purely metaphysical? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Posted November 21, 2022 Part of my schizoaffective disorder is the unshakeable belief people can read my mind. So I test that in my head all the time. 20 years in now and not one peep from anybody...not even from a troll at this point. It keeps me hoping it'll stop one day With all the Trolls, Try Hards, Noobs and Weirdos around here you'd think i'd find SOMEWHERE to fit in! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Posted November 21, 2022 3 hours ago, SimplyChunk said: Part of my schizoaffective disorder is the unshakeable belief people can read my mind. So I test that in my head all the time. 20 years in now and not one peep from anybody...not even from a troll at this point. It keeps me hoping it'll stop one day I knew you'd say that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Posted November 21, 2022 There was this guy... I swear I saw him do this... Spoiler https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_NQIT0Sdb-U Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Posted November 21, 2022 32 minutes ago, Holmes108 said: I knew you'd say that. Nice try With all the Trolls, Try Hards, Noobs and Weirdos around here you'd think i'd find SOMEWHERE to fit in! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Posted November 21, 2022 Have you tried holding a gentle conversation with teh void? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Posted November 22, 2022 20 hours ago, RealBACONATOR2 said: Have you tried holding a gentle conversation with teh void? Sometiems teh void gets sad, too, and could use a friend. 3: "Don't fall down the hole!" ~James, 2022 "If you have a monitor, look at that monitor with your eyeballs." ~ Jake, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Posted November 22, 2022 On 11/21/2022 at 9:30 AM, PineyCreek said: ....AAAAAND with that heavy thought, I'm curious, what situations or life choices make you scream internally at nothing in particular or something purely metaphysical? I suffer with Bipolar disorder and going through the most awful patch for the last few months. Normally I just wait for it to pass but right now it's dragging on. It get's scary when I am indifferent to my existence. I am not happy or sad, just completely indifferent to the entire idea of life and where thing's are going. Feel's like there is nothing Infront of my or behind me. Just a void. CPU: Ryzen 5900x | GPU: RTX 3090 FE | MB: MSI X470 Gaming Pro Carbon | RAM: 32gb Ballistix | PSU: Corsair RM750 | Cooler: Sythe Fuma 2 | Case: Phanteks P600s | Storage: 2TB WD Black SN 750 & 1TB Sabrent Rocket | OS: Windows 11 Pro & Linux Mint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Posted November 22, 2022 Author 4 hours ago, solado said: I suffer with Bipolar disorder and going through the most awful patch for the last few months. Normally I just wait for it to pass but right now it's dragging on. It get's scary when I am indifferent to my existence. I am not happy or sad, just completely indifferent to the entire idea of life and where thing's are going. Feel's like there is nothing Infront of my or behind me. Just a void. Is it active nihilism at play or more of an apathetic existential crisis? Consider the Japanese philosophy of mono no aware (物の哀れ). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Posted November 22, 2022 1 hour ago, PineyCreek said: Is it active nihilism at play or more of an apathetic existential crisis? Consider the Japanese philosophy of mono no aware (物の哀れ). Mostly poor mental health, I start to believe the government has installed cameras in my apartment in order to catch me doing something. I also end up with hallucinations people are talking to me from the other room and it's as real as an intruder breaking into your house. Get's exhausting after the 3rd month of trying to stay sane, eventually just give up and become extremally apathetic to existing. CPU: Ryzen 5900x | GPU: RTX 3090 FE | MB: MSI X470 Gaming Pro Carbon | RAM: 32gb Ballistix | PSU: Corsair RM750 | Cooler: Sythe Fuma 2 | Case: Phanteks P600s | Storage: 2TB WD Black SN 750 & 1TB Sabrent Rocket | OS: Windows 11 Pro & Linux Mint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Posted November 25, 2022 On 11/22/2022 at 1:57 PM, solado said: Mostly poor mental health, I start to believe the government has installed cameras in my apartment in order to catch me doing something. I also end up with hallucinations people are talking to me from the other room and it's as real as an intruder breaking into your house. Get's exhausting after the 3rd month of trying to stay sane, eventually just give up and become extremally apathetic to existing. Have you tried speaking with a mental health professional? Seems like this is something that can be helped with the right kind of therapy. "Don't fall down the hole!" ~James, 2022 "If you have a monitor, look at that monitor with your eyeballs." ~ Jake, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Posted November 25, 2022 10 minutes ago, Sarra said: Have you tried speaking with a mental health professional? Seems like this is something that can be helped with the right kind of therapy. Yeah I have done for a few years, Mostly I can't shake the feeling they're only there because there is a monthly salary at the end of it for them, take away the money and you wouldn't have anyone caring enough to help you. I tried medication but they basically tranquilized me and slept 14 hours a day, I was too tired to move but said it was a good sign because I was too tired to cause harm to myself or others. I am a very physically active person and addicted to exercise so it wasn't a viable route to take. So these days I mostly wing it on my own. CPU: Ryzen 5900x | GPU: RTX 3090 FE | MB: MSI X470 Gaming Pro Carbon | RAM: 32gb Ballistix | PSU: Corsair RM750 | Cooler: Sythe Fuma 2 | Case: Phanteks P600s | Storage: 2TB WD Black SN 750 & 1TB Sabrent Rocket | OS: Windows 11 Pro & Linux Mint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Posted November 25, 2022 4 minutes ago, solado said: I tried medication but they basically tranquilized me and slept 14 hours a day, I was too tired to move but said it was a good sign because I was too tired to cause harm to myself or others. I am a very physically active person and addicted to exercise so it wasn't a viable route to take. So these days I mostly wing it on my own. Yeah, medications can be super duper hit or miss. I avoid them myself as much as I can, I hate how they can effect me mentally, and I especially hate being tired from meds. Worst part is getting meds that have a 'warning! Can cause excitability!' label plastered on them, that when I take them, put me to sleep. o.x Good luck, either way. Stay safe. "Don't fall down the hole!" ~James, 2022 "If you have a monitor, look at that monitor with your eyeballs." ~ Jake, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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