What's Your Favourite Joke Program / Script?

[maplepants]

Hello World Enterprise Edition is one of my favourite things on GitHub. I used to write Java professionally, but I think even if you haven't you'd like the joke. There are also many, many excellent comments on it. 

 

This isn't the only joke program / code out there though, so what are some of your favourites? 

[SimplyChunk]

I had a virus back in the day that would pop my CD tray out and make a raspberry sound at random intervals

[RockSolid1106]

A year ago I made a bat script to run on my dad's computer. Essentially it says "Upgrading to Windows Vista. DO NOT shut down the computer."

And then just continues on there until it reaches 100%, when it just stops.

 

I ran it on his PC when he went to get water, and really did panic there..

 

Script:

Spoiler

@echo off
cls

set /A i = 0
set /A a = 0
set /A b = 1
set c = --
set d=-
set s=                                                                                                   
set /a e=10
set /a f=20
set /a g=40
set /a h=60
set /a i=80
set /a j=90
set /a k=100
title Upgrading to Windows Vista
:start
cls
set /A a =%a% + %b%
if %a%==100 goto end
set c=%c%%d%
echo Upgrading to Windows Vista. DO NOT shut down the computer.
if %a% LSS %e% (echo Checking your system %a%%%)
if %a% LSS %f% if %a% GEQ %e% (echo Gathering necessary files %a%%%)
if %a% LSS %g% if %a% GEQ %f% (echo Installing new features %a%%%)
if %a% LSS %h% if %a% GEQ %g% (echo Upgrading %a%%%)
if %a% LSS %i% if %a% GEQ %h% (echo Installing updates %a%%%)
if %a% LSS %j% if %a% GEQ %i% (echo Finishing up %a%%%)
if %a% LSS %k% if %a% GEQ %j% (echo Almost done %a%%%)
echo [%c%%s%]
set s=%s:~1%
timeout /T 1
goto start

                                 
:end
echo 100%
echo [%c%%s%]
echo Done!
pause

 

I made it a while back when I didn't have much idea of how code is written. Not that I have much of it now either.

 

[Video Beagle]

Back in college I had a program to install on macs in the dorm computer labs. It was a client program, then I'd have the master program on my computer...and when I wanted I could make the Energizer Bunny with Steve Martin's face (I don't know why..I didn't make it) just go marching across the screen.

 

13 minutes ago, SimplyChunk said:

I had a virus back in the day that would pop my CD tray out and make a raspberry sound at random intervals

there was a program (also for the mac) that would make a vomit sound when you ejected the floppy disk.

[maplepants]

10 minutes ago, Video Beagle said:

there was a program (also for the mac) that would make a vomit sound when you ejected the floppy disk.

Customising all of your sounds to be wacky stuff was *the* way to customise your Mac during the Classic Mac OS days. Just like every early 2000s Gnome user had their favourite Compiz effects, every early 2000s Mac user I know had some custom sound that they always used on their machine.

[Levent]

I used to do a MITM attack in the highschool network and replace all images served on the network with something else. Of course things have changed since then and everything is HTTPS nowadays. Then there was also ipv6 RA flood, where I could take down the entire school network in couple of seconds. Latter got me banned from university network for a month before I finally made friends in the IT department.

[maplepants]

2 hours ago, Levent said:

I used to do a MITM attack in the highschool network and replace all images served on the network with something else. Of course things have changed since then and everything is HTTPS nowadays. Then there was also ipv6 RA flood, where I could take down the entire school network in couple of seconds. Latter got me banned from university network for a month before I finally made friends in the IT department.

There was a real golden age for these kinds of pranks. 

A guy in my dorm ran an "upsidedownternet" without a password, and he did get a few people a week attempting to use it.

 

I am quite glad that HTTPS is now the standard everywhere for basically every website, but part of me misses joke web proxies like this.

[PaulCam]

On 6/13/2022 at 9:20 AM, maplepants said:

Hello World Enterprise Edition is one of my favourite things on GitHub.

LOL.  https://github.com/EnterpriseQualityCoding/FizzBuzzEnterpriseEdition

lolcat in unix is fun.

 

On windows, making a folder on the desktop called "D0nk3y Pr0n", taking a screenshot, setting it as desktop background and deleting the folder is a classic.

[maplepants]

34 minutes ago, PaulCam said:

LOL.  https://github.com/EnterpriseQualityCoding/FizzBuzzEnterpriseEdition

lolcat in unix is fun.

 

On windows, making a folder on the desktop called "D0nk3y Pr0n", taking a screenshot, setting it as desktop background and deleting the folder is a classic.

That whole project is excellent! Especially Issue #432

Quote

Request from CFO:

Hi I work for the CFO he has requested you add machine learning to this so we can use it to predict Q4 sales. He has a youtube video on his computer that explains what he wants.
It needs to be done before Monday so he can present it to the board.
Many thanks