What would you do?

[Rappalores]

I honestly don't know if this is the best place to talk about this and ask for advice, but I need some place to vent. I'll try to keep it as accurate and as easy to read as possible. Before I start with my problem and it's backstory I need you to know I am not that good with people, I lack certain soft skills and have a hard time to determine if something was meant to be serious, ironic, sarcastic. Just a disclaimer so you can keep this in the back of your head.

 

So there's this guy, let's call him Tim. I got to know him 2 years ago when I was playing Team Fortress with another friend of mine, Bob. Since then we played on a near daily basis. He always was a bit derogatory but I never thought much of it because we all have a bad manner, so to say. More than once he was being quite a dickhead but again, I didn't think much of it because I am a dickhead pretty often as well (at least that's what I think, read on to understand how I mean that). He spoke bad about Bob and his girlfriend, despite them knowing each other since primary school. He was affronting, often freaking out badly but shrug it off as "having a bad day". We quarreled a lot too, but I put it off as banter.

 

Fast forward some months Tim moved into his own flat. He said he was tired of his mum and not being able to live life his way and I asked him about how he managed to get it done, because it's not that easy after all. He just told me "yea you just... go and do it, it's so easy, where's the problem?" and when I said that wasn't really helping it escalated into a fiasco of insults and shouting. I'm still living home with my parents and sometimes they would come into my room and ask for a favour to be done while I was playing. He was so pissed about that whenever it happened. I had to mute my headset at some point because my dad was in my room still and Tim started talking stuff like "why don't you just smack that dumbass and tell him to fuck off". I honestly don't mind it that much, if they could only realize one can not pause an online game. Anyway, whenever my parents spoke one word in the background he'd be pissed and ask me to tell them to shut up. He always wanted me to drop everything when he was free to play. If not, he'd get mad and throw insults at me again and again. At one point He messaged me a "fuck you you piece of shit" and blocked me and deleted my number because I was not respoding to him. I was not even home. I sometimes quit the Voice-call without saying something like "bye" and he would be furious about it and ask me to "show some fucking respect", but ironically he never did that too.

 

He constantly tries to make me feel bad about something I did, probably because I appear like some "weakass pussy" to him (his words once). I just never really talked back because I hate arguing and being mad at each other for nothing but a dick measuring contest of who acts more like a man, or nonsense, if you get what I mean. It appears to me that he tries to push me into a certain corner of behavior, trying to break my will. But after all, he is one of a few that interact with me. I never had it easy in regard of making friends, or keeping them. It might seems absurd, you might ask yourself why I didn't cut the contact with him, but I guess you just wouldn't understand. I think I am a bit afraid of him, he has my adress, my phone number, he knows how I look like and he also knows a lot of personal information and "secrets".

 

I talked with Bob about how Tim was and still is behaving and he told me it was annoying him quite a bit too but he didn't feel like starting an argument about it as well. He suggested giving him some time because he sometimes had a phase like this before, but I think I've waited more than often enough and long enough. I want to close this with a very fresh example of what happened this week. Every saturday he has his girlfriend over, so he is not available in the evening. He also told me he wasn't home Friday as well so I made plans to meet up with one friend to have a small party. Guess who messages me 10 minutes before I leave. Yea, it's Tim and he says he would be home and immediately invited me to a game. I just switched off my PC and went to my friend's place. This morning then, I see a message by him. "Where did you go?" and I told him I had made other plans because I thought he wasn't available. His response was a reproachful "today then?". We agreed on a time before his gf would be over, who's not there? Him. So I mind my own business, he suddenly messages me and asks if I have time to play. Told him I was doing something else and wished him a nice night with his girlfriend. "Shoot yourself you waste of DNA".

 

You see, I think it's pretty obvious this guy is bad company, but at the same time I don't really know what to do. After writing all of this my opinion shifted, but it's still not enough to get rid of him. I would be alone otherwise.

 

 

[Beef Boss]

Well, from what you posted (please don't get angry, I'm only basing off of what you posted because that's all I know), he obviously seems like a bad guy and I know it will be very hard to stop talking to one of the few people who talk to you. But, you shouldn't keep trying to patch a friendship like this.

 

I had two friends I only knew online, I had such a great time with them. I played with them all the time, and we all had banter. But one day, one of them snapped. Me and the other guy tried making friends with the one who snapped. But every attempt failed, and I got so sick of my friends fighting I told them both to just stop fighting. Although I only had these two people that would talk to me day in and day out, the arguments and insults were too much and I ended up leaving both of them. 

 

You seem young, so I'll tell you this... Just because you're scared of someone, scared of what they might do in anger, is not something that you should be controlled by. Those people I played with knew everything about me, a lot of stuff I never would have told anyone else. Yes I was scared leaving them, because I didn't know what they'd do. But just because you only have a few friends to talk to doesn't mean they have control of your life and what you want to do. 

 

There are tons of players online who could make good online friends. 

[8uhbbhu8]

Get rid of him. He's no good to you. No reason to be any good to him. Save yourself from that headache.

[Tog Driver]

I'd have to agree with everyone else, if he says for you to kill yourself he obviously doesn't like you very much, would you want the only person you talk to to be terrible or would you rather not talk to anyone? It is of course your choice but I wouldn't want to hang out with a living YouTube comment.

[Tog Driver]

I Thought about this more, I have been on a few online communities, not as much as others, but a bit, one thing I've learned is some people just like pushing others around, "Tim" sounds like he just enjoys insulting people, but most people will just leave or something which Only leaves you to insult, I think this will continue until you stop talking with him.

But only you can decide that.

[Rappalores]

Thanks for your heads-up guys. Dealt with the problem.