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Need some relationship advise/life advise

I just left my girlfriend of 4.5 years 24 hours ago. I loved her for so long and recently I thought I stopped loving her when my crippling depression came back. I left her so I can kill myself. I genuinely plan to lay my head on a railroad track and wait for a train to come by and kill me. But now that I left her my heart and mind doesn't want to die anymore, I just want to be back with her. She is my world, or was my world. Should I stay away from her and save her from myself or should I chase after her? 

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I'd advise you to go and see a professional. 

PC Specs - AMD Ryzen 7 5800X3D MSI B550M Mortar - 32GB Corsair Vengeance RGB DDR4-3600 @ CL16 - ASRock RX7800XT 660p 1TBGB & Crucial P5 1TB Fractal Define Mini C CM V750v2 - Windows 11 Pro

 

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Don't wait even one minute, seek professional help and go talk to someone.  

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Get help, not from this forum, but from a professional.

Ryzen 5 1600 @ 3.9 Ghz  | Gigabyte AB350M Gaming 3 |  PaliT GTX 1050Ti  |  8gb Kingston HyperX Fury @ 2933 Mhz  |  Corsair CX550m  |  1 TB WD Blue HDD


Inside some old case I found lying around.

 

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This is a tech fourm.

PC Specs:

CPU: Intel Core i7-12700K 3.6 GHz 12-Core
CPU Cooler: Corsair iCUE H150i ELITE CAPELLIX 75 CFM Liquid CPU Cooler
Motherboard: Asus ROG STRIX Z690-E GAMING WIFI ATX LGA1700
RAM: Kingston FURY Beast 32 GB (2 x 16 GB) DDR5-5200 CL40
Storage: Boot Drive: Samsung 960 Evo 250GB M.2 NVMe SSD

               Other Storage: Mass Storage: Western Digital Caviar Blue 1TB 7200 RPM, Western Digital Caviar Blue 2TB 5400 RPM, Scratch Disk: Intel X25-E SSDSA2SH032G1 32GB SATA II SSD, Backup Drive: Seagate ST3160318AS 160GB HDD
GPU: Asus GeForce RTX 3080 Ti 12 GB ROG STRIX GAMING OC
Case: Corsair 5000D AIRFLOW ATX Mid Tower
PSU: Silverstone Strider Platinum S 1000 W 80+ Platinum Certified Fully Modular ATX
OS: Windows 11 Pro 64-Bit
Monitors: Primary: Samsung S34E790C 34" 3440*1440 60 Hz UWQHD; Secondary: LG 34UM58-P 34" 2560*1080 75 Hz UWFHD; Tertiary: BenQ GL2460 24" 1920*1080 60 Hz FHD

Keyboard: Corsair K70 Mk. 2 RGB Gaming Keyboard - Black

Mouse: Corsair M65 Pro RGB FPS Gaming Mouse - Black, Logitech MX Master 3

Headphones: Corsair VOID PRO Surround Cherry 7.1ch

Speakers: Logitech Z213 7W 2.1ch

 

Laptop:

Asus Zenbook Pro 15 (UX535Li-E2018T) with Intel Core i7-10750-H 12MB @ 2.60GHz (Turbo @ 5.0 GHz), 16GB (2 x 8GB) DDR4 2933 MHz SODIMM and Intel(R) UHD Graphics; NVidia Geforce GTX 1650-Ti with Max-Q Design, using WDC NVMe PC SN730 SDBPNTY-1T00-1102, on a 96-Wh battery

 

NAS Specs:

Make & Model: QNAP TS-1277

CPU: AMD Ryzen 5 1600 @Stock

Hard Drives: x8 WD Red 2TB

SSDs (2.5"): x1 Samsung 850 Evo 250GB V-NAND (cache drive)

M.2 SSDs: None

RAID Configuration: RAID 6 (excluding SSD)

Total Storage: 12TB

Expansion Cards: None

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Yeah I think that about covers it.  No one here is properly equipped to solve this for you so please seek someone who is

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