What are some of the funniest costumer reviews you've read?

[xrex64]

I was reading a review for a mechanical keyboard I just got. All I had to do was plug it in and I was good. This isn't all that funny but it's just an example. Made me lol on the inside. 

 

[Freaky_spider]

its about this http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041

 

 

My girlfriend and I just love this cookbook. She takes care of the actual cooking part and I am responsible for gathering the ingredients. We were delighted to find the ethnic food sections and are exploring the Asian cuisine this week. I gotta tell you though the Cream of Sumyoungguy is not for the faint of heart. It called for 1/2 cup of the err, special sauce. She said it was divine but honestly, I was just too tired to eat.

UPDATE: So it's been several months and I need to update my review. Because the book doesn't have any specific disclaimers I think it's important that readers be warned of potential issues... The first "issue" I experienced was Forearm Imbalance. My co-workers started noticing that my right forearm was considerably more defined and at least 3/4" larger than my left forearm. It's not like Popeye big but it's still pretty embarrassing. I tried some, shall we say, "load balancing" by switching arms for the collection process but my I find my left arm is just inattentive, always in a hurry and not tuned into my needs. Inevitably, I have to switch back to the right arm to get the job done.

The second "issue" is I have recently been diagnosed with Low T. Now, I'm not gonna come right out and say this book as caused my condition but darn it, if there were health risks with gathering ingredients for this book there needs to be a warning label. I mean, even my aspirin bottle says "Do not exceed xx number of pills per day." Can you -overcook- with this cookbook? We need to demand answers. I was extremely close to investing in a food truck and taking some of these dishes (and a few I came up with) to work sites and carnivals all over my state. I had already lined up several work-from-home employees to supplement my ingredient supply line. I just can't in good conscience ask these young men to work 6, 7, 8 hours per day if there is even the slightest chance of adverse effects.

So the bottom line is this: Use this book with caution. Use your head(s). Moderation in all things.

 

 

 

 

 

also this

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003HKQFCC?ie=UTF8&camp=213733&creative=393177&creativeASIN=B003HKQFCC&linkCode=shr&tag=shopfaster0c-20&=electronics&qid=1374601133&sr=1-1

 

Had to choose between these and a Death Star. Next time I'd go with the Death Star. Sound quality is ok for the $$, but I would have liked to have witnessed the firepower of a fully armed and operational battle station.

[naca1227]

Amazon reviews are really funny when it comes to things that are $10000 up and not practical.

[xrex64]

its about this http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041

 

 

My girlfriend and I just love this cookbook. She takes care of the actual cooking part and I am responsible for gathering the ingredients. We were delighted to find the ethnic food sections and are exploring the Asian cuisine this week. I gotta tell you though the Cream of Sumyoungguy is not for the faint of heart. It called for 1/2 cup of the err, special sauce. She said it was divine but honestly, I was just too tired to eat.

UPDATE: So it's been several months and I need to update my review. Because the book doesn't have any specific disclaimers I think it's important that readers be warned of potential issues... The first "issue" I experienced was Forearm Imbalance. My co-workers started noticing that my right forearm was considerably more defined and at least 3/4" larger than my left forearm. It's not like Popeye big but it's still pretty embarrassing. I tried some, shall we say, "load balancing" by switching arms for the collection process but my I find my left arm is just inattentive, always in a hurry and not tuned into my needs. Inevitably, I have to switch back to the right arm to get the job done.

The second "issue" is I have recently been diagnosed with Low T. Now, I'm not gonna come right out and say this book as caused my condition but darn it, if there were health risks with gathering ingredients for this book there needs to be a warning label. I mean, even my aspirin bottle says "Do not exceed xx number of pills per day." Can you -overcook- with this cookbook? We need to demand answers. I was extremely close to investing in a food truck and taking some of these dishes (and a few I came up with) to work sites and carnivals all over my state. I had already lined up several work-from-home employees to supplement my ingredient supply line. I just can't in good conscience ask these young men to work 6, 7, 8 hours per day if there is even the slightest chance of adverse effects.

So the bottom line is this: Use this book with caution. Use your head(s). Moderation in all things.

Lol. This other comment was on the same article.

 

"It's like a party in my mouf and everyone is invited! Who needs piles of pineapple with this book around? Although my grocery bill is down, my lotion bill has trippled."

[orangecat]

I love it when people leave a 1 star because it got damaged in shipping or they misconfigured something and it broke. its not the products fault its user error sometimes and they are too stupid to realise.

[FloRolf]

there are some funny "reviews" of a swiss pocketknife on amazon. Unfortunately they are all in german so they wouldnt be too funny for you guys

 

(Its basically a knife with around 20 functions buy the reviewers are all like it had around 3000 including death star lazers and shit ^^)

 

Edit: Some of the english ones may be funny aswell, heres the knife lol

http://www.amazon.com/Wenger-16999-Swiss-Knife-Giant/dp/B001DZTJRQ/ref=sr_1_26?ie=UTF8&qid=1384807266&sr=8-26&keywords=wenger+swiss+army+knife

[Bluejay0]

its about this http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041

 

 

My girlfriend and I just love this cookbook. She takes care of the actual cooking part and I am responsible for gathering the ingredients. We were delighted to find the ethnic food sections and are exploring the Asian cuisine this week. I gotta tell you though the Cream of Sumyoungguy is not for the faint of heart. It called for 1/2 cup of the err, special sauce. She said it was divine but honestly, I was just too tired to eat.

UPDATE: So it's been several months and I need to update my review. Because the book doesn't have any specific disclaimers I think it's important that readers be warned of potential issues... The first "issue" I experienced was Forearm Imbalance. My co-workers started noticing that my right forearm was considerably more defined and at least 3/4" larger than my left forearm. It's not like Popeye big but it's still pretty embarrassing. I tried some, shall we say, "load balancing" by switching arms for the collection process but my I find my left arm is just inattentive, always in a hurry and not tuned into my needs. Inevitably, I have to switch back to the right arm to get the job done.

The second "issue" is I have recently been diagnosed with Low T. Now, I'm not gonna come right out and say this book as caused my condition but darn it, if there were health risks with gathering ingredients for this book there needs to be a warning label. I mean, even my aspirin bottle says "Do not exceed xx number of pills per day." Can you -overcook- with this cookbook? We need to demand answers. I was extremely close to investing in a food truck and taking some of these dishes (and a few I came up with) to work sites and carnivals all over my state. I had already lined up several work-from-home employees to supplement my ingredient supply line. I just can't in good conscience ask these young men to work 6, 7, 8 hours per day if there is even the slightest chance of adverse effects.

So the bottom line is this: Use this book with caution. Use your head(s). Moderation in all things.

 

 

 

 

 

also this

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003HKQFCC?ie=UTF8&camp=213733&creative=393177&creativeASIN=B003HKQFCC&linkCode=shr&tag=shopfaster0c-20&=electronics&qid=1374601133&sr=1-1

 

Had to choose between these and a Death Star. Next time I'd go with the Death Star. Sound quality is ok for the $$, but I would have liked to have witnessed the firepower of a fully armed and operational battle station.

 

I love cooking but I will never pick that shit up....

[Freaky_spider]

http://www.amazon.com/Passion-Natural-Water-Based-Lubricant-Gallon/dp/B005MR3IVO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1384807037&sr=8-1&keywords=55+gallon+lube

 

I knew getting back in the "dating game" would be a challenge after being out of it for over 5 years. When I was released from Joliet, I had to learn all the new things "the dating crowd" was trying. I knew about scented candles and Luther Vandross CDs, and sure was glad to hear people still use them. But I had no idea that "lube" was so popular with the "romantics" out there. All it took was one stroll through the Walgreens personal hygiene aisle to prove I had to learn a new thing.

"Where to start?", I wondered. I wanted something simple. However, all I saw in the stores were lubricants that were flavored with cinnamon and paprika, or designed to somehow "heat" your private parts. No way, Jose! (I experienced the "heat" thing personally once after an adventurous incident with a toaster. I'll stick with "room temperature" from now on, thank you very much.)

Luckily, I found a plain, old-fashioned lubricant that would not make me smell like a dessert topping. And it came in this HUGE tub! No more awkward late-night Walgreens runs for me, once I could get my hands on this lubricant bin. Now, I admit the price tag was kinda hefty. But after selling the ol' Pontiac Sunfire and borrowing some cash from Aunt Gladys, I was "ready to place my order."

The product only took a week to arrive, and got to my apartment just in time for my first real "date" since the gas station incident. You can bet I was nervous for this one. When I got off the bus to meet Carla in front of the Chili's, I just about had a heart attack! The only thing keeping me calm was knowing that I could not possibly run out of lube that night. I gave Carla a reassuring nod and smile, as if to say "Don't worry, Carla, I have plenty of lubricant for later."

The dinner was great, and after knocking back a couple Mojo Mango Margaritas, we were ready to head back to my apartment. I winked and told Carla, "Let's SLIP on out of here," to see if she understood the lubricant lingo. I think she did. Throughout the bus ride back, I grinned and hummed Luther Vandross tunes to set the mood.

When we got to my place, I already had a candle burning. It was by "Glade", which I think you pronounce like the singer Sade, because it is an exotic candle that smells just like real pine. After we got comfortable, I asked Carla if she could help me with the lube. She looked at me weird, and I couldn't tell if it was because she thought it was "too soon" or because I was pushing a mechanical lift to get the drum barrel out of the storage closet.

So I "took the initiative", as women like men to do, and rolled the barrel out into the living room. "Ready to tap the keg?" I joked, and by "keg" I meant "55-gallon barrel of personal lubricant." She looked at me all shocked, and said "That's it, I'm out of here!" I asked why, since she didn't need to run to Walgreens for more lubricant - there was plenty right here. But she didn't answer, and got up to leave anyway. Then, as Carla was about to pass me and the barrel, she tripped on my dog Poochie and fell right into the lube barrel! The force of the impact downed the barrel and knocked its lid off, sending 55 gallons of water-based lubricant across my faux-hardwood floors.

Carla was completely drenched, and her momentum slid her to the front door - which she somehow managed to pry open with a pair of oven mitts. The last thing I knew, "No-Fun Carla" was screaming profanities and sliding down three flights of steps. I didn't pay much attention because I was too busy trying to salvage the lube. I managed to get about half of it back into the barrel - the other half probably seeped into Mrs. Pulaski's unit below me. I never bothered to ask if she appreciated the free gift of lubricant.

Anyway, despite my "user error", I was quite pleased with the product. These days it's hard to find 55 gallons of scent-free water-based lubricant, and you can find it right here at a discount rate! I had to give it only "4 Stars" because it didn't come with a lifting apparatus. I had to buy my own mechanical lift separately to haul the bin to my future "dates". So if you're ready for fun, "slide" on down to a high quality product at a bargain price!

 

 

this one is def worth the read!!!

[Guest]

edit: duplicate post sorry

[Osmium]

I love it when people leave a 1 star because it got damaged in shipping or they misconfigured something and it broke. its not the products fault its user error sometimes and they are too stupid to realise.

That is the worst. And it is basically the reason all HDDs get terrible reviews online.

[orangecat]

That is the worst. And it is basically the reason all HDDs get terrible reviews online.

Yea because you never hear about the guys who had a good experience.

[MrImnotMLG]

Any kind of expensive HDMI cable review. "It made my picture sharper." It made the colors pop more." "The images were faster." *face-palm* It's not analog. A digital signal will be interpreted the same way no matter what. You just wasted your money on a $1,000 cable to get the results from a $10 cable.