MSI GTX 1070 not recognized by Windows 10 because I can't update to version 1511

[MADAO]

My rig is stuck on Windows 10 version 10 (build 10240). I was troubleshooting for about 7 hours last night, but I couldn't find any way to get my Windows 10 build to update from 10240 to 10586 without reformatting my SSD. I bought a new MSI GTX 1070 Gaming X that I can't use until this is resolved.

Specs:
Windows 10 Pro ver 10 build 10240
Asus Maximus VI Formula
Intel i7 4770-K
MSI GTX 1070 Gaming X
Corsair Dominator 16GB 1866
SAMSUNG 840 SSD 500GB
Corsair AXi 1200

Just to knock the basics out of the way, it's definitely powered on and in a functioning PCI-E lane (I had a 770 and 660 in there recently) and DEFINITELY generating heat. It's also in a PCI-E 16x lane.

I've tried:

1) Updating my BIOS, chipset, bluetooth, wi-fi, lan, etc drivers (updating Windows fails)
2) Running sfc /scannow in an elevated command prompt (it completes successfully and says there are no corrupted files and updating Windows fails)
3) Running Dism /Online /Cleanup-Image /RestoreHealth and then rerunning sfc /scannow in an elevated command prompt (it completed successfully without any issues and updating Windows fails)
4) Using a script from Rahul that runs in an elevated command prompt to find and clear the Windows Update history/cache (it completed successfully without any issues and updating Windows fails)
5) Creating an ISO of Windows 10 build 1511 to install while keeping all files (updating Windows fails)
6) Using Windows Media Creation Tool to do the same thing (updating Windows fails)

I went to the following for my Windows 10 resources: https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/software-download/techbench

No matter what I do, I can't get Windows 10 to update to build version 1511

I can't update, so I can't use my new MSI Gaming X 1070.

Anyone got any ideas?

[Enderman]

I'm guessing this is because you upgraded to windows 10 instead of doing a clean install the proper way?

[MADAO]

I definitely upgraded from Windows 7 (regretfully) probably late last year or early this year.

[MADAO]

Is it illegal to bump? I'm dead in the water right now.