Life completely makes sense now.

[,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,]

I've been confused for a long time, trying to find out who I am. Ever since I've been a kid, if there were a lot of other kids at the BMX track I wouldn't go on it because I was afriad people would look at me and would think of me then I'd think of people judging me. I've always believed I'm a fucking retard, stupid, dumb and could never get things done. I would talk to people and seem confused, stupid which made me believe I had some form of autism. Computer stuff, I can explain through the forums, I can program and understand the code I'm writing but can't physically explain it to people because I would become confused which adds to my "I am fucking stupid" issue. I missed 112 days of class last year, I hate school. I can't make my self go, I can't get a hands-on job. Why? I don't know. I was confused and didn't know what was wrong for years. I knew I had something related to anxiety but didn't want to admit it. I can't talk to people, I have no friends. Literally no friends. 

 

Now I found out, just by googling for 10 minutes. I'm 99.9% sure I have severe social anxiety. Here is the weird part, my personality completely kill this, kills me and stress sets in. I love being #1, I love having attention on me. I used to be worshiped by internet fags for a long time and I loved it. I love the fame, I love fame altogether but social anxiety doesn't. It doesn't want eyes on me, I can't have eyes on me and I become torn into multiple pieces. I become sad and depressed because of this. Some days I'm two people which adds to my  other "I'm fucking autistic" and "stupid" issue. This keeps cycling and going in uncontrollable circles. My grammar is bad and social skills are terrible, things keep getting worse.

 

Today, I missed school. I signed up for summer school and this is the third day, already missed. Why? Because I was late the other two day which is my fault but the teacher makes ignorant comments as to why I'm late, therefore I couldn't deal with it. I can't deal with that. Why am I late? Simply due to I've had a bad sleep schedule as I was away in Washington. Been trying to fix it but when your sleep is messed up, it's really hard fixing it.

 

Anyway, now I know the issues. I understand who I am and why. Now how the shit tits do I fix this lol...

Hopefully this helps some people as I've been in the dark for years.

 

 I still feel like dying though since bad pills are the only way to fix this I guess...

[Toxic Tom]

Benzos

[minibois]

Hey,

 

It is great finding out what is 'wrong' with you and knowing why you are behaving in a way.

Try to not focus on how 'stupid' you are. Don't say you are stupid, because you are not. You just explain things differently from others. Seems like you can't explain things in real life because you want to say a lot of things at the same time (rather than keeping calm and explain something 1 by 1). You could try to improve on that.

 

But the thing is, don't think you're stupid. You're not. I know social anxiety is annoying, but not going to school and staying away from others is not the way to go about it.

Go to school, make some friends and talk to people. Just keep in mind you're not alone in all of this.  Not in real life and not on the internet.

 

I hope I at least gave you a bit of advice.

 

Regards,

Minibois

[,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,]

Benzos

 

That scares me, a lot.  I'm one of those people who won't take pills, drugs or drink because I believe I'm a retard. I can't hurt my brain using pills and drugs as I need all the brain power I can get. Also pretty scared to tell my parents this since it will be awkward. I'll see what I can do though, I'm willing to try them if it fixes me.

[,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,]

Hey,

 

 

It is great finding out what is 'wrong' with you and knowing why you are behaving in a way.

Try to not focus on how 'stupid' you are. Don't say you are stupid, because you are not. You just explain things differently from others. Seems like you can't explain things in real life because you want to say a lot of things at the same time (rather than keeping calm and explain something 1 by 1). You could try to improve on that.

 

But the thing is, don't think you're stupid. You're not. I know social anxiety is annoying, but not going to school and staying away from others is not the way to go about it.

Go to school, make some friends and talk to people. Just keep in mind you're not alone in all of this.  Not in real life and not on the internet.

 

I hope I at least gave you a bit of advice.

 

Regards,

Minibois

 

I know there are different forms but like, this is so severe to the point of I'm afraid to sit beside people and I'll think of them thinking of me and juding me 24/7 through the whole class. Am I smelly? Can they hear me breathing? Does my breath stink? Oh shit, I think I'm sweating do they see this? Do they see me shaking? Why are they looking at me? Oh wait, the teach just asked me a question. 

 

The issue with friends is, I just can't. Like for real, I can't go up to people. I can't talk to them unless they come to me but I'm scared they'll hate me. I wan't them to talk to me but I also don't want them too. I wan't to be left alone.

[minibois]

I know there are different forms but like, this is so severe to the point of I'm afraid to sit beside people and I'll think of them thinking of me and juding me 24/7 through the whole class. Am I smelly? Can they hear me breathing? Does my breath stink? Oh shit, I think I'm sweating do they see this? Do they see me shaking? Why are they looking at me? Oh wait, the teach just asked me a question. 

 

The issue with friends is, I just can't. Like for real, I can't go up to people. I can't talk to them unless they come to me but I'm scared they'll hate me. I wan't them to talk to me but I also don't want them too. I wan't to be left alone.

I have the same.

Can't go up to new people too and have the first described problem too. So not sure what to recommend for that..

I'm not even sure how to make friends ;-; it just happens sometimes I guess..

[,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,]

I have the same.

Can't go up to new people too and have the first described problem too. So not sure what to recommend for that..

I'm not even sure how to make friends ;-; it just happens sometimes I guess..

 

Yeah I've had friends before but they all left me probably due to my social skills. I fixed a guys laptop for free and he was my friend, we just don't really talk anymore or go anywhere. That's about it.

[ImBleu]

#PsychMajorToTheRescue

 

Severe Social Anxiety can still be diagnosed without fulfilling all criterion. As with many other Psychosocial Disorders you only need to meet a handful of the requirements in a span of roughly 2 weeks to be able to be diagnosed with the aforementioned disorder.

 

I wouldn't focus on labeling things though, research shows this can in most cases be destructive and counter-intuitive to fixing the issue at hand. I'd focus more on trying to overcome your intervening obstacles socially, I was a lot like you but I had the realization that I would go nowhere being shy and reserved. Small inches forward lead to big progress made down the line. Every. Step. Counts.

 

I'd also leave your trust only to sources like the DSM-IV / DSM-V and the ICD-10 though. Most websites spew bullshit.

[,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,]

#PsychMajorToTheRescue

 

Severe Social Anxiety can still be diagnosed without fulfilling all criterion. As with many other Psychosocial Disorders you only need to meet a handful of the requirements in a span of roughly 2 weeks to be able to be diagnosed with the aforementioned disorder.

 

I wouldn't focus on labeling things though, research shows this can in most cases be destructive and counter-intuitive to fixing the issue at hand. I'd focus more on trying to overcome your intervening obstacles socially, I was a lot like you but I had the realization that I would go nowhere being shy and reserved. Small inches forward lead to big progress made down the line. Every. Step. Counts.

 

I'd also leave your trust only to sources like the DSM-IV / DSM-V and the ICD-10 though. Most websites spew bullshit.

 

The thing is, if I didn't find out this was a thing and didn't think I had it then I'd be 100% sure I'm stupid and don't belong here. I try and try every day to overcome these issues, I've been exhausted for a long time. I am getting better. VERY small progress but its been 10 years since I noticed something was wrong and I have made almost no progress. Its effecting my life, I'm suppose to be graduated but still stuck in grade 11. I can't get a job because I'm too scared. I'm at the edge of giving up and don't know where I'm going. I feel like I don't belong here. I can't kill myself because I'm scared to purchase a weapon or tools to do so, otherwise I would have done it a long time ago. I hate admitting to that but it's true. Yes I understand suicide doesn't fix shit.

 

I've looked at all sources, I have all the symptoms even though I don't want to admit it. I hate it

[Ciccioo]

you already faced the fact that you have a problem and you're willing to work on it, so that's awesome to begin with.

 

try to talk to someone about it, like your parents or an older sibling or a psychologist. letting things out, talking to people can probably make you feel better.

 

as for social skill, it's also like a muscle. maybe you have a natural difficulty talking to people but on top of that you're also losing the habit of doing it, so when you have to talk it just doesn't work out as it should. this is nother reason why talking to someone you trust and feel good with is a good way to start moving things.

 

beware that "autistic" is not what you are, it doesn't define you, you're a guy with plenty of positive sides and you just found out a weak point you have. you have the power to acknowledge it and learn how to live with it.

 

you'll overcome this give it time and you'll get better, you will also get a better knowledge of yourself.

[Hubert Cumberdale]

Honestly if I were you I wouldn't try to use labels to diagnose your problems. You can't just be unhappy of your shortcoming but then say, it's all okay though because I actually have an axiety disorder. Don't just blame your problems on some imaginary disorder because that makes you feel better about yourself. Step up and actually do something about the issue at hand.

Get yourself on a good sleep schedule and go to class no matter what. Screw what your teacher thinks. She's just trying to make it through life just like everyone else. Who cares what she thinks. She will still teach you regardless of what she thinks of you. Get your life on track from there.

No one said it would be easy. Just do it.

Just because you don't like waking up in the morning and hate seeing your teacher doesn't mean you have social anxiety.

[,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,]

Honestly if I were you I wouldn't try to use labels to diagnose your problems. You can't just be unhappy of your shortcoming but then say, it's all okay though because I actually have an axiety disorder. Don't just blame your problems on some imaginary disorder because that makes you feel better about yourself. Step up and actually do something about the issue at hand.

Get yourself on a good sleep schedule and go to class no matter what. Screw what your teacher thinks. She's just trying to make it through life just like everyone else. Who cares what she thinks. She will still teach you regardless of what she thinks of you. Get your life on track from there.

No one said it would be easy. Just do it.

Just because you don't like waking up in the morning and hate seeing your teacher doesn't mean you have social anxiety.

 

It has been years, I have been unhappy for a long time. I have no friends, no one. I'm even prepared to never have a girlfriend or wife. I've been alone for 5 years now, all by myself. I don't feel better. I just feel a little happier because I know what I have and I fall into all the categories but what makes it worse is my personality. I've tried, every day to push myself. I become exhausted and can't do it. I sleep for 9 hours a day sometimes because I've pushed myself so long just to get up and go. I belive I've shortened my life span because of all this stress. I have no goals, no jobs, nothing. I just can't do it and have tried everything. I do bad in school because I keep thinking about the person next to me and everyone.

 

Its hard to explain, normal people won't understand. Its not just that I hate my teacher and don't like waking up in the morning. When I was a child I used to wake up at 6am every day and watch TV then go onto the computer. Here is a list of things that make be believe I have severe social anxiety.

 

- Cannot approach people.

- Confused when speaking to people, things come out oddly.

- 24/7 thinking what the person thinks about me in class.

- Stomach aces before social events all the time.

- I make anything social awkward.

- I FORCED myself to fix a girls laptop, awkward the whole time and almost no talking. I couldn't explain what I was going to do but I managed to repair the screen and get it working once again.

- Known something was very wrong but didn't know what it was for over 10 years since I was a kid. Made me unhappy, thought I was stupid.

- Can't go out on my own, my mom needs to be there such as taking me for a haircut.

- Can't do anything without someone, afraid to ask people for things.

- Literally thought I was autistic.

- Grammar and anything social is really bad.

- Few females approached me and wanted to talk, I brushed them off and said sorry then left the library.

- Afraid to present or do anything in front of others.

 

Once again I have forced myself every day and now I am worn out, defeated. I would rather kill myself then keep doing this every day. That is where I stand and I know it's completely a realistic issue because I feel it. Its like telling a blind man to see, I used to believe this shit was fake but now I see.

[Toxic Tom]

That scares me, a lot. I'm one of those people who won't take pills, drugs or drink because I believe I'm a retard. I can't hurt my brain using pills and drugs as I need all the brain power I can get. Also pretty scared to tell my parents this since it will be awkward. I'll see what I can do though, I'm willing to try them if it fixes me.

Talk to a doctor before you dismiss drugs entirely.

[Hubert Cumberdale]

It has been years, I have been unhappy for a long time. I have no friends, no one. I'm even prepared to never have a girlfriend or wife. I've been alone for 5 years now, all by myself. I don't feel better. I just feel a little happier because I know what I have and I fall into all the categories but what makes it worse is my personality. I've tried, every day to push myself. I become exhausted and can't do it. I sleep for 9 hours a day sometimes because I've pushed myself so long just to get up and go. I belive I've shortened my life span because of all this stress. I have no goals, no jobs, nothing. I just can't do it and have tried everything. I do bad in school because I keep thinking about the person next to me and everyone.

Its hard to explain, normal people won't understand. Its not just that I hate my teacher and don't like waking up in the morning. When I was a child I used to wake up at 6am every day and watch TV then go onto the computer. Here is a list of things that make be believe I have severe social anxiety.

- Cannot approach people.

- Confused when speaking to people, things come out oddly.

- 24/7 thinking what the person thinks about me in class.

- Stomach aces before social events all the time.

- I make anything social awkward.

- I FORCED myself to fix a girls laptop, awkward the whole time and almost no talking. I couldn't explain what I was going to do but I managed to repair the screen and get it working once again.

- Known something was very wrong but didn't know what it was for over 10 years since I was a kid. Made me unhappy, thought I was stupid.

- Can't go out on my own, my mom needs to be there such as taking me for a haircut.

- Can't do anything without someone, afraid to ask people for things.

- Literally thought I was autistic.

- Grammar and anything social is really bad.

- Few females approached me and wanted to talk, I brushed them off and said sorry then left the library.

- Afraid to present or do anything in front of others.

Once again I have forced myself every day and now I am worn out, defeated. I would rather kill myself then keep doing this every day. That is where I stand and I know it's completely a realistic issue because I feel it. Its like telling a blind man to see, I used to believe this shit was fake but now I see.

It's all in your head. Grow up and do something about it, don't go cry in a corner. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and do something crazy to get anywhere in life. Push yourself out of the confort zone.

[Delusional Phil]

- snippet - 

I'm no psychiatrist but I hope you will overcome your fear .

 

Here's an idea to break the routine : Have you tried sticky notes ? Try and write down that you want to talk to someone ( Preferably someone that you know for sure is nice and doesn't have alterior motives ...) and talk to them via Notes ... Explain your problems , maybe you'll get some advice ... Start with this question after you have shared your story : What do you think about me ? 

 

Also , don't kill yourself ...