Tell me your funniest joke

[Mentalguy]

In finite number mathematicians walk into a bar. The first asks for a pint, the second half a pint, the third a quarter...

 

The barman rolls his eyes and pours two pints.

im probably one of the only ones on here that will get this

[othertomperson]

im probably one of the only ones on here that will get this

 

Aaaand I ruined it with a typo ^^; No one saw that

[alby800]

Knock knock.

[AlwaysFSX]

im probably one of the only ones on here that will get this

If other people don't get this I will cry.

[DigitalHermit]

im probably one of the only ones on here that will get this

 

I got it...

 

OT:

There are 3 kinds of people in this world...

People who understand binary, people who can't understand binary, and people who never expected the 3 up there to be in hexadecimal.

[Mentalguy]

Knock knock.

*opens door* Oh hey Al, whats up?

[Stefanopolis]

ANTI-JOKES ALL THE WAY!

 

So an astronaut, a man wearing a horse outfit, and a man with a Miami Dolphins jersey walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What, is this some kind of stupid joke?"

 

(Didn't want to type all of this, so i got it off the webs:))

 

A Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head?" And the bartender says, "It's an interesting story. Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell it to you." 

So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round. The guy with the big orange head says, "Yeah, I'll bet you want to know the story, huh?" To which the man replies, "Sure, if you don't mind." 

The man with the big orange head sighs and says, "You know, I've gone over it in my mind a million times. Basically, it's like this: I was walking along the beach one day, when I stubbed my toe on something. I looked down, and there was an antique brass lamp. I picked it up and dusted it off a little -- when all of a sudden this enormous genie pops out! 

"The genie thundered, 'You have released me from my ten-thousand year imprisonment, and I am in your debt. I will grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude.' 

The man at the bar is agape. The guy with the big orange head continues: "So I said, 'Wow, okay. Well, my first wish is to be fantastically wealthy.' 

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And all of a sudden I have rings on my fingers and a crown on my head, and my wallet is full of money and a dozen ATM cards and the deed to a mansion in the hills -- I mean, I was loaded! 

"So I said, 'Amazing! Okay, for my next wish , I want to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.' 

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And the ocean parts, and out walks this gorgeous woman in this beautiful dress, and she takes my hand and we fall in love and the genie marries us right there. It was incredible. 

"The genie booms, 'You have one wish remaining.'" 

The man with the big orange head pauses and sips his beer. He says, "Now, you know, this may be where I went wrong. I wished for a big orange head. 

[Admire]

Im going to tell you the first joke I've learned.

 

With a slight adjustment to modernize and to make it understandable from a global point of view.

 

There is a room with a pokertable. Around the table sits a ghost, a monkey, a witch, and a banker from lehman brothers. There is a 100 dollar bill on the table. The light turns out and on again and the bill is gone!?!?!?!? Who took it?

 

It was the monkey, because there are no ghosts, there are no witches(I learned differently when I knew older) and Lehman brothers is out of business

 

 

 

I was 4, but amused me.

[eLucid]

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop...

[GamerDude]

What did the hurricane (or tropical storm) say to the coconut tree?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hang on to your nuts honey 'cuz this is no ordinary blowjob!