Why don't those motivational self help videos, books work?

[tanjackson]

We all came across those motivational self help videos, books on youtube. After watching those videos, I feel really motivated about life, but in reality I can't get anything done. What is the reason behind this? is there a study on this?

 

 

What is the true way to be motivated in life?

[Skipple]

There is a difference between motivation and discipline. Motivation is kick start. Get pumped. Get up. Get started. 

 

The question is can you keep doing it. Over and over again. Don't stop. Even when you feel like it, don't break. That's discipline.

 

Most people's issues are not due to a lack of motivation. Getting motivated is easy; it's fun, it's sexy. Having the drive to keep it going beyond that honeymoon period of initial motivation is the hard part. Have the discipline to stay motivated to is the part people struggle with. 

 

It's often said that motivation allows you to visualize the goal. Discipline is actually what gets you there. 

[emothxughts]

To sort of answer the topic title, it's because none of these are music by the metallic hardcore band Hatebreed. Their songs go infinitely harder than all self-help books combined.

[Stahlmann]

Getting motivated is easy. Discipline is what keeps you motivated. Luckily, discipline can be trained. Set realistic goals that you can reach in the short term. Seeing your progress is a very important thing to stay motivated and prevent burnout.

 

Importantly, you have to learn a very important thing: Nobody will go out of their way to help you if you don't even want to help yourself.

[Needfuldoer]

Sounds a bit like ADHD, or at least decision paralysis. Been there.

 

Unfortunately, those self-help books don't teach self-discipline.

[da na]

Unfortunately watching a video or reading a book might not help everyone. No two people are the same, your brain works very differently than the person next to you. If you are genuinely struggling with daily tasks I'd recommend talking to a trusted doctor - personally, I'm a lot better off for doing that. 

[WildDagwood]

It's a discipline thing, as others have mentioned.

 

On some level, you don't want to do the thing you think you do, which is why you don't. If you do some (honest) introspective thinking you'll likely discover some things about yourself you don't like. E.g. you tell yourself you want to work out more, but when it comes to it, you're fighting and bargaining with yourself on ways to get out of it or reduce it, or unwilling to make any sacrifices to accomplish it.

 

With discipline/dedication, you can eventually re-train your brain to get enjoyment out of things you previously didn't. Taking pride and enjoyment in the effort/process/act of bettering yourself (in almost any way, really) will train your body to release dopamine when you engage in activities you previously wouldn't have.

 

It starts with you though, not a book. At most, a book will help guide you in the process but not in accomplishing it.

 

Edit: The introspective thinking comment is meant to be generalized, not directed at you. It's something I feel most people don't do, or do often enough.

[jre84]

get the book NLP for dummies and thank me later. Alot of our programming is in the sub-conscious mind an it can be edited. change is simple but knowing what to say to your sub-conscious mind without proper knowledge is tough.

[tanjackson]

On 1/25/2024 at 12:50 AM, jre84 said:

get the book NLP for dummies and thank me later. Alot of our programming is in the sub-conscious mind an it can be edited. change is simple but knowing what to say to your sub-conscious mind without proper knowledge is tough.

 

Can you tell me more about NLP and how effective is it base on your experience, please?

[Caroline]

tbh it's just made to be a money sinkhole for depressed people that always read what they want to read, the "clickbait" of books so to speak.

 

On 1/23/2024 at 11:17 AM, tanjackson said:

What is the true way to be motivated in life?

In a nutshell? money. It won't "buy happiness" but hear me out, it is, if you look at the whole picture, in this system, money will always grant you a better life. If you have money -as in a stable income that's more than enough (that rules minimum wage out)- you have access to better education, better health insurance or quality hospitals, 3 or 4 meals a day depending on how much you eat, a decent roof over your head, even access to better jobs: with a good healthcare you look and feel good, wear fancy clothes and drive a decent car, therefore cause a good impression at most corporate environments, granting you better positions. If you're not constantly stressing over paying rent, moving on a yearly basis, making ends, losing your shitty job/jumping between them or eating once a day life will inevitably be better for you than for those who have a lower income.

When all of those worries are not present you can simply focus on better things like spending quality time with friends or family, marrying, raising kids, hobbies, sick gaming computers, whatever you like and enjoy, which motivates you to keep doing it.

 

You can have all the motivation and discipline in the world but still feel like crap because the context you're living in is crap. Not sure if you fully understand what I mean but in the end it's all in my magnus opus: Caroline's theory of socio-economic unfairness, or "how the poor spend more money than the rich in the context of hyperaccelerated consumerist societies". Unofficial title, I simply call it my manifesto. It hasn't been published yet as I need to polish a bit, it's well over 2000 A4 pages in a bunch of .doc files I've been writing for the last 4 years so it's a bit complicated to explain in a single forum comment, but I do talk about motivation and the use of emotions by political actors somewhere around chapter 9, we all have motivation, though it's often diluted by what surrounds you, whether that is temporary pleasures, people, toxic environments, mental health history, even food plays an important role in this believe it or not.

 

 

tl;dr books won't work in most cases

[tanjackson]

On 1/31/2024 at 4:18 PM, Caroline said:

tbh it's just made to be a money sinkhole for depressed people that always read what they want to read, the "clickbait" of books so to speak.

 

In a nutshell? money. It won't "buy happiness" but hear me out, it is, if you look at the whole picture, in this system, money will always grant you a better life. If you have money -as in a stable income that's more than enough (that rules minimum wage out)- you have access to better education, better health insurance or quality hospitals, 3 or 4 meals a day depending on how much you eat, a decent roof over your head, even access to better jobs: with a good healthcare you look and feel good, wear fancy clothes and drive a decent car, therefore cause a good impression at most corporate environments, granting you better positions. If you're not constantly stressing over paying rent, moving on a yearly basis, making ends, losing your shitty job/jumping between them or eating once a day life will inevitably be better for you than for those who have a lower income.

When all of those worries are not present you can simply focus on better things like spending quality time with friends or family, marrying, raising kids, hobbies, sick gaming computers, whatever you like and enjoy, which motivates you to keep doing it.

 

You can have all the motivation and discipline in the world but still feel like crap because the context you're living in is crap. Not sure if you fully understand what I mean but in the end it's all in my magnus opus: Caroline's theory of socio-economic unfairness, or "how the poor spend more money than the rich in the context of hyperaccelerated consumerist societies". Unofficial title, I simply call it my manifesto. It hasn't been published yet as I need to polish a bit, it's well over 2000 A4 pages in a bunch of .doc files I've been writing for the last 4 years so it's a bit complicated to explain in a single forum comment, but I do talk about motivation and the use of emotions by political actors somewhere around chapter 9, we all have motivation, though it's often diluted by what surrounds you, whether that is temporary pleasures, people, toxic environments, mental health history, even food plays an important role in this believe it or not.

 

 

tl;dr books won't work in most cases

This post is worth more than the Motivational channels on youtube. 

 

Money is worth 95% everything, but society always try to trick you to Not chase money so that they can get all the money and stay in power!!!!

[wasab]

Hm, check the marshmallows test. People who have this issue usually fail miserably on it. 

[ToboRobot]

On 1/22/2024 at 9:17 PM, tanjackson said:

We all came across those motivational self help videos, books on youtube. After watching those videos, I feel really motivated about life, but in reality I can't get anything done. What is the reason behind this? is there a study on this?

 

 

What is the true way to be motivated in life?

There is no magic.  You can't read a book and be a changed person.

Are you lazy?  No book or video will solve that.  You can't pay an influencer to take a course and not be lazy.  The solution to being lazy is not to be lazy and do stuff.

If you are depressed, seek help.  But there is no magic solutions to life that you can read in books or hear about in podcasts or videos on youtube.  You just gotta get up and live every day the best you can.

You say you can't get anything done.  Break your goals down into smaller tasks.  You don't build a house.  You build the foundation, then framing, then the roof, siding, etc....  Step by step.

[Caroline]

14 hours ago, tanjackson said:

This post is worth more than the Motivational channels on youtube. 

 

Money is worth 95% everything, but society always try to trick you to Not chase money so that they can get all the money and stay in power!!!!

Woah hold your horses though. The goal isn't to simply have money but to create more money out of what you already have by taking advantage of passive income, it depends on where you live but my goal where I am would be to invest in housing. Say I have $500K, I won't stack it at home and slowly spend it, no, I'd go and buy some apartments -prices aren't comically inflated as in the US where a single house costs more than that- and then put them for lease, because everyone needs a house right? there's constant demand for housing, that's passive income right there, and it'll keep flowing as long as there are tenants. There's also trust funds but they're not too trustworthy in my country so I'd rule them out and go for brick & mortar.

Where did the $500K came from? imagine I won the lottery. It's a made up scenario.

[Biohazard777]

Love how this thread turned into:

[VirusDumb]

Just like everyone said here motivation is useless and discipline is key, but I'm a procrastinator, and I also suck at being disciplined, but when deadlines are coming upto your ass it's not about motivation or discipline anymore, it's just do or die, and that has kept me quickly completing shit right before deadline with more efficiency than motivation or discipline ever gotten, I got a 91% overall in a really important exam after studying for only 2 months while my "disciplined" classmates maxxed out at 89% after studying for the whole year, thing is you dont need motivation if you really need to do something to survive or you're desperate enough