FPO's actual media list

[Guest]

There are 3 tiers

1. Must experience at least 1 time in your life OR you will not be wasting your time experiencing this at least once.

2. It's okay. I won't push you to it but if you're just looking for something, it's not bad.

3. Don't waste your time.

Spoiler

Tier 1. If you're only going to experience 5 media in your life, 5 movies from Must experience WILL be great no matter who you are.

Tier 2. If you like media & want some more media that isn't going to be bad, check these out.

Tier 3. Don't waste your time may have decent movies.

 

I can't list 5 tiers of movies getting too meticulous-it'll over complicate everything. No one wants to buy a 35.6297% decent car. Half-decent, good or exceptional. That's all people are interested in.

 

The list should really be

1. 11/10

2. 9/10+

3. Everything else.

 

My choices will be controversial. I HATE your favorite show.

I criticize series as a whole. If season 1 sucks, the show sucks. You need to watch season 1 before you get to super awesome season 10. I will go in order however. If season 1 is really good, I will rate it high but say "by season X, don't bother."

Every fault media makes counts against it. You can basically only mess up.

• Artificial game lengthening like "We didn't copy paste this part 4 times, what're you talking about?"
• False tensions "Oh no! He's dead... Oh wait now he's awake 3 seconds later. I'm SoooOo0O0o0oo happy =D"
• Good for the time is NOT equal to good for today. It's not 2001, CGI isn't an instant 100.

 

Spoilers will contain alphabetized TV Shows, Movies & games.

Miniseries like The Pacific are TV shows.

Spoiler

I have a few biases & interests to keep in mind.

1. Space, Sci Fi & the likes are my favourite.

2. Don't shower me like I'm a child to understand your message/themes. I can figure it out.

3. I LOVE grey areas. Either everyone's evil or no one is exactly good.

4. Love interests in non-love stories ruined so many great movies.

5. Cursing & sex can ruin media for me. I can't get past the 3rd episode of Game of Thrones because of how much sex there is. I can watch porn if I want to watch a montage of lewd material.

6. Comedy can ruin movies too; if you don't take a serious movie seriously, why should I watch your movie? I've eased up on how much I disapprove of comedy after watching some Marvel movies. I'll have to give some other movies second chances to sort them out. Namely Star Wars Episode 7 having a (dated) joke after a massacre...

7. Media is rated on its standalone merit. If I have to read some obscure book to get a reference, it hurts the media. Everything important should be attainable through the media UNLESS the purpose of the media was to purposely be incoherent. It's fairly easy to tell what is trying to be achieved.

 

I hope you enjoy my disapproval of media =D

 

[Guest]

Must See

 

TV Shows

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Generation Kill- a video creation following the writings a reporter had during the war in Iraq. A grounded experience of how soldiers behave on the battlefield & how was feels over an extended period of time.

Hotel Hell- Gordon Ramsey talks about real business & demonstrates productive management as well as comically insulting people. The show will get repetitive as it's mostly the same mistakes.

South Park- (Stop by season 17 or 18. The rest is okay...) Very satirical and downright disrespectful with its accuracy. Makes fun of society, stereotypes & creates imaginative vulgar sarcastic humor. There's also a south park movie from 1999 to watch too. The Ubisoft games are decent. Watch PewDiePie play them if you don't want to buy them.

Movies

Spoiler

A Knight's Tale- Watch one man change his stars in the Renaissance. No really, it's just a good historical fantasy movie.

American History X- When schools want to teach about prejudice, I feel this movie does it the best. Many schools show the movie "Crash." This movie shows a realistic Hero that doesn't want his fame. Well written, well made.

SPOILER!

Spoiler

The quote "Has anything you've done made your life better" around the 1 hour 30 minute mark is what the movie was leading up to. It shows the divide in society & everyone's strong thoughts, but until you think about that quote, it shows why your prejudice & actions are pointless.

 

this can seem to contradict my “I hate preachy movies.” This movie isn’t about why neo nazis are bad, it’s about why prejudice is bad under the mask of a hero who hates his merits. 

 

Video Games

Spoiler

Call of Duty Modern Warfare Trilogy- COD4, MW2, MW3 is a spectacular story driven FPS series. It has awesome set-pieces, streamlined action, multiplayer that makes you feel good & basically directed AAA games' goals for years to come.

Doom Series- The original 1993 is a great game that can be picked up quick & is tons of fun to play. 2016 is a fine re-imagining. If you play the original, I'd recommend the Brutal Doom mod to turn it up to 11. Some don't like Doom 3, I haven't beaten it so I cannot comment. Also, Doom Eternal is also pretty fun.

Ghost of a Tale- 3rd person adventure game. Music, graphics, adventure, story & an interconnected world. This is a master-piece developed by a single person.

Halo: The Master Chief Collection- The main 3 Halo games, Halo 3: ODST & Halo Reach have the story, and game play to back it up. If there were a perfect game series, this would be it.

Titanfall 2- When you have non-stop action for all your levels, freedom of movement, badass sounding guns & a 2 story tall fucking robot to beat the shit out of other giant robots, you can be sure, you're going to have a great time. Multiplayer is fun too! I scored this in a $5 sale & by god... This might go down as the best underrated AAA gem in recent times.

Wolfenstein: The Old Blood- On the heels of Wolfenstein: The New Order, the development team mastered & fully understood their game & what made it fun. This is a short 5~ hour game +/-, but by god, they made the game fun the whole time. Story is there... THAT'S IT as far as narrative is concerned. Good Graphics too.

Books

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Fifteen Hours- This is a bit of a niche book. If you like Warhammer 40,000 & specifically the Imperial Guard, & you're to terms with the older lore, this is a good book with little downtime. You see many aspects of what it's like being in the Imperial Guard. It's written decently, isn't long & is basic in grammar so it has a low bar to entry.

 

[Guest]

Just okay.

 

TV Shows

Spoiler

Ancient Aliens- Whether or not you agree with the statements, the show is funny & very interesting with how compelling the arguments are.

The Expanse- I'm 2 episodes in. The physics details are quite accurate HOWEVER... The plots are tainted with false tensions like a mobile game with microtransactions. Every 5 minutes there's some nonsense subplot false tension going on. It's not HORRIBLE but you can make the show 10-20 minute episodes and get more concentrated plot out of it.

Metalocalypse- The cartoon band is poorly animated but makes decent metal style music & a lot of unique jokes. (May drop in ranking)

Movies

Spoiler

30 Days of Night- Horror movie that takes place in Alaska. The people of this town must survive 30 days where Vampires are terrorizing the small town. Survival horror like.

Avengers & Marvel Movies (2006-2019+)- The latest movies (Thor Ragnarok, Infinity War, End Game) are by far the best. Some of the moderately earlier movies, the dialogue & story can be absurd. I will re watch the entire universe from the beginning to re-evaluate it.

Event Horizon- It's an interesting space horror movie. THAT'S IT. Pretty decent.

forbidden planet- interesting mystery film. Excellent plot progression, cool technology in the background without detracting from the plot. 

Harry Potter & Fantastic Beasts- They're quite good. I re-watched all the harry potter movies recently. The adventures are fun. They're just not jaw dropping. I highly recommend it but I don't ueber recommend it.

Incredibles- 1 & 2 are okay. Nice adventures, some comedy. Not worth re-watching.

Lego Movie- I did not stop laughing through the first movie's introduction because of all the jokes making fun of the consumer culture. SPOILER

Spoiler

"I am the president of the gas company & the world."

It was very creative with its storytelling but it's not worth re-watching. Additionally, the second felt like a 5th graders attempt at recreating the first movie's greatest aspects without the ability to be the first movie.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail- Decent comedy. It's random & absurd.

Overlord- WW2 Action horror (not scary) or thriller. Excellent sound design, graphics, and a great black lead. Will smith has always been a terrible actor. This guy, I want to see him lead in more movies. I don't want to get political, but I don't think we've given the talented black actors many opportunities to flex their acting skills in the spotlight. Stands out as a good "generic action movie." (That or I haven't seen any for a while & they're all this quality.)

Shutter Island- Investigators investigate a missing person on an insane asylum island. Interesting plot throughout.

West Side Story- Decent musical. Plot won't win any emmys but it's entertaining throughout.

The music is well thought out. Watch this YouTube video after you've seen the movie, then re-watch the movie.

Spoiler

 

asdf

Video Games

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Arma- The Arma games, Arma 2, Arma 3 & so on are Military Simulators. My friend in the Finnish military uses a modified Arma 2 when training sometimes. If you want to practice realistic military gameplay, this is the game for you. If you don't have friends, join an Arma clan, they're always excited to have new members. They do have chains of command so, just letting you know now. BTW, mods out the wazoo. Also you'll need all the DLC (Apex & so on)

Counter Strike- The gameplay has held up for 20 years & has been updated/refined the entire time. It's a multiplayer game that's worth it. The map DE_Dust2 has been made in nearly every shooter with map tools since 2001.

Devil May Cry- Excellent 3rd person beat em up. Never have I ever booted up a game not expecting much to be greated by a montage of a strip club, a 3 way & then start fighting daemons in the first 5 minutes. You get a lot of cool powers too. I need to play more Japanese games.

Endless Sky- This is basically an open source (free game) re-creation of the Space stage from Spore. You fly to different space systems, you can shoot other ships, do delivery missions, escourt missions & there's a story hidden in there. A lot of procedural generated stuff, but enough hand crafted stuff (every planet, its lore, political events) that it stays interesting. Pretty harsh barrier to entry with some complexity. "What makes that gun better? well... it might not be better." Wiki didn't help much either. Lotta figure it out yourself.

Half-Life Series- Half Life 2 & Black Mesa included. These are no-cutscene, FPS puzzle, action, adventure games. Physics here & there. These are great games, however I'm not sure they make it to top tier. Half-Life: Alyx is not included; I don't have VR.

Mad Max- This is an awesome game. 3rd person fighting game where you get to drive a car really fast & smash stuff. It's easy so don't expect complex combat. It's fun though so... Casual gamers, you'll love it. Sooooo much content. There's prolly like a thousand missions. Okay... 500 that I've played so far. I haven't seen any glitches. Also, this is a rare exception of a game that has a grappling hook/harpoon, so ... prolly an instant win for some people.

Red Faction: Guerrilla- I got the "Re-Mars-tered" edition on steam. I beat the game on PS3. Every human building is fully destructable. There's tons of missions. It's a GTA clone from xbox 360 era but you're on mars, have C4, a sledgehammer & can literally walk through buildings with a mining walker. Or take the biggest truck you can find, drive it through a military base, collapse it on the enemies inside killing the inhabitants & then shoot the survivors, buy a jetpack & then shoot a rocket launcher at the reinforcements.

Spec-Ops: The Line- The "Generic" third person shooter controls are as tight as any "generic" third person shooter; however for the story, you should go in without spoilers. It's something to pay attention to. All the details.

Star Wars: Battlefront 2 (2005)- It's easy to pickup. The story is fun to play through once if that's all you'll do. If you play with friends, you can play as special characters & use an array of vehicles in combined arms combat.

Books

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Roadside Picnic- Stalker the game is based off this. Aliens came to earth & left without ever talking to humans. Interesting plot. Realistic characters immerse you in the world. Keep in mind it takes place in 19XX. No cell phones nor internet.

 

[Guest]

Don't even bother

 

TV Shows

Spoiler

Big Bang Theory- It's a different kind of humor, many don't like it. It's written by 2 physicists, some don't like it by season 2/3 since the girlfriend plots can be annoying. Young Sheldon is a tie in show. I wouldn't recommend it unless you LOVED the big bang theory & sheldon since it's all about him.

Jimmy Neutron- The stories are so bad & the jokes are so terrible. I'm no longer the target audience, but trying to watch it it's not as good as the snippets you see online.

Movies

Spoiler

2001 A Space Oddysee- There's some "deep meaning" but there's so many long sequences that don't need to be as long as they are. Some theory says the grey box is supposed to be a TV, maybe it's saying TV is a waste of time. How meta?

Bohemian Rhapsody- Generic band movie. Supposedly a bit off played from the real events. It's okay & well... Do I have to mention the music? Queen the band is one of the highest regarded bands of all time if not THE highest regarded next to the classics like Mozart. Not really worth seeing, but it's fine.

Bumblebee 2018- Love interest is pointless & doesn't add to the story. It's 100% just a movie for 12 year olds to go on a date to. Bad guy characters are super bland.

the day after- long exposition. Has quite accurate facts about radiation but I only liked watching it because I was playing mobile games whilst it was playing. Wasn’t so bad I had to turn it off but wasn’t engaging enough to not get bored. 

Ex Machina- The concept is that AI could become sentient & we'd be helpless to defeat them. Other than that, the movie is boring.

Exam- One of those mid 2000s missing story stories. It's basically watching people perform an escape room. It was decent but there are better movies.

Jarhead-Yes, it does depict what it's like to be a soldier in a combat zone. It's boring, & cliche. There's better movies for war movies & better experiences for realistic depictions of war.

Passion of the Christ- Watching Jesus fall in slow motion isn't moving. Many parts of this movie don't match up with the book even though it attempted to be a very faithful recreation. It's incredibly stupid with many absurd events.

Predator- Arnold Schwarzenegger was good, Predators (the third movie) was good. I didn't see 2. DON'T watch 4. Trust me. Didn't age too well. There's plenty of generic okay action movies.

Ralph- Wreck it Ralph & Ralph breaks the internet. Both are mediocre movies. Second is an extremely hard pass. Don't even waste the time of reading the title.

Secret of NIMH- Has nothing to do with Calhoun's research. Generic kids movie characters. Maybe if you have kids but I think a leapfrog educational toy is a better use of their time. Maybe read a book.

Snowpiercer- It's not terrible, but I wouldn't say it's great. The world froze over & humans live on a train. This train has a distinct class system & has themes of population control. Its ending wasn't a twist however the ending wasn't what I expected. There's many stupid moments that just ruin the movie for me. A few plot holes as well. Just 2 hours of revolutionary fighting on a train which wasn't bad but you can skip it.

Video Games

Spoiler

Space Hulk: Deathwing- The graphics are good but every other aspect of the game isn't lore appropriate nor fun.

Books

Spoiler

 

 

[Guest]

Que (Things people suggested I see or things I've seen but not yet rated.)

 

Things I've experienced but don't know what to think about yet. Likely going to re-watch/finish watching.

Spoiler

A Boy and his dog- Was pretty good. I need to re-reflect on it.

Captain Ron- May be an okay.

The Day After- Was really slow & boring. I started playing iPhone whilst it was playing.

Clockwork orange-I loved it but it may be a bit slow.

Dr. Strangelove or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb-I loved it but its comedy may be misunderstood.

Forbidden planet- Was really good. May be an upper okay. May even make it to must see.

Soylent Green- Need to give it a second shot. I liked it but I'm not sure if it's worth an okay.

Stargate- Watched 1994. On SG1 still. Going to rate entire series as a whole. SG-1 is looking at okay to meh. We'll see how Atlantis & the other movies stack up to see if it's worth the effort.

Starship Troopers- First one was good. I saw some sequels but I will rate the franchise when I see them all.

King Kong 1933-It was okay. I'll watch it again & see if it's worth the okay rating. The story progressed well. My first experience was me comparing it to 2005.

 

TV Shows

Spoiler

Metalocalypse-My copy is in Russian. I need to get it in English. So far it's an Okay listing as it targets a semi-niche audience of people that like metal music. (Even though 90% of people like metal.)

Movies

Spoiler

The Abyss (1989)-

Annihilation (2018)-

Apostle (2018)-

The Butterfly Effect- Watching the trailer was a blast from the past with how stupid early 2000s trailers were xD. This or Donnie Darko had a good song in it.

Chronicles of Riddick series

Citizen Kane- The movie is really slow to watch. I need to find some booze and give it a second shot. Until then I'm going to say no.

Damnation Alley-

The Descent (2005)-

Donnie Darko- Hear it's a cult classic. I'll go in with an open mind.

Dune- I really need time to watch it. May be better to just read the books though. Let me know if I should bother with the movie or books. Are they really that good?

Eden Lake- Want to watch it with friends

Escape from New York- Weird looking NYC jail movie. Not to be regionalist but New Yorkers are the worst. Making NYC a jail wouldn't be the worst idea.

Ghost in the Shell-

Metropolis (old German movie)-

Moon (2009)-

Pulp Fiction- I saw the first third of the movie but found it quite boring. Didn't give it a second chance yet.

Stalker (1979)- I need to brush up on my Russian.

Pet Sematary- Want to see it with friends

Threads 1984- Some random post apocalypse movie.

Video Games

Spoiler

 

Books

Spoiler

 

 

[Guest]

Need a second opinion. 

Please state where you’d list it & why in spoilers to prevent spoiling things for others. 

 

Dr strangelove or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb

Spoiler

I loved the movie both times I’ve seen it. the plot progresses, the comedy is creative. I don’t know if it’s too talkative though. Every scene in the movie serves a purpose. there is zero downtime in the movie from my perspective because it helps drive the plot or is a symbol of the movie's purpose.

The Fifth Element

Spoiler

It's weird but not bad. Just unusual. Okay? I don't think it's a must see.
I watched this because Cine-massacre did a video on it & my relative made me watch this countless times because he has an odd lifetime addiction to people with orange hair.

After re-reviewing it I still can't tell if this is the best or worst movie ever made.

Star Wars FROM SOMEONE THAT HASN'T SEEN ANY OF THEM

Please watch all main movies (episode 1, episode 2... etc.)

Spoiler

I loved this series. I don't know if I've seen it too many times however.

That or imo episode 7 kinda killed the series for me. I liked episode 8 for the sole sake of wanting to like the new star wars movies. I've seen both less than 3 times each. I don't know what to think of the new movies. Most people I know have seen them all. If you have a friend that hasn't seen them, please watch these movies with them & share their thoughts.

The special effects were "amazing" back in 1977 and supposedly. However I want to know about the movies, not how much work was put into getting the robot machine to walk. No disrespect but it's not 1977 anymore. All special effects have basically leveled out & they aren't that important anymore.

 

[Guest]

Media I refuse to take part with.
Pornography & proper snuff (real ultra-violence) will not be listed but that should have been expected.

Spoiler

Things on this list are non-negotiable. If it's here, don't even bother requesting it.

It's not that these pieces of media may be particularly bad. The could be amazing but for one reason or another I just don't want to review it. I may catch the spark-notes (website that summarizes stories, explains themes & important quotes.) on some of the more notable movies.

 

TV shows

Spoiler

Rick and Morty- The first few episodes were so garbage that I won't waste my time watching it. I get why it's funny, but it's not.

Movies

Spoiler

The Birth of a Nation- I'm sorry but silent films are difficult. Ask a film major what they think of it. Oldest film in the world. It'd be interesting to see the KKK be the good guys in the film but I can't stand the silence. If it was a book, maybe I'd read it.

Citizen Kane- Soooo long and boring in the beginning.

Eyes Wide Shut- Long intro.

The Immitation Game-

 

[wasab]

Okay.... What is this about? 

[Guest]

22 minutes ago, wasab said:

Okay.... What is this about? 

Just a review list. 

 

Ie this movie is good, this movie is bad. But also has games & books. 

[Guest]

Updated Must see & okay video game sections.

To do:
Review The Simpsons, King of the Hill & a few movies.

[Red :)]

What about The Office? (both versions reviewed seperately)

[Guest]

33 minutes ago, Red said:

What about The Office? (both versions reviewed seperately)

bad

[Red :)]

2 hours ago, fpo said:

bad

 

[Red :)]

What about Kitchen Nightmares?

[Guest]

13 minutes ago, Red said:

What about Kitchen Nightmares?

Hotel hell has the variety. 

[Yummychickenblue]

Now these are capital-T Takes

[BlueChinchillaEatingDorito]

2 hours ago, Red said:

What about Kitchen Nightmares?

Only the UK one. 

[Moonzy]

I thought this was a thread for fpo's meme stash

 

Disappointed