I need some help (driving lessons)

[3 Lions]

Hi guys,

 

So I'm currently doing my driving lessons but I have a big problem stopping me from taking my test. Now it's inevitable that a leaner is going to make mistakes but I have a problem with this, I know the job of a driving instructor is to point out mistakes made but the problem I have is the driving instructor I have mentions how many mistakes I've made and even mentions the mistake I made earlier approaching the same situation. In doing this my confidence level drops to the point where even if I'm trying to work out how to do it correctly I make the same mistakes over and over again. This gets the driving instructor frustrated to the point where he has to shout at me and I get frustrated, today for example I was making mistakes on roundabouts and kept making them due the frustration I had and for the first time I just felt like crashing the car. I just would like someone to talk to privately, to bring up my confidence level and to keep me from getting frustrated in future lessons.

 

NOTE:  

When I'm just driving around with my parents this issue never happens, it's only when the driving instructor is with me I get like this. 

[r3loAded]

First, tell your parents exactly what you wrote here and then then your driving instructor same thing. Make him understand your frustrations and reason for mistakes. If he acts like an asshole, let him go and go for another one. And don't forget to leave feedback so that others know what kind of person he is.

[dionkoffie]

I had the same thing here when I was doing my lessons. My instructor would always point out every single mistake to the point where I'd almost cry. I did tell my instructor that I would get frustrated and anxious. 

 

It's normal. My friend is going through the same thing right now. I'd rather have an instructor that points out every single mistake than having an instructor who would let it slide or not say anything about me.

 

It actually made me more confident in the end. I took my exam with 100% confidence that I would make it. I just went for a drive with a new person. I had a nice comfortable chat while doing my exam that made me 10 times more relaxed. In the end I passed with 0 mistakes. 

[LapX]

Don't worry about it, on my driving test I was really stressed and drove incledibly bad compared to usual and I still passed. Only a few points above the passing grade but I still passed

[aflyinghotpocket]

Honestly, if this "instructor" is shouting at anyone then you should find a new instructor. Factually speaking, yelling at ANYONE while driving is a huge hazard to you and the folks around you. You will never learn if the person teaching you is unwilling to understand your wants/needs. It sounds to me like your instructor is teaching from a script and lacks any sort of ability to be flexible and mentor you. 

 

Don't be discouraged, driving is scary at first and everyone makes mistakes. I would assume you have a temporary permit to drive, if so, find an abandoned mall or parking lot and drive around for a little bit with no traffic or things to hit so that you can become comfortable with the car itself and your surroundings. 

 

Don't give up! You can do it! 

[billstelling]

The thing you need to learn is oneness with a vehicle. It's different for every type of car you get in but once you have a feel for making the car an extension of your body it is effortless to transition to another.

 

I would love to talk to you about it and how to become comfortable behind the wheel. That being said, I would go on YouTube and watch as many vids as you can on the subject as you will find a series that clicks with you and will then "get it" as it were.. Don't get all caught up in the technical, which it sounds like your instructor is keen on, and instead try to get a feel for the physics of driving. Once you understand why a car reacts to it's environment, the different speeds for proper cornering and acceleration as well as proper breaking the rest will pretty much fall in line. You know, all that stuff your instructor keeps rapping you on the knuckles about..

 

I got my kid up to speed by having him play racing sims while I coached him in the background. It took the fear out of the equation and he did much better. Once he got comfortable with sim racing the real driving became easy to him.

 

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Almost forgot to add this.. I learned to drive by going to the go cart track when I was a kid. I can still smell the oil and gas form the place.. A little hint of hot wax mixed in.. Yes they waxed the corners on one of the tracks for "drifting".. I miss the Little 500...

[davrosG5]

While it's important for you to know about errors and things with your driving there are different ways to approach communicating them. If, for some reason, you can't switch instructor (paid up front for a block of lessons maybe) then you need to have a discussion about what's not working so you can try something else.

Have a talk with the instructor and explain what's happening. If they're any good they should be willing and able to try a different approach with you. If you can't reach an accommodation that works then it's probably time to look for a different instructor.

[chiller15]

I'd consider switching driving instructors. Back when I was taking driving lessons, I started with a useless driving instructor. He wasn't really bothered, had a poor atitude to instructing and often cancelled lessons. I switched to another recommended instructor and she was great.

 

Despite your frustrations and mistakes, don't give it up. It sounds obvious, but the more practice/lessons you do, the better you'll get. It isn't an overnight thing either. It took me two years with on/off lessons to be ready for my test. Even then, it took me three times to pass.

[minibois]

Yeah, you just seem to have a bad instructor (or one with bad habits).

You pay him to point out your mistakes, that is fine, but you also pay him to teach what to do differently next time. Him getting frustrated/angry/yelling is very unprofessional and not something he should do.

[Syntaxvgm]

I drove several years collision free to finally almost get into one when I started taking my mother to hospital visits and she treated my car like a Chinese made rollercoaster, literally holding the dashboard when in reality I'm one of the smoother drivers out there. I drive gentle, I don't tailgate, etc. Made me nervous as hell. I got over it. I started driving aggressively to show her what real roller coaster driving is like. She got the point. She eventually acknowledged what she was doing. Might have been part chemo therapy effects making her dizzy too. But she was always a big nervous mess like that when I drove. 

Years later, still collision free. 

Confidence is important. Try switching instructors maybe. This is why my father taught me to drive. Took him maybe about 2 hours of watching me drive to start reading the paper/taking calls and using me to bum rides as 'driving practice' 

[3 Lions]

25 minutes ago, Minibois said:

Yeah, you just seem to have a bad instructor

Oh no the driving instructor I have is a nice guy and has done a lot for me in terms of my driving ability. I understand why he gets angry with me when I make mistakes because it's like I'm not listening to him yet I am but because of the confidence loss when he mentions mistakes I'm not able to fix my errors in a comfortable and correct way (for me personally). It starts this pattern of thought that comes back to haunt me when I'm faced with the situation again and even messes up my driving in different areas, areas that I'd normally be good at.