What the F is wrong with people?

[Giganthrax]

2 hours ago, chiller15 said:

So you ask what F is wrong with her? She is suffering mental health issues, like many of us are she needs help and support, regardless of how hard it is. She has you and others around her. Take it from me, don't leave her to suffer this on her own.

I disagree. The OP is not that woman's psychiatrist. The OP has a life of her own. Why would she spend hours upon hours listening to this woman's venting, all while the same woman ignored any heartfelt advice she was given? Out of pity?

 

I'm sorry that you and this woman have issues that make getting over stuff like this difficult. But both of you are still adults. Take action. Deal with your situation. If you're unable to, seek professional help.

 

If you (or this woman) don't actually want to work to make things better for yourself, then that's your choice, but you can't expect other people to serve as your trauma dumpsters just because you're suffering. Friendship goes both ways. 

[chiller15]

7 minutes ago, Giganthrax said:

I disagree. The OP is not that woman's psychiatrist. The OP has a life of her own. Why would she spend hours upon hours listening to this woman's venting, all while the same woman ignored any heartfelt advice she was given? Out of pity?

 

I'm sorry that you and this woman have issues that make getting over stuff like this difficult. But both of you are still adults. Take action. Deal with your situation. If you're unable to, seek professional help.

 

If you (or this woman) don't actually want to work to make things better for yourself, then that's your choice, but you can't expect other people to serve as your trauma dumpsters just because you're suffering. Friendship goes both ways. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm making my own (if but slow) steps towards dealing with my situation. I'm also not suggesting that the OP should spend that much time, what I'm saying is simply don't just give up on someone. We've just had mental health awareness week here in the UK and it's important that people have others if they need it. Pushing people away is a defence mechanism from this person, and it may take some time to lower those defences.

[LaFemmeEnVert]

6 hours ago, chiller15 said:

...

 

3 hours ago, Giganthrax said:

...

I care about her, but during these periods I ended up being the one that spends the most time, nearly every day and evening when I am not working, chilling and keeping her company so she doesn't feel abandoned or alone or do something to hurt herself.  Very few of her other friends, ones that she has known for longer than me, seem to come see or spend time with her.  They come for a day or an afternoon and leave.  Of course, some of those friends try to encourage and comfort her, but they don't see or hear the things she does and say when I'm there.  I tell her, call your other friends... she does but often none of them come.  They just call her over the phone or messages. 

 

Because of my personality, I'm very solution or problem solving oriented.  I don't like seeing someone miserable like this.  I can show and give sympathy for a while, but I would rather suggest solutions to her how to get past this unfortunate circumstance.  But instead she mostly wants someone there to listen to her talk and complain and be depressed etc.  The first time I spend roughly 2 weeks with her as she went through this.  This time when she came back after chasing the guy down in Hawaii and getting back together with him, my first thought was "she actually went after a guy that dumped her?" and I felt it wasn't going to last long though I did hope for the best.  I had the feeling they would break up again, I didn't expect it would happen within the span of a month though.  They broke up last thursday, 16th May, and I could only spend a few days with her before I got fed up and really didn't want to see her doing nothing substantive to overcome her troubles.  She talks about forgetting him, but all she ever thinks or talks about, when she isn't distracted by something else like when we play badminton or cards or chess, are the times she and the guy spent together and the sex they had day and night.  I wasn't really interested in their relationship, it was their personal affair, so I never did ask or gossip like asking did he ever take her out for dinner or moonlit strolls or read her books or take her to museums or movies or whatever...things that I think couples should do to explore each other's likes and dislikes instead of just being in bed all the time.

 

Maybe my world view or mentality is problematic, because if someone did that to me I'd have dropped them the first time and moved on.  I rarely give second chances.  Maybe I have a cold heart or is a sociopath.