@ Eye Contact

[Sammael]

How much is enough/not enough?

 

 

I have a tendency to look away frequently, because every time I look into someones eyes longer, they seem to get uncomfortable.  I think I may just come across too intense, but then I saw this:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7h2XnXvb4I

 

 

It turns out that maybe any prolonged eye contact makes people uneasy, and if your eyes look wide open you kind of come off as a serial killer.  I think this might be why Canadians are seen as friendlier.  The scholars of south park discussed the nature of Canadian eyes:

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOR38552MJA#t=15s

 

 

Linus is Canadian and his eyes are kind of beady and he is one of the least threatening looking human beings I have ever seen. 

 

 

I wonder how the signals affect mates and attraction as well.  Is eye contact between mates longer than strangers?  

[MegaDave91]

You look at someone when they're speaking to you. Same applies when you're speaking to someone too, although it's fine to break eye contact sometimes in order to think about what you're gonna say.

 

It can get awkward when the person talking to you never looks away though.

[meneervent]

This sure is one of the strangest topics here.

[McMurderMonkey]

I generally feel that you should make more eye-contact while listening than you should while speaking.

[MegaDave91]

I generally feel that you should make more eye-contact while listening than you should while speaking.

 Exactly. When listening to someone, it's easy to just look at them because you don't have to think about what you're saying, because you're not saying anything; you're just listening. When you're the one talking though, looking away from time to time makes it easier to think about what you're saying.

[WunderWuffle]

This sure is one of the strangest topics here.

You haven't been here long, have you...

[The Great Lord Mccodi]

It's weird for me. I make eye contact while listening. When I'm talking, its hard for me to make eye contact. How do I fix this?

[MegaDave91]

It's weird for me. I make eye contact while listening. When I'm talking, its hard for me to make eye contact. How do I fix this?

If you lack self confidence or have low self esteem, these can affect eye contact.

[Sammael]

It's weird for me. I make eye contact while listening. When I'm talking, its hard for me to make eye contact. How do I fix this?

 

 

Whatever you do, don't do this:

 

 

That's the kind of wide eyed stare that makes you look psycho.  And don't look into the eyes for too long.

 

I've noticed that I look away more often when talking to a superior, and am less skittish with the eye contact with my peers.  After seeing that first video, I now realize I am acting like a dog, bowing down to the alpha of the pack...  so maybe that's bad.

[DLM_012]

Depends on a number of different factors. Cultural differences, situation, etc. Generally speaking, consistent eye contact shows that you're confident and trustworthy or that you're listening.

[Alex780]

How much is enough/not enough?

 

 

I have a tendency to look away frequently, because every time I look into someones eyes longer, they seem to get uncomfortable.  I think I may just come across too intense, but then I saw this:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7h2XnXvb4I

 

 

It turns out that maybe any prolonged eye contact makes people uneasy, and if your eyes look wide open you kind of come off as a serial killer.  I think this might be why Canadians are seen as friendlier.  The scholars of south park discussed the nature of Canadian eyes:

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOR38552MJA#t=15s

 

 

Linus is Canadian and his eyes are kind of beady and he is one of the least threatening looking human beings I have ever seen. 

 

 

I wonder how the signals affect mates and attraction as well.  Is eye contact between mates longer than strangers?  

This whole thing is weird... I got the same problem as you. It started about 3 years ago. I went through a phase where I was very affected by it and felt really awkward when talking to people. It lasted one year. But hopefully, I pretty much got rid of it and it rarely comes to my mind anymore. The thing is, I have never found a "trick" to get rid of this annoying issue. Though, what I'm sure of, is that it happens when you become self conscious. So just forget about yourself and focus more on what's being said.

[MzCatieB]

if i do my makeup well enough and in the right way, i can get guys to walk in to doors :3 

[Alex780]

if i do my makeup well enough and in the right way, i can get guys to walk in to doors :3 

 Are you aware that this has nothing to do with the topic?

[Mooshi]

Whatever you do, don't do this:

 

 

That's the kind of wide eyed stare that makes you look psycho.  And don't look into the eyes for too long.

 

I've noticed that I look away more often when talking to a superior, and am less skittish with the eye contact with my peers.  After seeing that first video, I now realize I am acting like a dog, bowing down to the alpha of the pack...  so maybe that's bad.

 

I'll try not to spontaneously turn into a ginger.

[MzCatieB]

 Are you aware that this has nothing to do with the topic?

yes and no:

 

"I have a tendency to look away frequently, because every time I look into someones eyes longer, they seem to get uncomfortable.  I think I may just come across too intense, but then I saw this"

[Hazy125]

I find it depends on who I'm speaking to. The whole social distancing and shred cultural junk that I studied for years. Positive and negative face needs etc. All that said, I'm very sexist. I find that I'm completely inhospitable and unreasonable when guys try to talk to me for the majority of the time. Therefore I don't make any eye contact giving off the impression that I want nothing to do with them

[TOMPPIX]

It's weird for me. I make eye contact while listening. When I'm talking, its hard for me to make eye contact. How do I fix this?

same for me  

[ManOfDisguise]

dat channel name!

[Askew]

If I make eye contact with a woman outside of coversation it's normally because the rest of her is sexy and I want to see if she's looking at me.

If I make eye contact with a man outside of conversation it's normally because he is in my way and we need to direct each other to a given side, or to acknowledge his presence as I pass.

 

When I'm talking to either a man or a woman I don't know eye contact is always there, but if we know each other well then we can sometimes face different directions while speaking so it's not always eye contact.

 

It does depend on what is being discussed though in the latter situation.

[ChezMak0r]

My High School German teacher always moved her whole freaking body in the direction I was looking when I wasn't looking her in the eyes, to maintain eye contact.. 

[James_AJ]

Okay I know I am messed up but this is my brain/muscle's coup against me... My eyes tend to "lock on" to people's eyes when i'm just staring at nothing particular. So there might be a person and my eyes directly looks at her eyes.. and more than often we have awkward eye contact... EVERY TIME.

And this gets even worse when there's a lot of people/when someone hot is around... no seriously.