HELP!!!!

[chimmychunger]

Some one put my keys down their pants im not sure if its over his jocks or under.

 

How do i get them back

 

how do i hold them once ive got them back

 

How do i cleen  them

[Sarcasm]

Dafuq did I just read?

[WunderWuffle]

[helping]

 

 

Just try not to nick anything, because that's probably illegal.

 

 

To clean soak in bleach and then boil in water, rinse with alcohol. Keys are completely sterilized. 

[DirkaFat]

Use a keycap puller

[Lord Pantaloons]

You day going well then is it?

 

Objective- Key retrieval

 

Required tools:

Latex gloves

Leather gloves

Hammer

Hedge Clippers/scissors

x2 Extendable Grabbers

 

Required Materials:

x2 Buckets

Bleach

Alcohol 91% or better

Blowtorch

 

 

Steps

 

1. Use hammer, incapacitate key thief (use of lethal or non lethal force to be determined by end user)

2. Use hedge clippers/scissors to remove pants of key thief

3. Put on latex gloves, move genitals with first extendable grabber, retrieve keys with second extendable grabber.

4. Place keys in bucket, pour in non-diluted bleach, let soak for one hour.

5. Put on Leather gloves, retrieve keys from bucket with grabber and use blowtorch to dry.

6. Fill second bucket with alcohol, dip keys (while still hot) into the alcohol to cool

7. Heat keys with blowtorch then dip into the bleach in the first bucket to cool

8. Repeat steps 6 and 7 as many times as desired.

9. Take the keys of the offending person and defecate on them

10. Go about your business

 

 

 

Alternative option- Retrieve keys, hand sanitizer, grow up, refrain from asking for help with situations like this on the Linus Tech Tips forum

[chimmychunger]

You day going well then is it?

 

Objective- Key retrieval

 

Required tools:

Latex gloves

Leather gloves

Hammer

Hedge Clippers/scissors

x2 Extendable Grabbers

 

Required Materials:

x2 Buckets

Bleach

Alcohol 91% or better

Blowtorch

 

 

Steps

 

1. Use hammer, incapacitate key thief (use of lethal or non lethal force to be determined by end user)

2. Use hedge clippers/scissors to remove pants of key thief

3. Put on latex gloves, move genitals with first extendable grabber, retrieve keys with second extendable grabber.

4. Place keys in bucket, pour in non-diluted bleach, let soak for one hour.

5. Put on Leather gloves, retrieve keys from bucket with grabber and use blowtorch to dry.

6. Fill second bucket with alcohol, dip keys (while still hot) into the alcohol to cool

7. Heat keys with blowtorch then dip into the bleach in the first bucket to cool

8. Repeat steps 6 and 7 as many times as desired.

9. Take the keys of the offending person and defecate on them

10. Go about your business

 

 

 

Alternative option- Retrieve keys, hand sanitizer, grow up, refrain from asking for help with situations like this on the Linus Tech Tips forum

i liked your first solution better

and its off topic so.....

[whatthe_fuzz]

Call no homo (or full homo idc) and use your teeth like a man.

Then stare the kid in the eye and wink.

Walk away with keys in mouth

[chimmychunger]

Ive now taken his laptop, Im hoping he will trade my keys for his laprop

[whatthe_fuzz]

Ive now taken his laptop, Im hoping he will trade my keys for his laprop

Set his homepage to gay pr0n

[JaeDee884]

just shove your hand down there and get your keys. then knock the guy out.

oh wait are you going for a non invasive and non violent way? I'm the wrong guy to ask