I need some advice,cause i don't know what to do.

[trainergames]

Ok i am posting this here cause i don't want my mom or sister to read this,and they don't visit sites like this so they won't read it here.

 

I am 25 working at a walmart,my mom and i are living with my sister(who has 3 kids) in a 4 bedroom house,each kid has thier own room,and my mom is using a small formal dining room as a bed room,me i sleep,i sleep on the floor.

 

My sister is always having me drive her around or getting her stuff,i clean dishes,i sometimes will pay the water bill,i have pawned stuff mine for her,i and any money i have left after my few bills(car ins,phone)is spend on either getting her ciggarettes,or fast food,or buying food for the house.

 

She gets mad at me for all the stuff i have,and even when i find a place to put it(like stored in a corner of the garage)she gets mad,and non of her kid are willing room together,so i can have a bedroom,but she said that even if had a room and put all my stuff in it,it would still annoy her because "the mess would still be in her house."

 

She also gets mad at me if i send some of my extra money on stuff for me,like i just bought a $200 video card to replace my dead 7970,using a $460 i had gotten from work,yet she is also wanting to spend $200 to get her kids a above ground pool(which she says i can't get in do to a weight limit of 250,and i weigh 325),she also wants me to help pay for it.

 

My mom had a stroke late 2012, there is a lot she can't do any more(she can't lift more than 10lbs with out help,and needs a walker to get around) and i am the only one is the house who really helps her,but she is trying to get on SSI.

 

My mom wants to move out,and i do to,but my mom want to move to a small town i can't really stand them,i love big city's,also my mom says she would want us to have both of our computers in the same room,and i really don't want that.

 

To tell you guys the truth, i kinda want to move out on my own,but i don't want to abandon my mom,i love her so much,but like i said i am 25,at some point i need to get out on my own so i can meet someone,and mabye settle down.

 

 

 

I just really don't know what to do,please help me decide...

[Fred Castellum]

Shit, this is something we can give you advice on but not help make a decision on. 

 

I'd want to move out in your position too.... 

 

EDIT: Can you talk to your sister and set things straight with her? Its one thing to help her and her kids out and another to be obligated to do so. You money is YOUR money, what you decide to do with it is your business not anyone else's. 

 

She needs to understand that YES she is family and family is important but her kids are ultimately her responsibility NOT YOURS therefore she can't complain about what you decide to do with your money. You don't need to buy her cigarettes or fast food... your not obligated to do so. Is she working? If she's employed but can't make enough to support herself and her kids she should be applying for financial government aid. She's gotta understand that your her brother not a financial safety net... the world of business doesn't care about who you are but what your capable of doing. 

 

Does she own the house? 

 

EDIT2: She needs to also learn how to be smart with her money, like some Asian families(lol no offence). You can save a lot of money if you buy ingredients and cook your own food opposed to buying fast food and eating out. If your tight on money there are things you can and cannot afford obviously so you need to play it safe and be a educated consumer. Do you really need 2 ply toilet paper? No? Then buy single ply toilet paper. 

[Recon-UK]

I stopped reading at the part with your sister.

 

 

After further reading, take your mom with you if you feel you need to stay with her, and become her carer.

 

I currently look after my mum funnily enough who is also a stroke patient though much more severe, loss of speech and she is paralysed down her right side.

 

I am not her main carer though.

 

I edited this post due to my blatant ignorance before hand.

[Maxwit44]

 ^{I got a mate in exactly the same kinda position, except he don't have the sister and kids in the house. He does have his girly friends over and he works it out some how.}

 

^{If it was me, I'd get the hell outta there, and take your mother with you. Get a place where you both can live in peace. Save some coin and get your life on track. If you end up meeting a girl, she'll either understand and appericate the fact your looking after your mom, (in which case hold on to that girl) or she won't (drop her like a hot rock).  Get out to that place that'll make your moms happy for awhile and see how you go. You might end liking it. Plus, your 25 dude, still got a whole lotta life to live yet mate. Theres time yet to do other things. Thats what I'd do. My opinion.}

 

^{Don't even pawn stuff dude, not for your sister. Tell her to get her own coin and spend it, her own car to drive, etc. etc. Take care of yourself for a change!! I got a family of my own and support every one in my house. Some times you do need to be selfish for a day or two, jsut so you can do what you want and need to do.}

 

^{SSI? could expand on that please?}

[Poohy14]

I really don't know what you should do maybe tell her that if you can have a room you will continue to drive her and pay for somethings and if not then she can get just deal with it since its your money and you work for it and she doesn't. You shouldnt have to pay for her things its not written on paper, you don't have too. If its really her house then all she can do is legally kick you out but then she loses your hard earn money so she will try to keep you there. just tell her if you don't get a room then you're moving out and she might actually listen but if you pay rent, make sure its written on paper that you also get a room and pay maybe like $200 a month or whatever you work out but make sure you don't buy her things because thats not going to help your situation at all since you will just be giving her even more money and you are just letting her control you which you shouldn't.

[trainergames]

she does not work but he husband does he makes $1300 to $1600 every 2 weeks,but rent is $1250,both their names,and mine is on the lease.

 

She does not like to cook,and the few time she does it is the same damn things lol.

 

SSI is "social security supplemental income"

[Fred Castellum]

she does not work but he husband does he makes $1300 to $1600 every 2 weeks,but rent is $1250,both their names,and mine is on the lease.

 

She does not like to cook,and the few time she does it is the same damn things lol.

 

SSI is "social security supplemental income"

If that's the case move out with your mother, find a good place. If your sister and her husband can't afford the bill then they have to make compromises. They need to find a smaller room and maybe their kids will have to learn to share a room. 

 

She should find time to improve her cooking then, cooking isn't a ridiculously hard thing to do. She doesn't like cooking? Well deal with it, there are many things I don't like to do but I still do them... Does she want to have more money on hand to use for her kids? Yes? Then learn how to cook and conserve money damit! Don't expect people to always hand you things. 

 

I've shared a room with my brother all my life. 

[Maxwit44]

she does not work but he husband does he makes $1300 to $1600 every 2 weeks,but rent is $1250,both their names,and mine is on the lease.

 

She does not like to cook,and the few time she does it is the same damn things lol.

 

SSI is "social security supplemental income"

 

OK thanks for the explaination on that one.

 

Get your name off that lease dude!!! They could trash that place and you'll be liable. Uncool.

 

I can understand the sharing arrangement, but If your name is on the lease then you should atleast get a room. And if she' got half a heart, your moms should get a room atleast.

 

I'd still look for a place dude. That carrer idea is not a bad one, you may be entitled to some kinda support payment there, but keep that to yourself till your out.

 

Ultimately though, take some time, make your mind up, and then stick to your guns and do it. You gotta be happy in life dude. So mkae it so!!

[d3sl91]

she does not work but he husband does he makes $1300 to $1600 every 2 weeks,but rent is $1250,both their names,and mine is on the lease.

 

Dude, get your name off the lease. Grab your mom, and get the heck outta dodge. 

 

1. It sounds like your sister + husband lack common money-spending sense. 

2. Someone who makes 1.3k -1.6k a month should not be living in a house that costs 1250, and then buying a $200 pool. 

3. At best they only need a 2-3 bedroom house or apartment. Kids can sleep in the same bedroom, just separate the guys and gals past a certain age.

4. Until her husband gets a better Job, maybe she should get a part-time job to add $750 a month to the budget?

 

Bottom line, they are not being wise with what they are doing, and you and your mother are paying for it (literally). Get a small apartment with your mom and care for her, work hard yourself, save money when possible, and you'll make it out alright!