Best patch notes (goat sim)

[AlexGoesHigh]

i'm just going to leave these here...

• Added local splitscreen multiplayer 
• Added a new map, try it out in the “custom game” section 
• The humans have been given a brain with the cognitive abilities of a 4 year old 
• Humans consequently learned to speak. You’ll wish they hadn’t. 
• Added more goats 
• Isn’t this kid super cute?
• Made fun of Michael Bay. Again. Please don’t sue. 
• Added more powers 
• Fixed the hitbox of flappy goat 
• Poured several buckets full of Optimization™ into the game 
• Made sure no class differences exists in Goat City Bay 
• Added tons of achievements 
• You can now run along walls 
• You can now run up walls 
• Stand by for Goatfall 
• Changed batteries in our fire alarm 
• The Goats have learned to ride bikes, press R to mount. 
• The Goats have learned to ride longboards, press R to mount. 
• The Humans have learned how to ride Goats 
• Enjoyed flappy goat 
• You can now buy hats for money 
• This woman made her skin look 20 years younger DOCTORS HATE HER click here
• Fixed display of Int enchantments on crafted gear 
• Applying plastic wrap around your screen will now give you a 3D-effect. 
• Added VR support 
• Reverted hitbox of flappy goat 
• Made hitbox worse on flappygoat 
• Removed Flappy Goat, I hate that fucking game. 
• Got 11 points on Flappy Goat; readded Flappy Goat. 
• Spent more time writing jokes about Flappy Goat than working on the patch 
• Changed the points required for the Flappy Goat Achievement from 10 to 30 
• Just kidding. 
• Removed VR support 
• Ultra-realistic water simulation 
• Fire alarm still beeping 
• You can now swim. Well not really swim, more like float around in a semi-controlled buoyant propulsion fashion. 
• Added volume slider in options for NPC speech. 
• Deadmau5 has finally left EDM. Is now making Goatronica. 
• We went to see Godzilla. It was ok. Cool sound effects. 
• Updated patch notes. 
• Added a lot of new sound effects. 
• Mary had a little ... GOAT!? Historians uncover new evidence, click here!
• There is a new game inside of the game, it’s called SteamWorld Goat. 
• Honored Notch 
• Changed batteries in fire alarm. Again. 
• Wanted to add shadows to buildable blocks but couldn’t figure out how, can someone please tell us? 
• Patch notes now covers more than an A4. 
• Seriously stop making threads asking about patch notes 4 seconds after the patch goes live, calm down 
• Game downloading, does anyone have the patch notes? 
• New patch? 
• Patch released today does anyone know what it does 
• Where are the patch notes 
• Fire alarm still beeping 
• Why is the patch so big? 
• Lazy devs. 
• If you want we can zip it, then rar it to make it smaller. Do you want it on Megaupload? 
• Is this game worth it? Should I buy? 
• Devs please put the game on a sale so I can save 4 bucks 
• I don’t like ___, please add an option to remove ___ 
• Performed Satanic rituals to summon Phil Fish 
• Plz come back 
• Actually optimized the game a bit 
• What use are ladders when you can run on the walls? 
• I hate water 
• Played a whole lot of Wildstar 
• Volvo pls fix ___. 
• Added a Capture the Flag game mode. 
• Added Uncle Goat, I’m sorry about my Goat. 
• Added a Capture the Flag game mode. 
• Added five new colors, all of which are unseeable by the human eye. 
• We actually bought a stuffed goat head IRL for our office, we have no idea what to do with it. 
• Updated our Meta Score to 91/100. 
• Killed PC gaming 
• How long will the patch notes be? 
• Changed batteries in the other fire alarm 
• Increased Storm Spirit’s Static Remnant AoE by 15. 
• Ride a bike with a human on your back. Not like this dude
• You can now play ragdoll goat hockey!

http://steamcommunity.com/games/265930/announcements/detail/1695916337353156299

[Osmium]

Well at least these guys have a sense of humor.

[tek inpektor]

I don't like the game though.

[tek inpektor]

Well at least these guys have a sense of humor.

So do these guys.

 

http://www.facepunchstudios.com/jobs/

 

haha

[Osmium]

So do these guys.

 

http://www.facepunchstudios.com/jobs/

 

haha

That is amazing!

[tek inpektor]

That is amazing!

It's the studio that made GMod and Rust.  :lol: