Windows 10 1809 update fails to install with error 0xc19001e1

[Moldy Stir-Fry]

Ok, so I have been having an issue with Windows update (big surprise, I know) for the entire month of October.  So, after the whole debacle with data deletion and what have you, I'm seeing an influx of posts around the web of people running the 1809 update, but mine keeps refusing to install!  It shows up, it "downloads", it restarts my pc and then just says a restart is required.  Then I looked at the update history, and it is just a string of "failed to install" messages (picture posted below).  So, after literally spending ACTUAL HOURS trying to find someone with this issue, I simply cannot.  It took quite a while to even figure out that error code 0xc19001e1 means "MOSETUP_E_PROCESS_SUSPENDED, or The installation process was suspended. (Link to where I found this https://github.com/MicrosoftDocs/windows-itpro-docs/blob/master/windows/deployment/upgrade/resolution-procedures.md)

Does anyone know what is causing this?  Any help would be appreciated, as I am currently pulling my hair out between this and several other projects...

THINGS I'VE TRIED

Installing windows from boot media (Downloaded from MS website)

Disabling Malwarebytes

Disabling antivirus

Updating drivers

Sfc scan command

Playing with insider preview settings

Probably other things I can't remember.