Making friends as a nerd.

[monopoly_hater]

I thought this would be applicable to this forum, as other may be in the same position as me.


I'll keep this short: due to my, ... peculiarity (being a nerd), I'm having trouble making friends. I have literally 2. While they are good friends,we don't go to the same school. I really wonder why this is happening? One possibility is that I manage to screw up everything manual, I'm super clumsy. Everyone interprets, say, falling off my chair, as attention seeking. I can assure you it's not. If someone could advice me I would very much appreciate it.

[TetraSky]

You'll find that, making friends, is harder and harder as you grow up. Being a nerd probably doesn't help since I assume you're a typical introverted nerd and not the rare extraverted kind ?

Cherish the ones you make at school. Where you have to socialize to not be ostracized.  They might be your last true friends. The rest will just be colleagues and acquaintances. 

[jordanbuilds1]

might be easier if you find a hobby that other people in your school are interested in or looks cool that is easy to do.

[monopoly_hater]

21 minutes ago, TetraSky said:

Cherish the ones you make at school. Where you have to socialize to not be ostracized.  They might be your last true friends. The rest will just be colleagues and acquaintances. 

Probably true if my parents experiences are anything to go by.
 

 

22 minutes ago, TetraSky said:

 Being a nerd probably doesn't hurt since I assume you're a typical introverted nerd and not the rare extraverted kind ?

 

I might be a nerd, but I'm still a human and need social contact.

 

 

17 minutes ago, jordanbuilds1 said:

might be easier if you find a hobby that other people in your school are interested in or looks cool that is easy to do.

 

Yeah kids at my school are only interested in gayming or sports - both things I loath.

[Stahlmann]

I also have very few close friends. And they live far away, so we became and stay friends through online contact. We've visited each other in person from time to time, but that's only once a year or so. And sometimes we go weeks without any contact. I'd rather have these two than 10 other people closer to me.

 

I lost contact with pretty much all the friends I made in school because everyone moved to different places and did different things. Once you move away, if you don't already have the habit of communicating from afar, it's pretty much guaranteed that you'll eventually lose all contact. "Call me sometimes" never works.

 

But I don't really care. I'm an introvert, which doesn't mean "I'm uncomfortable around other people," but more like "I don't need to be around other people." I can go days, even weeks, without human contact. My job requires me to work with other people 9-10 hours a day. I have a few good friends that I can talk to online when I want. And I have a cat at home that keeps me company. I never feel lonely or the need to socialize more.

 

I don't think you can force yourself to make new friends. If you like each other and have similar interests, it just happens. And it's extremely rare. Most people have <5 real friends in their lifetime. I don't count acquaintances or family.