How to not let people/things bother you?

[VG Docs]

People who make certain poorly thought out remarks tend to bother me. I hate it, and I wish it wouldn't, but it does. Honestly, I just want to be able to say "I don't give a shit." like many people can, and move on. Anyone else have this issue? Any ideas on what I could do?

[creativename]

People who make certain poorly thought out remarks tend to bother me. I hate it, and I wish it wouldn't, but it does. Honestly, I just want to be able to say "I don't give a shit." like many people can, and move on. Anyone else have this issue? Any ideas on what I could do?

If you're getting other people's remarks bother you, you're sub-consciously putting your self on the same or a level below that other person. This might sound like bad advice, but all you have to do is act like you're better than everyone else, and all negative comments against you can be brushed off if you think of them as uneducated peasants. I'm being serious here, you have to put yourself in a position above the other person.

[prolemur]

What like remarks towards you or just about anything?

 

Yes! @creativename this is pretty solid advice, don't get a big head though

I will hear somebody say something dumb, and just think in my head oh how cute you're trying so hard to contribute to society have a gold star

[VG Docs]

What like remarks towards you or just about anything?

Towards me mainly, although if someone remarks about an important subject matter I greatly disagree with, then I may take that personally as well. 

[nsyedhasan]

Not give a f***. As Rob Ford, I do it well enough. I would suggest not really taking people's opinions to heart. Use your own and then see how much better then are compared to other people's options.

[prolemur]

Towards me mainly, although if someone remarks about an important subject matter I greatly disagree with, then I may take that personally as well. 

So they're making poor remarks about you and you haven't knocked them out yet? But seriously don't take it personally at all, maybe you just haven't been exposed to that kind of environment for a long time yet. I play a lot of sports and our teams always chirp ourselves but it's all in good humor.

[Hidden Orange]

Just don't let them bother you. It's easy reading it, saying it, or having someone tell you that, but just leave it be. People's opinions on you matter so little and shouldn't affect how good of a person you are. That said, don't use that to become some weird pervert or sociopath, but use it to live the way you live.

 

Now, with subject matters, you can be passionate about your opinion, but don't take to too personal. Hell, you might even convince other people to look in a different light or outright shut them down.

[Imabigmac]

I just tend to give up walk away but in the end I have my opinion and thoughts they have theirs, unless its something super important I don't bother arguing. 

[IDprofile]

Maybe you just haven't figured out your personality much yet. If you really think and figure out how you make you decisions and opinions and find what it is that you choose to create your image with and why then you may accept yourself more with a better understanding and others won't effect you as much. Ugh, that sentence may be hard to understand. I had a hard time putting that into words.

 

The only thing that people assume about me that gets to me is that they think that because I don't talk much that I'm socially awkward. And then they put me on a spotlight telling me that I have social problems and piss me off. When really I just don't have something to say or don't like the person.

[Enderman]

If you let what other people say on the internet bother you, you are going to have a VERY hard time in life...

[VG Docs]

If you let what other people say on the internet bother you, you are going to have a VERY hard time in life...

You have no idea how many times I've heard that, yet it seems to be nothing but untrue. Grant it, it does add a level of stress that's unnecessary (Hence why I made a thread about it), but my life's primary hardships have been due to elements unrelated to what people say, internet and not. 

 

P.S. I'm not really talking about the internet, trolls and people similar to the trolls of the internet I can handle. Face to face on the other hand is very different.

[Enderman]

You have no idea how many times I've heard that, yet it seems to be nothing but untrue. Grant it, it does add a level of stress that's unnecessary (Hence why I made a thread about it), but my life's primary hardships have been due to elements unrelated to what people say, internet and not. 

Doesn't it just make you hate everyone and the world? I find hating people very tiring...its a waste of effort :\

[Vitalius]

Simple for me at least. I kill those reactions. 

Like, the way I am inside myself, towards myself, is like a dictator to an extent. I can kill my emotions, or wtv (i.e. memories, desires, thoughts, so on). I don't understand why others can't do that. It's my mind and body. I decide what goes on in it. 

If I don't like something I make it go away. It might come back, but then I do it again. After so many times, the frequency of recurrences drops off. 

You'd be surprised how much you react to yourself. How thinking or telling yourself something changes how you act towards something else that's unrelated.

Then again, maybe I'm a psychopath (or at least a high functioning sociopath). Not sure.

[VG Docs]

Doesn't it just make you hate everyone and the world? I find hating people very tiring...its a waste of effort :\

I don't think I face the same thing you do. I hate the fact that I can't just hate everyone and move on. =/

[Hidden Orange]

I don't think I face the same thing you do. I hate the fact that I can't just hate everyone and move on. =/

But you must let the hate flow through you... Yessss...

[Fred Castellum]

I don't think I face the same thing you do. I hate the fact that I can't just hate everyone and move on. =/

Meh I find hating everything you dislike around you tends to put your overall mindset into a pessimistic one. No one likes being around a chronic pessimist right? 

 

I just take the meh approach on life for the most part, if it interests me I analyze it but keep my thoughts to myself unless asked. If its not interesting I just filter it out. I don't care if people dislike me for whatever reason, I do what I want and that's that. 

 

 

 

Simple for me at least. I kill those reactions. 

Like, the way I am inside myself, towards myself, is like a dictator to an extent. I can kill my emotions, or wtv (i.e. memories, desires, thoughts, so on). I don't understand why others can't do that. It's my mind and body. I decide what goes on in it. 

If I don't like something I make it go away. It might come back, but then I do it again. After so many times, the frequency of recurrences drops off. 

You'd be surprised how much you react to yourself. How thinking or telling yourself something changes how you act towards something else that's unrelated.

Then again, maybe I'm a psychopath (or at least a high functioning sociopath). Not sure.

That's some impressive control on your thoughts... I wish I could straight up kill memories I don't want... but then again I think I'd be extremely hesitant to do so... 

[Fred Castellum]

The only thing that people assume about me that gets to me is that they think that because I don't talk much that I'm socially awkward. And then they put me on a spotlight telling me that I have social problems and piss me off. When really I just don't have something to say or don't like the person.

Like when everyone's talking about something but you don't know much about the subject so you don't say a word? Then they ask if they bore you or something along those lines? I know that feeling.... 

[Vitalius]

Meh I find hating everything you dislike around you tends to put your overall mindset into a pessimistic one. No one likes being around a chronic pessimist right? 

 

I just take the meh approach on life for the most part, if it interests me I analyze it but keep my thoughts to myself unless asked. If its not interesting I just filter it out. I don't care if people dislike me for whatever reason, I do what I want and that's that. 

 

That's some impressive control on your thoughts... I wish I could straight up kill memories I don't want... but then again I think I'd be extremely hesitant to do so... 

Well, that's sort of an extreme I save for when that memory triggers an emotion or desire I don't want. It usually only works on things that fit the right criteria, and it helps that I have a bad memory to begin with.

Note that I don't consider this "Bottling my emotions". Bottling implies that I have some kind of urge to release them, or that they are still there even when I deny them. But they aren't. They are gone. 

[Fred Castellum]

Well, that's sort of an extreme I save for when that memory triggers an emotion or desire I don't want. It usually only works on things that fit the right criteria, and it helps that I have a bad memory to begin with.

Note that I don't consider this "Bottling my emotions". Bottling implies that I have some kind of urge to release them, or that they are still there even when I deny them. But they aren't. They are gone. 

Yup that's exactly how I though it was, total deletion of the memory. 

 

It's like you have a two layer filter in your mind where you have the ability to take a step back and think about what you were just thinking about like you were a another person looking in huh? While normally people just "think" and act once they think about it, no cross examination. 

[Cubit481]

Yup that's exactly how I though it was, total deletion of the memory. 

 

It's like you have a two layer filter in your mind where you have the ability to take a step back and think about what you were just thinking about like you were a another person looking in huh? While normally people just "think" and act once they think about it, no cross examination. 

how do u delete that memory...??

[Fred Castellum]

how do u delete that memory...??

Beats me, its some sort of psychological ability. Ask @Vitalius about that. 

 

As much as I want to be able to delete memories I have, I know it would be a bad idea for me. Its the good and bad that defines what you are right now anyway right? Changing anything by removal of memory could alter how you think altogether I'd assume. 

[Vitalius]

Yup that's exactly how I though it was, total deletion of the memory. 

 

It's like you have a two layer filter in your mind where you have the ability to take a step back and think about what you were just thinking about like you were a another person looking in huh? While normally people just "think" and act once they think about it, no cross examination. 

Exactly.

I can juggle multiple layers and thoughts in my head. This might be why I can do this. Specifically, my comfort zone decides my limit. If I'm alone, I can do 4 things (think processes, so CPU terms). I can think. Think about what I'm thinking about. Connect thoughts between them, and usually focus on what I'm doing (i.e. work, and such). 

If I'm around family, I can do 3, if I'm around friends, I can do 2. If I'm around strangers, I can do 1. 1 being "focus on what you are doing". I can't even think about what I'm doing. I just do it. 

 

how do u delete that memory...??

It's something you have to learn for yourself. Everyone's internal OS is different.

[Fred Castellum]

how do u delete that memory...??

Beats me, its some sort of psychological ability. Ask @Vitalius about that. 

 

As much as I want to be able to delete memories I have, I know it would be a bad idea for me. Its the good and bad that defines what you are right now anyway right? Changing anything by removal of memory could alter how you think altogether I'd assume. 

 

EDIT: Let me rephrase that. Its the personal experiences you've had that shapes and defines who you are at this very moment anyway right? 

[Cubit481]

Beats me, its some sort of psychological ability. Ask @Vitalius about that. 

 

As much as I want to be able to delete memories I have, I know it would be a bad idea for me. Its the good and bad that defines what you are right now anyway right? Changing anything by removal of memory could alter how you think altogether I'd assume. 

true...it bothers me when something i dont like that anyone did or said is moving in my head...and at that time i just want that thing to just go so that i can concentrate on on other things...it becomes difficult sometimes...

 

 

Exactly.

I can juggle multiple layers and thoughts in my head. This might be why I can do this. Specifically, my comfort zone decides my limit. If I'm alone, I can do 4 things (think processes, so CPU terms). I can think. Think about what I'm thinking about. Connect thoughts between them, and usually focus on what I'm doing (i.e. work, and such). 

If I'm around family, I can do 3, if I'm around friends, I can do 2. If I'm around strangers, I can do 1. 1 being "focus on what you are doing". I can't even think about what I'm doing. I just do it. 

 

It's something you have to learn for yourself. Everyone's internal OS is different.

u r right...i have to learn it of my own...but sometimes when i think about things like that instead of letting it go i go deeper and deeper in that and that makes me go more tensed....

[Hidden Orange]

how do u delete that memory...??

If you can't do it like Vitalius, then look into this light... Look...

 

Now tell me: who are you again? Why are you here? And who is Oceania fighting?