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Best Pick-up line you've heard from someone or read online?

IAEInferno
By IAEInferno
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I'll start.

 

Guy: Hey girl, are you the SAT?

 

Girl: Because you need a lot of preparation and studying so that you can make a pass at me?

 

Guy: No, Because I'd do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes, with a 10 minute break in between for snacks. Then I'd stare at you for another 5-10 minutes thinking, "Wow, I really hope I don't screw this up."

Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.

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"I find you attractive. Your aggressive moves toward me... indicate that you feel the same way. But still, ritual requires that we continue with a number of platonic activities... before we have sex. I am proceeding with these activities, but in point of actual fact, all I really want to do is have intercourse with you as soon as possible."

"Do as I say, not as I do."

-Because you actually care if it makes sense.

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2 hours ago, Dash Lambda said:

"I find you attractive. Your aggressive moves toward me... indicate that you feel the same way. But still, ritual requires that we continue with a number of platonic activities... before we have sex. I am proceeding with these activities, but in point of actual fact, all I really want to do is have intercourse with you as soon as possible."

 

uhh, how is that a pick up line?

Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.

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4 minutes ago, IAEInferno said:

Uh, how is that a pick up line?

Oh wait, that was the wrong quote...

 

"I don't exactly know what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me. But could we assume that I said all that? I mean essentially we are talking about fluid exchange right? So could we just go straight to the sex?"

 

And it's a pickup line like this.

"Do as I say, not as I do."

-Because you actually care if it makes sense.

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1 minute ago, Dash Lambda said:

Oh wait, that was the wrong quote...

 

"I don't exactly know what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me. But could we assume that I said all that? I mean essentially we are talking about fluid exchange right? So could we just go straight to the sex?"

 

And it's a pickup line like this.

 

How's that a good pickup line when he got slapped like that!?

Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.

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1 minute ago, IAEInferno said:

How's that a good pickup line when he got slapped like that!?

Oh, you actually want good pickup lines?

... Then why are you asking a forum of nearly 400,000 computer geeks?

"Do as I say, not as I do."

-Because you actually care if it makes sense.

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Just now, Dash Lambda said:

Oh, you actually want good pickup lines?

... Then why are you asking a forum of nearly 400,000 computer geeks?

 

Read the title, and even if they are computer geeks, why do you think that computer geeks can't come up with pick up lines?

Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.

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1 minute ago, IAEInferno said:

Read the title, and even if they are computer geeks, why do you think that computer geeks can't come up with pick up lines?

...

... This thread is supposed to be humorous, right?...

... 'Cause if it's not, then...

... Well, then first of all, that's weird. And second of all, never use the pickup line in your OP in real life.

"Do as I say, not as I do."

-Because you actually care if it makes sense.

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Just now, Dash Lambda said:

...

... This thread is supposed to be humorous, right?...

... 'Cause if it's not, then...

... Well, then first of all, that's weird. And second of all, never use the pickup line in your OP in real life.

 

"Ladies" don't need pickup lines in real life, you clearly don't know humor too well when it comes to pick up lines because that video wasn't at all funny, unless you're a sadist.

Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.

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Just now, wrathoftheturkey said:

bcuz they're computer geeks

 

Hey girl, nice nitrogen bases you got there. They call me DNA helicase, wanna see why?

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Because I'll unzip your genes

 

 

There are computer geeks that are playboys, I know this too well.

Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.

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Just now, IAEInferno said:

"Ladies" don't need pickup lines in real life, you clearly don't know humor too well when it comes to pick up lines because that video wasn't at all funny, unless you're a sadist.

... Have you ever seen A Beautiful Mind?

"Do as I say, not as I do."

-Because you actually care if it makes sense.

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Just now, wrathoftheturkey said:

dude... fuckin' chill

 

Also, 

Do you want to have gooooood sex?

-Uhmm.. sorry, no?

Well come to my place!

 

So computer geeks = can't come up with pick up lines

 

 

cuz logic!

Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.

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Just now, Dash Lambda said:

... Have you ever seen A Beautiful Mind?

Movies represent  life 100% accurately and all of them can be done.

Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.

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Just now, wrathoftheturkey said:

YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS GAME THEORY IS A BITCH

You don't even watch that movie.

Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.

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Just now, wrathoftheturkey said:

no, it's because of a variety of factors that lead them to be inexperienced with actually using them.

No, there are a variety of factors that can lead them to be experienced with using pick up lines as well.

Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.

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9 minutes ago, wrathoftheturkey said:

huh?

 

Patrick, is that you? Because you obviously live under a rock

 
 

I see, you clearly haven't experienced picking up girls even though you're a computer geek.

 

so right back at ya ;).

Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.

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6 minutes ago, IAEInferno said:

Movies represent life 100% accurately and all of them can be done.

Yes.

And, since you obviously haven't seen that movie, I'll give you its most valuable life lesson: Never go for the blonde one.

 

6 minutes ago, IAEInferno said:

You don't even watch that movie.

Sure you do.

"Do as I say, not as I do."

-Because you actually care if it makes sense.

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1 minute ago, Dash Lambda said:

Yes.

And, since you obviously haven't seen that movie, I'll give you its most valuable life lesson: Never go for the blonde one.

 

Yes you do.

 
 
 

Firstly I think you live under a rock, movies aren't 100% accurate.

 

No, I didn't quote you on that.

Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.

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2 hours ago, IAEInferno said:

Firstly, I think you live under the rock, movies aren't 100% accurate.

"The" rock? How the hell should you know where I live? My rock's special, don't friggin' presume to know me.

Christ.

"Do as I say, not as I do."

-Because you actually care if it makes sense.

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12 minutes ago, Dash Lambda said:

Yes.

And, since you obviously haven't seen that movie, I'll give you its most valuable life lesson: Never go for the blonde one.

 

Sure you do.

 

 

Movies are 100% accurate.

 

Christ

 

Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.

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Boy: "Hey girl, are you a school?"

Girl: "Huh?"

Boy: "Because I wanna shoot kids inside you"

Looking at my signature are we now? Well too bad there's nothing here...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What? As I said, there seriously is nothing here :) 

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Just now, Mr.Meerkat said:

Boy: "Hey girl, are you a school?"

Girl: "Huh?"

Boy: "Because I wanna shoot kids inside you"

 

I like this one.

 

Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.

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29 minutes ago, wrathoftheturkey said:

no, it's because of a variety of factors that lead them to be inexperienced with actually using them.

Am I allowed to debunk that? I think my graft game is pwetty strong ya know...(except that I have no self confidence xD)

Looking at my signature are we now? Well too bad there's nothing here...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What? As I said, there seriously is nothing here :) 

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Just now, wrathoftheturkey said:

probability, my friend, is not so easily disproved. 

Image result for normal distribution curve outlier

 
 

But you're there as well. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.

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