English error?

[njmyers3]

I'm writing a short story for English class and my friend says that my sentence has grammar errors but won't say what. Does this have any errors?

 

I get called down to the principal's office and see a kid that says, "Have a nice day." I decide not to be rude because I don't feel like getting in more trouble, and I say, "You too, man."

 

[Synawke]

I'm writing a short story for English class and my friend says that my sentence has grammar errors but won't say what. Does this have any errors?

Yes, I can tell just by reading it. But I am not solid enough in English to correct it with confidence 

[themctipers]

sounds like a fragment.

 

WHERES YOUR VERB!!!!!!!

 

I'm writing a short story for English class and my friend says that my sentence has grammar errors but won't say what. Does this have any errors?

[The Cool n00B]

Firstly, two different speakers means two different paragraphs.

Secondly, It's a weird tense that's kinda confusing.

[The Cool n00B]

sounds like a fragment.

 

WHERES YOUR VERB!!!!!!!

Lol that's not a fragment.

[njmyers3]

Firstly, two different speakers means two different paragraphs.

Secondly, It's a weird tense that's kinda confusing.

It's in first person.

[C_Mike]

I get called down to the principal's office, and see a kid who says 'Have a nice day'. I decide not to be rude; I don't feel like getting in more trouble, so I say 'You too man'.

 

 

 

That's how I would write it.

[The Cool n00B]

It's in first person.

That's not what tense is. That's point of view.

[themctipers]

Lol that's not a fragment.

you lied to me, english teacher!

[SansVarnic]

Try this;

I was called down to the principal office <insert reason>. After arriving another student said to me “Have a nice day”, I quickly responded with “You too man”.

[LabRat]

i got .....saw..........said  ( H - h )..............  decided........... didn't............  into......... trouble........... (and) del.............add( . )............... ( , ) del.

 

or maybe not?  I've never been much of a cunning linguist.

[FixedDevice]

Try this;

I was called down to the principal office <insert reason>. After arriving another student said to me “Have a nice day”, I quickly responded with “You too man”.

 

Instead of a comma, there should be a semicolon or a hyphen after "Have a nice day".

[SansVarnic]

Instead of a comma, there should be a semicolon or a hyphen after "Have a nice day".

Hmm your right.

[Gale]

Not really errors, but it's awkwardly phrased.

 

 

 

... see a kid that says, "Have a nice day."

 

... and I say, "You too, man."

 

Try to not repeat the same word so soon. Replace "I say", to something like "I responded with".

 

Do you have to tell the story in the present tense? If not, try using simple past.