Im 19 and tired of my life...

[Rujdaga]

Hey guys, well i live in Bosnia and Herzegovina , probably the worst country ever (salaries are like 500-600 euros per month, we have 3 presidents, prices of everything are skyrocketing, like a liter of diesel/gasoline is like 1.65 euros per liter) and i live with my parents (i have 2 older sisters one is 28 and one is 23, 23 year old one moved to Slovenia cuz of a college and 28 year old one went to Germany to work) and im a professional welder, i work in a firm where im doing 60% of the work, they want me to finish 5 jobs in a single day , i had a horrible childhood, my dad is an alcoholic and my mom is obsessed with religion (we're muslims btw), and i met one girl thats orthodox christian, and they are not letting me date her, cuz of her religion, they are saying how they will kick me out of the house etc etc, my dad pointed a gun on me once when he was drunk, broke my front 2 teeth cuz i tried to defend myself, i wanned to hang myself multiple times but some of my friends told me that its not worth it, now im on the edge, thinking about packing my stuff and leaving, or just doing the worst thing ever (what i said above) im really sick of it... Idk what can yall suggest... 

[Sousuke]

Thing is that the main thing is that your thinking about the alternative of packing your stuff an leaving. As much as it will be tough and you'll think of suicide being the easer option don't. You have years ahead of you and a profession which is applicable to every single country around the world. Both of your sisters have already left and I am sure that they would be able to give you loads of advice on moving to another country and may even have you on their sofa for a while. You have options to go for you have a trade that can sustain you.

 

It's tough when you are living with abusive parents however this is your time to "fly the nest" and find your own way in life, ending it would be a mistake as you have potential to go for it!

 

Don't use a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Ask for help where ever you can find it even if you feel you'll be a burden on other people. Ask your sisters for help.

 

I've been in a place where I wanted to end my life and I have come out of the other end much stronger as a person, you can do it too.

 

Sources : Had mental health issues in the past. Current Mental Health Nursing Student and Psychiatric Health Care Assistant (UK NHS)

[Rujdaga]

13 minutes ago, Sousuke said:

Thing is that the main thing is that your thinking about the alternative of packing your stuff an leaving. As much as it will be tough and you'll think of suicide being the easer option don't. You have years ahead of you and a profession which is applicable to every single country around the world. Both of your sisters have already left and I am sure that they would be able to give you loads of advice on moving to another country and may even have you on their sofa for a while. You have options to go for you have a trade that can sustain you.

 

It's tough when you are living with abusive parents however this is your time to "fly the nest" and find your own way in life, ending it would be a mistake as you have potential to go for it!

 

Don't use a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Ask for help where ever you can find it even if you feel you'll be a burden on other people. Ask your sisters for help.

 

I've been in a place where I wanted to end my life and I have come out of the other end much stronger as a person, you can do it too.

 

Sources : Had mental health issues in the past. Current Mental Health Nursing Student and Psychiatric Health Care Assistant (UK NHS)

I know man, but the thing is, my sisters are brainwashed too by my parents, the oldest sister left 3 days ago to Germany, when she was there i was feeding her, i was like her husband... My other sister thats 23 years old, is religious af, they would never want me to date this girl i met, shes the most amazing girl i've ever met in my life...

 

[Sousuke]

4 minutes ago, Rujdaga said:

I know man, but the thing is, my sisters are brainwashed too by my parents, the oldest sister left 3 days ago to Germany, when she was there i was feeding her, i was like her husband... My other sister thats 23 years old, is religious af, they would never want me to date this girl i met, shes the most amazing girl i've ever met in my life...

 

So the sisters are out out of the question. Do you have any other family that could help or even a friend who could do a house share or something like that just to get out of your parents home or even this girl? 

 

I know that love is a powerful emotion which can cause undue stress depression and anxiety if you aren't allowed to peruse that due to your parents/religion.

 

Just remember that you have the ability to move on and leave your parents home, you can look to rent out a room somewhere, doesn't matter how small as you can move on when your able to. Have a look at if you can get support from the government or anything that could help you. 

 

You can do it, work on a plan to get out of there and go forward with that plan. That's the most important thing to do at the moment is escape the abuse of your parents even if you have to sofa surf for a while whilst you get a place to live. 

 

When you've left your parents house you can focus on this girl you want to date and where you can work to gain a stable financial situation which I know is getting harder but you can do it!

 

Believe in yourself, you can achieve anything you put your mind to, set yourself the goals you need to hit to be able to live happily and in a way you want to live. 

[Rujdaga]

2 hours ago, Sousuke said:

So the sisters are out out of the question. Do you have any other family that could help or even a friend who could do a house share or something like that just to get out of your parents home or even this girl? 

 

I know that love is a powerful emotion which can cause undue stress depression and anxiety if you aren't allowed to peruse that due to your parents/religion.

 

Just remember that you have the ability to move on and leave your parents home, you can look to rent out a room somewhere, doesn't matter how small as you can move on when your able to. Have a look at if you can get support from the government or anything that could help you. 

 

You can do it, work on a plan to get out of there and go forward with that plan. That's the most important thing to do at the moment is escape the abuse of your parents even if you have to sofa surf for a while whilst you get a place to live. 

 

When you've left your parents house you can focus on this girl you want to date and where you can work to gain a stable financial situation which I know is getting harder but you can do it!

 

Believe in yourself, you can achieve anything you put your mind to, set yourself the goals you need to hit to be able to live happily and in a way you want to live. 

Yeah, thank you soo much, me, my cousin and a friend of mine are thinking about renting an apartment (its 75 euros per month) and yeah, well government here sucks, everyone is corrupted, everything is getting more expensive and they are not raising our salaries...

[wasab]

didnt you post the same things some months ago? 

500-600 Euro per month is slightly above the per carpita in your country. Considering the fact that medium income often is half of that of average per carpita(depending on how deep the inequality is), i say you are earning more than half of the people in your country and at 19 years age, that is not too bad. You may not like your life but you arent starving. Trust me, people from worse off third world have way worse. Right now, it seems you dont like your family and you have not much success in your romantic life. You can change your job but you cant change your family and finding rommanctc partners are a total seperate issue. I suggest you figure out what you can control, and what you cant and find ways to make changes. 

[HQuan]

Don't hang your heads up, instead hang up with us, talk with us, to find a better solution, or even a better life.

[Rujdaga]

3 minutes ago, wasab said:

didnt you post the same things some months ago? 

500-600 Euro per month is slightly above the per carpita in your country. Considering the fact that medium income often is half of that of average per carpita(depending on how deep the inequality is), i say you are eraning more than half of the people in your country and at 19 years age, that is not too bad. You may not like your life but you arent starving. Trust me, people from worse off third world have way worse. Right now, it seems you dont like your family and you have not much success in your romantic life. You can change your job but you cant change your family and finding rommanctc partners are a total seperate issue. I suggest you figure out what you can control, and what you cant and find ways to make changes. 

I posted a similar thing, but here u cannot controle anything, ur parents still think that ur 12 years old and not 20 or 30

[Rujdaga]

2 minutes ago, HQuan said:

Don't hang your heads up, instead hang up with us, talk with us, to find a better solution, or even a better life.

Yeah, thank you man!

[wasab]

6 minutes ago, Rujdaga said:

I posted a similar thing, but here u cannot controle anything, ur parents still think that ur 12 years old and not 20 or 30

At 19, why would you need to listen to your parents? You have a job, you have an income, feel free to move out and give them the middle finger if they are toxic. 

 

75 Eruo per month apartment on a 500-660 sarlay is like 12ish% of your income monthly. I live in the States, people here regularly paid above 30% monthly income for their housing. I dont think high prices is a thing where you are if rent is this affordable. If you cant make ends meet, learn to budget and read up on financial literacy. What you want and what you need are seperate things. 

[Montana One-Six]

Someone told me once that: "Family isn't blood. Family are those who want you in their life. Those who accept and love you the way you are and care for you no matter what." If that isn't the case then it maybe is your blood but not your family. So it is time for you to find or make that family that deserves you and for that you have to leave those who are not family (in that sense) behind.

 

I know it is hard to leave everything you know behind but apparently staying isn't an option at all. You have your whole life before you, don't waste it because of people that don't accept and love you and the way you are. You deserve to live a happy life that isn't restricted or tainted by some old antiquated rules or strained relationships.

 

Leaving seems like the only viable option. If you leave your parents home don't tell them where you are going just tell them you are. Depending on how big the city or town is where you are now consider moving to a different city so you get further away from all of it. I don't know how serious it is with that girl but if it is talk with her so you can figure things out so it works out the best way for both of you.

 

[Rujdaga]

7 hours ago, Caroline said:

Ok so I'm not a therapist or anything, just... try to switch your mindset to the positive side, like I see you complain about $500 being a low wage, I earn about $180 a month at an IT junior level job and that's WELL over the average in my country that's about $95, even dogecoin and the Fortnite fictional money is worth more than the monopoly papers I use on a daily basis, inflation last month was 18.5%, in a month, prolly not even countries waging war against each other have that much throughout an entire YEAR.

3 presidents, sounds like a sort of internal clash, I lived through a period of chaos and anarchy, I was 2 years old but hey, the consequences of it last to this day and tbh it doesn't matters who's president, you could say I was born during an hyperinflationary period and I still do, I don't know what's like going to a store and paying $2 or $5 for a whole basket of groceries, I sell things that have so many zeroes on them I'd be richer than Elon Musk if it was dollars rather than worthless shitcoins, to give you an idea a pair of shoes nothing fancy costs a couple millions, the lowest denomination bills are shredded because the paper is worth more than what's printed on it, coins stopped being manufactured because it's not worth to make them anymore and the few still in circulation are being melted.

 

You're a welder, sounds like a good job, you could get paid a bit more if you move out to other country, living in Europe you have it a bit easier than say me if I wanted to move out, I'm a ballerina and dance instructor and let's say there's not a massive demand for someone like me out there, I'm working in IT due to contacts and pure luck.

I'd say unless you're 1% and have everything sorted out by your parents since the day you were born we're all mostly improvising and trying to keep afloat in this mess that's life, when I was a kid I wanted so bad to become a famous actress but things didn't go as planned, it was silly though. Then it took me a while to realise my talent isn't dancing but tech, electronics, electricity, repairing stuff, dealing with servers and computer, it's like studying law and then working as a car mechanic, there's light years of difference between those two things, but that's what I like and what I'm good at, thinking of signing up for adults trade school or even a community college.

 

But, is my life miserable because I'm living in a long forgotten country ravaged by poverty, crime and drug cartels? I'd say it's not, maybe I'm dumb but I always try to look at the bright side of things, what I have rather than what I want or what if... and try to help others by using what I know, volunteering in a recycling plant, repairing computers and appliances, sometimes doing something as simple as pulling a couple of wires and installing a light switch, thing is, you can't fix other people, you can't change your dad being an abusive alcoholic, you can't change your sisters, you can't change the angry guy in a bicycle that almost hits you when crossing a street, so you could try avoiding them, well that's how I see things at least, living in a shelter or renting a cheap apartment or even a single room for a while wouldn't be the end of the world.

 

Thank you soo much for this, u really helped me.

[Imbadatnames]

1.65 a litre for diesel is amazing, it’s 2.10 here