My Random Writing

[_ASSASSIN_]

don't know why anyone would find it relevant, but I have some creative writing we did for school with a couple friends of mine, I thought it was rather decent and that's the reason this post exists. (btw sorry for extremely rushed ending, we had a page limit of 8)

it's Sci-Fi for anyone interested
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Rqg8CgVqNTXpv9tFmGJrjgPNbykzdWxAlOMfBh0cios/edit?usp=sharing

also forgot to say, we made a lot of references that I forgot of, try and look for them even though half are in clear sight

[megadarkwood]

ummmmm where is it?

[_ASSASSIN_]

ummmmm where is it?

it's here now, had to use google drive

[megadarkwood]

it's here now, had to use google drive

Ill read it when I get time

[_ASSASSIN_]

Ill read it when I get time

yay

[helping]

yo this is kinda long

[_ASSASSIN_]

yo this is kinda long

yo, because there is actual character development and story arcs

[helping]

yo, because there is actual character development and story arcs

are you looking for criticism?

[_ASSASSIN_]

are you looking for criticism?

you are welcome to, just posted it for teh lulz

[helping]

you are welcome to, just posted it for teh lulz

Well if you're going for writing improvement I would look it over and lightly critique, but if it's just w/e for fun I won't really bother, up to how much you value it.

 

but skimming the first paragraph I would point out that I would avoid citing aurora as a simile because, depending on your target audience, some might not know what that is and more importantly most people have not seen one. Regardless if you have or have not it may not invoke the same feeling or have the same gravity/significance. If you understand what I'm getting at.

 

Something more people can imagine clearly or have experience is probably better suited, like the finale at the showing of fireworks or a shower of sparks. The simile should clarify and give an experience as substitution for something they cannot experience.

[_ASSASSIN_]

Well if you're going for writing improvement I would look it over and lightly critique, but if it's just w/e for fun I won't really bother, up to how much you value it.

 

but skimming the first paragraph I would point out that I would avoid citing aurora as a simile because, depending on your target audience, some might not know what that is and more importantly most people have not seen one. Regardless if you have or have not it may not invoke the same feeling or have the same gravity/significance. If you understand what I'm getting at.

 

Something more people can imagine clearly or have experience is probably better suited, like the finale at the showing of fireworks or a shower of sparks.

very nice, will keep that as a toolset in future writings, I don't care how much you critique this, it's not the best I could do because of time constraints, page constraints and having to split up the writing into groups

plus I wrote this last year