Totally off topic

[Digideath]

First off. I've been away from the forum for a few months. Thats because i have mental health issues. I kind of started off on an episode on here and ended up loosing it big time. Then ended up in hospital for a couple of months.

Just so you know. I'm currently diagnosed with mood disorder n.o.s (a non average type of bipolar disorder), the adult version of adhd and a general anxiety disorder.

I used to be diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder but that was lowered a few years ago to mood disorder n.o.s because i got on top of it and took control back.

Yeah that was then. This is now. I've been through so much shit since then, i don't even want to begin explaining it. Deaths. Relationship breakdowns. You name it. But the psychosis has ramped up on me. I'm getting it severe. I'm back to the schizoaffective levels again. And i know why. It's not just the shit i've been through. My anti psychotic isn't working anymore. It doesn't even help now. I'm taking a controled substance (in the uk) and it doesn't even work any more. So i need a new anti psychotic. The problem is this.

Due to the severity of the system here in the uk, if i openly declair that im having psychosis as bad, they will diagnose me schizoaffective and that's me screwed. Because if youre schitzoaffective then your not fit enough to look after yourself. If youre not fit enough to look after yourself then you arent fit enough to look after kids. I have 3 kids. 2 sons and a daughter. I would be lost without them. It would hit me harder than the disorder itself. I've been through it before.

And that's where im at. If i'm honest and i tell them how bad it is, they will throw the book at me. I will end up with the crisis team up my arse, rulling every part of my life and they will tell me yet again, that im not fit enough to have my kids stay with me. But i need new meds. I need a new anti psychotic. So what the hell am i supposed to do?

And yeah i know this is a tech forum but it has some of the most intelligent people ive met so maybe one of yous can tell me, just what am i supposed to do?

Fyi, there is obviously a lot more to this. I'm cutting it down to make it quicker and easier to read.

[Andreas Lilja]

Not a doctor but from experience, did you try clozapine?