I think the one thing you guys are missing is that the lower the performance of the GPU the less vram it will need, for example the 460 gpu simply cant draw the same amount as a 680 gpu therefore with the 1gb vram on the 460 the card is more likely to be bottle necked by the actual power of the GPU than the amount of Vram it has.
saying running battlefield 3 on a 680 uses 1.5gb of vram if the 460 only has enough power to render enough to use 600mb (random number for an example) of vram is irrelevant. .
The texture settings you run on a 460 to get a playable fps will pretty much never exceed 1gb in my books.
I know nothing about the workings of GPU's by the way, this just seems like logic to me. If anyone bar Mr Freeman has an opinion I would like to hear it.
If it's something to do with the connection rub the connectors with an eraser when you reseat. It's worked with ram in the past for a previous troubleshoots here.