Need life advice

[johnadams123412]

I don't know if this is the right section, so I'm sorry if it isn't.

 

Let me give you guys some background, I'm 18, just finished my first year of college (America for those of you who are wondering), well barely finished, I ended up flunking 3 classes. 

I'm here because I haven't got a goddamn clue of what I should do with my life. I'm literally all over the place. I'm lost confused, and I feel like if I wait too long im basically done for and life is over. No I don't know what interests me because I literally lose interest in things fairly quickly. I get distracted by the littlest things, I just need advice from someone older who know what im talking about. Who's experienced what the actual heck is going on. I feel like at this point life is literally a really big maze with no correct path. 
Again sorry if im not allowed to be posting this here. 
Any questions, Ill answer. 

[Gale]

Let's start with this question: Which major did you choose and why? Or did you just go undecided and chose random courses?

[SSL]

Do you have hobbies? Or do you become disinterested in everything?

[Nuluvius]

11 hours ago, IshGames said:

I feel like at this point life is literally a really big maze with no correct path. 

Welcome to the real world.

 

More information is required as others have already highlighted.

[johnadams123412]

11 hours ago, Gale said:

Let's start with this question: Which major did you choose and why? Or did you just go undecided and chose random courses?

undecided and random, I was thinking of computer engineering/science but as of now I dont know. 

 

11 hours ago, SSL said:

Do you have hobbies? Or do you become disinterested in everything?

I mean I play a lot of video games, but even then I become uninterested. 

 

1 hour ago, Nuluvius said:

Welcome to the real world.

 

More information is required as others have already highlighted.

 Well the real world sucks, Id like to make a return ;(

[SSL]

1 minute ago, IshGames said:

I mean I play a lot of video games, but even then I become uninterested.

 

Are you depressed? ADD? This sounds neither normal nor healthy. Have you spoken with anyone in your life about this?

[jollander]

Let's get to know you a bit. You don't have to answer, but the questions you do answer have to be 100% honest. Question yourself, be honest with yourself when answering.

 

• If you were given a large sum of money (whatever sum you want to imagine) that you had to spend within 4 weeks - what would you do with it? 
• If you could try a new experience (anything what so ever) completely anonymous and without risk of being judged by others - what would you try?
• Be completely honest with yourself when considering this question (hard to do): When you've felt jealous in the past, what has it been about? What did that person have or do that made you jealous? 
• Prioritize in order of most importance to you personally: Money, Sex, Career, Friends, Family, Adventure, Variety (experiences), Safety, Relationships, Travel
• Would you call yourself an introvert or extrovert? When answering this, there are no in-betweens.

 

[johnadams123412]

1 hour ago, SSL said:

 

Are you depressed? ADD? This sounds neither normal nor healthy. Have you spoken with anyone in your life about this?

i thought everyone goes through something like this? like a phase? No I havent, I mean I speak to friends and they tell me to chill out and to keep pushing because eventually things fall into place. As for ADD, depression, have never been diagnosed, so no I dont think so. 

 

1 hour ago, jollander said:

Let's get to know you a bit. You don't have to answer, but the questions you do answer have to be 100% honest. Question yourself, be honest with yourself when answering.

 

• If you were given a large sum of money (whatever sum you want to imagine) that you had to spend within 4 weeks - what would you do with it? 
• If you could try a new experience (anything what so ever) completely anonymous and without risk of being judged by others - what would you try?
• Be completely honest with yourself when considering this question (hard to do): When you've felt jealous in the past, what has it been about? What did that person have or do that made you jealous? 
• Prioritize in order of most importance to you personally: Money, Sex, Career, Friends, Family, Adventure, Variety (experiences), Safety, Relationships, Travel
• Would you call yourself an introvert or extrovert? When answering this, there are no in-betweens.

 

 Ill answer anything if it helps. 

 

- Probably travel, buy a nice car, help out my family with debt

- New experience, honestly trying things that I wouldn't be allowed to do, (drugs), im not saying its a wise choice, but curiosity will get the best of me. And no I dont mean bud, I mean like something hard. 
- Girl leaving me for another dude, happened twice. 2 different girls, 2 different times, leaving me for someone else. I can always remember the feeling. 

- Money, family, adventure, friends, sex, career, variety, travel, safety, relationships. (If you asked me a few weeks ago I wouldve put relationships in the front) 

- Definitely extrovert. I put myself in postions where Im the spotlight. Most of my old highschool know me because of this, I was the funny guy that entertained everyone. 

[SSL]

1 hour ago, IshGames said:

i thought everyone goes through something like this? like a phase?

 

The not knowing what you want to do part, definitely. I don't think you have anything to worry about there. But becoming bored with everything is somewhat less usual, I think; but it could just be you haven't found the right thing yet.

[johnadams123412]

13 minutes ago, SSL said:

 

The not knowing what you want to do part, definitely. I don't think you have anything to worry about there. But becoming bored with everything is somewhat less usual, I think; but it could just be you haven't found the right thing yet.

I literally cant stay focused to anything though. Even with t.v shows, after the first few episodes i start something different, movies, games, life, its very bleh.

[SSL]

1 minute ago, IshGames said:

I literally cant stay focused to anything though. Even with t.v shows, after the first few episodes i start something different, movies, games, life, its very bleh.

 

And how long has this been going on?

[WoodenMarker]

16 hours ago, IshGames said:

I feel like if I wait too long im basically done for and life is over.

I feel like at this point life is literally a really big maze with no correct path. 

You probably have another 60 years or so of waiting before your life is over. Life is long and the world is big.

There's no rush to figure out what you want to do. I think that's something you spend your lifetime doing.

Think about it. What would you end up doing if you ever 'figured it out'? I'd assume you'd find the next thing to figure out.

I wouldn't call life a maze since it isn't a puzzle to some end-goal. Life is your own personal adventure.

 

If you're not sure what interests you, the answer is at least Linus, tech, or just the tip.

[johnadams123412]

13 minutes ago, SSL said:

 

And how long has this been going on?

a year or 2? Its just getting the point where I dont know what to do. 

 

 

13 minutes ago, WoodenMarker said:

You probably have another 60 years or so of waiting before your life is over. Life is long and the world is big.

There's no rush to figure out what you want to do.

I wouldn't call life a maze since it isn't a puzzle to some end-goal. Life is your own personal adventure.

Well being that im in college, Im assuming I have to know now, I dont want to be the dude that lives in the basement doing nothing with my life. I feel so useless as cringe as it sounds. Im not asking for pity or anything I just need to know 

[pyrojoe34]

2 hours ago, IshGames said:

thought everyone goes through something like this? like a phase?

That's pretty normal, most people go though some sort of identity realization or restructuring during their college years, it's not abnormal. Also, there are a ton of distractions in college which will rapidly teach you to organize your time and work efficiently. What you should concentrate on is identifying your interests (try new things, you might have interests you don't even know about yet) and deciding how to integrate them into a possible career path. Once you find the things that interest you, you can use it as motivation to do well in all the boring "core" or "gen-ed" classes you have to take. Once you get into higher level courses in something you enjoy school stops being so much of a grind and starts become more fun.

 

I also have a pretty short attention span and can lose interest pretty quickly, it helps to make sure you have a balanced life with multiple interests and hobbies that you can use to take a break from the things you might be losing interest in due to over-saturation.

 

You can also use your university's disability services (don't get caught up on the stigma or the word "disability", now is a great time to stop caring what people might think of you and start to think about what is best for you), they can give you advice and possibly determine if you may have an attention disorder that needs addressing. The difference treatment can make in those who need it is enormous and well worth the effort.

 

College is a new challenge for everyone. I went through all of highschool without ever studying and doing homework during passing periods. I got straight As and would be bored out of my mind. My first two semesters of undergrad I found out that I have no idea how to study and learn when I was actually being challenged. I did really poorly (I thought about switching to an easier major, settling for being a C student, etc) and had to teach myself how to learn, how to study, and start to actually dedicate a real amount of time to studying (~25hrs/exam at the library in addition to going to all the classes(don't skip) and doing all the normal and optional daily work for the class). A tutor from disability services can be very helpful in learning how to study, also joining or forming a study group for tougher classes really helped me since I was able to learn from the other members. It worked out well for me, halfway through my sophomore year it finally clicked and I started getting As and Bs again, I'm now in the second year of my Ph.D. and doing a lot better than I expected.

 

Don't give up yet, you just need to find your niche and embrace the challenge.

[SSL]

1 minute ago, IshGames said:

Well being that im in college, Im assuming I have to know now, I dont want to be the dude that lives in the basement doing nothing with my life. I feel so useless as cringe as it sounds. Im not asking for pity or anything I just need to know 

 

Not really. I ended up going for a second degree and then got a job in that area while still in school. I've run into three other people just in the place where I work who are also pursuing second degrees or transferred from other colleges and majors. It's not unusual to take several years to figure out what direction you want to take.

[WoodenMarker]

3 minutes ago, IshGames said:

Well being that im in college, Im assuming I have to know now, I dont want to be the dude that lives in the basement doing nothing with my life. I feel so useless as cringe as it sounds. Im not asking for pity or anything I just need to know 

What you're feeling is normal.

It might help to think about what has interested you for the majority of your life up to now. What's something that you have enjoyed for the longest time that you can invest your future in and probably won't change your mind about anytime soon?

Start off with thinking about what you want to do before thinking of what you should do.

[pyrojoe34]

5 minutes ago, IshGames said:

a year or 2? Its just getting the point where I dont know what to do. 

 

 

Well being that im in college, Im assuming I have to know now, I dont want to be the dude that lives in the basement doing nothing with my life. I feel so useless as cringe as it sounds. Im not asking for pity or anything I just need to know 

In addition to what I said in my comment above, what you're describing sounds like depression, ADHD, or a combination of both. Go to the university disability services and talk to a professional. See if a doctor believes you may need some assistance, there's no shame in it and it could make a huge difference for you.

[johnadams123412]

1 hour ago, pyrojoe34 said:

That's pretty normal, most people go though some sort of identity realization or restructuring during their college years, it's not abnormal. Also, there are a ton of distractions in college which will rapidly teach you to organize your time and work efficiently. What you should concentrate on is identifying your interests (try new things, you might have interests you don't even know about yet) and deciding how to integrate them into a possible career path. Once you find the things that interest you, you can use it as motivation to do well in all the boring "core" or "gen-ed" classes you have to take. Once you get into higher level courses in something you enjoy school stops being so much of a grind and starts become more fun.

 

I also have a pretty short attention span and can lose interest pretty quickly, it helps to make sure you have a balanced life with multiple interests and hobbies that you can use to take a break from the things you might be losing interest in due to over-saturation.

 

You can also use your university's disability services (don't get caught up on the stigma or the word "disability", now is a great time to stop caring what people might think of you and start to think about what is best for you), they can give you advice and possibly determine if you may have an attention disorder that needs addressing. The difference treatment can make in those who need it is enormous and well worth the effort.

 

College is a new challenge for everyone. I went through all of highschool without ever studying and doing homework during passing periods. I got straight As and would be bored out of my mind. My first two semesters of undergrad I found out that I have no idea how to study and learn when I was actually being challenged. I did really poorly (I thought about switching to an easier major, settling for being a C student, etc) and had to teach myself how to learn, how to study, and start to actually dedicate a real amount of time to studying (~25hrs/exam at the library in addition to going to all the classes(don't skip) and doing all the normal and optional daily work for the class). A tutor from disability services can be very helpful in learning how to study, also joining or forming a study group for tougher classes really helped me since I was able to learn from the other members. It worked out well for me, halfway through my sophomore year it finally clicked and I started getting As and Bs again, I'm now in the second year of my Ph.D. and doing a lot better than I expected.

 

Don't give up yet, you just need to find your niche and embrace the challenge.

I assumed other people have the same issue, but its been like this for a while and I really don't enjoy anything to be completely honest. I mean I do like to entertain, (not the stripping kind) but seriously I do like making people laugh. But its not something I can just go out and do without a huge risk factor. Other than that, I see myself just flunking out, unless I can actually push through whatever blockade my mind has. 

Disability is a huge word, would it really come down to that? I mean people have told me a lot, that I might have ADHD I just never paid attention because is it that big of an impact whether I know if I have it or not? 

How did you find out what you want to do though?

 

2 hours ago, SSL said:

 

Not really. I ended up going for a second degree and then got a job in that area while still in school. I've run into three other people just in the place where I work who are also pursuing second degrees or transferred from other colleges and majors. It's not unusual to take several years to figure out what direction you want to take.

Howd you find out though? Like howd you find out what interested you the most? 

 

1 hour ago, WoodenMarker said:

What you're feeling is normal.

It might help to think about what has interested you for the majority of your life up to now. What's something that you have enjoyed for the longest time that you can invest your future in and probably won't change your mind about anytime soon?

Start off with thinking about what you want to do before thinking of what you should do.

Normal in what sense?
What do I want? I havent got a single clue. I lack motivation for literally everything. Is that something you have going into college? I can make people laugh thats about it, and write a bit, or so im told. Since I was 14 till about 17 I wanted to go into game programming, I wanted to create something. Going into college, lost all motivation for it, didnt really feel like Id be capable of anything.

 

1 hour ago, pyrojoe34 said:

In addition to what I said in my comment above, what you're describing sounds like depression, ADHD, or a combination of both. Go to the university disability services and talk to a professional. See if a doctor believes you may need some assistance, there's no shame in it and it could make a huge difference for you.

Depression? I mean everyone gets sad or lack of life right? Its just a phase? Or am I being too ignorant. Adhd, maybe, but depression I dont know, what are common symptons? I really dont want to see a professional unless im almost certain. I feel like id be looked at differently if anything and maybe me knowing can negatively effect me. I rather not know than know. Is that being too stubborn? 

[WoodenMarker]

14 minutes ago, IshGames said:

Normal in what sense?
What do I want? I havent got a single clue. I lack motivation for literally everything. Is that something you have going into college? I can make people laugh thats about it, and write a bit, or so im told. Since I was 14 till about 17 I wanted to go into game programming, I wanted to create something. Going into college, lost all motivation for it, didnt really feel like Id be capable of anything.

Normal in the sense that many people go through the same thing. 

Don't think about motivation. Try to remember things you have enjoyed doing for the majority of your life--think in terms of what has stuck around the longest and not what you might enjoy the most. 

[AlTech]

12 hours ago, SSL said:

 

Are you depressed? ADD? This sounds neither normal nor healthy. Have you spoken with anyone in your life about this?

I have to be a bit honest. I kind of feel like OP at the moment. Confused, lost, without friends, not sure what to do with my life.

 

Even playing games doesn't really make me happy anymore.

[val0r0x]

Not many people know what they want when they're 18. I didn't, at least. As for the attention span, well, I again didn't have a very good one at 18. 11 years later, I'm still pretty bad at seeing things through, but it's not as bad as it once was. I feel like, career wise, no matter what you do, it's going to have tedious and boring components. I work in IT, and some days it's so mundane or boring, I consider leaving it all behind and doing something completely different. But then the next day, I'll discover something awesome or start a project I really enjoy and it's the best job in the world again.

 

To be honest, the one type of work that never enabled my short attention span to control or distract me, was hard labour type work; working with my hands. I did some work for family friends who own a concreting business and I could have just been digging a hole all day, it still just had this amazing ability to keep me going and engaged.

 

As others have pointed out, you can't discount the possibility of mental illness, even at 18. It can be a confusing time, more so when you feel like you should be achieving more out of life than you are. But believe me, the only pressure in that regard is the pressure you put on yourself. You have the excellent opportunity, at such a young age, to be able to try all sorts of different things. So go do it and eventually, something will click. Avoid debt as long as you can, so you're never locked into one specific job and enjoy your money. Work is just a means to an end. Work out what you enjoy doing with your spare time, if you're one of the luck ones (or you work hard enough), your hobby can become your job!

 

Edit: Oh and certainly don't worry about figuring all this out "before it's too late". Again, you're young. But hell, my best friend studied for year to become a vet, only to finally graduate and start in a clinic and learn that he hated it! He persisted whilst he studied IT of a night and when he felt suitably qualified, made the change and drastically affected the trajectory of his career and life, all for the better. The best thing is, he was 40!