Life problems, need advice.

[_JohnB330ci]

Hey there, yesterday night me and my girlfriend broke up (3 Years together) She ended it because she felt we was growing distant, which we was, and I completely understand, but the reason we became distant was because of another girl, me and her got close, and would talk to each other about everything, and we both felt something between each other, I just never went to her as she was always off with her boyfriend. Recently though, we have become abnormally close, as she broke up with her boyfriend. My girl wasn't fine with me seeing her, but I felt it was unfair, as we were friends, I wasn't cheating on her, or anything of those sorts, so I let her know when I was meeting with her, so If I didn't get time to reply she'd know why. Now after school, she has to wait an hour for her bus, and one night I waited with her to keep her company, and one of her friends walked past, and then let my girl know, but she never bought it up until yesterday. After my friend had left, I confronted my girl, as she'd been ignoring my phone calls and texts all day, at first she was lying to me, and I eventually got it out of her, as I already knew what was wrong, but wanted to hear her say it, she eventually came out saying she was jealous, and that it wasn't fair for me to be talking to another girl, I decided to argue back, and say that she is always talking to other boys, and yes I would get jealous, but I would confront her about it, as what bothered me the most was that she couldn't talk to me about it. I suggested we have a break so that we can try to sort out our personal issues then come back to each other, which she agreed to, but then, a couple of hours later, she rang me saying she was ending it, and I was distraught but didn't fight it.

 

This morning (I hadn't slept at all) I couldn't stop thinking about my friend, I was missing her, missing talking to her, and I'd had feelings for her for a while, so I rang her up and told her everything, and she released that she has had and still has feelings for me but didn't want a relationship because of her EX who full on screwed her over. I ended up snapping at her, that she strung me along, which in all fairness she sort of did, but we haven't spoken since, and I don't know what to do, I don't want to lose her as a friend, but at the same time would like more than to be just friends, really I'd just like some advise on what to do next.

 

Me and my friend had grown so close that it was tearing us apart at the same time, every now and then, we'd cuddle or just sit there hugging each other and whatnot, which I know some would consider cheating, but myself I do not, As I want to go back to normal with her, which is the stage that we was at, she feels like she shouldn't as she feels guilty for stringing me along, but I don't really care any more, as she admitted it to me, which (including my girlfriend) normally takes 10 lies before the truth.

[HKZeroFive]

If your ex feels insecure just because you're friends with another girl, it sounds like something you want to either smooth over or break up over. That isn't healthy in any relationship.

 

She has to respect your choice of friends, whether boy or girl. That's your life. Not hers.

[_JohnB330ci]

This comment is to fix the bug I have where the forum wont update at all unless I post this comment, it is not a bump, just a bug fix for me.

[_JohnB330ci]

If your ex feels insecure just because you're friends with another girl, it sounds like something you want to either smooth over or break up over. That isn't healthy in any relationship.

 

She has to respect your choice of friends, whether boy or girl. That's your life. Not hers.

We did already end, she called it off last night, as she felt she "wasn't good enough for me", and that was the point I was making, it isn't fair for her to control what friends I had?

[HKZeroFive]

We did already end, she called it off last night, as she felt she "wasn't good enough for me", and that was the point I was making, it isn't fair for her to control what friends I had?

 

Good on you. I understand why you might be hesitant on having a relationship with this other girl.

 

My advice? Talk to her. Is she ready for another relationship especially what just happened with her ex-BF? Are you ready, considering you just broke up with your GF? Give it time; don't rush it. Worst case scenario is that you two continue being friends.

[_JohnB330ci]

Good on you. I understand why you might be hesitant on having a relationship with this other girl.

 

My advice? Talk to her. Is she ready for another relationship especially what just happened with her ex-BF? Are you ready, considering you just broke up with your GF? Give it time; don't rush it. Worst case scenario is that you two continue being friends.

 

I'm trying to talk to her, but she doesn't want to hear any of it, I'm not hesitant on having the relationship, but I need her in my life still, I know me and my GF only just broke up, but considering we'd be distant for so long, it was like it had already happened.

[HKZeroFive]

I'm trying to talk to her, but she doesn't want to hear any of it, I'm not hesitant on having the relationship, but I need her in my life still, I know me and my GF only just broke up, but considering we'd be distant for so long, it was like it had already happened.

 

Just sounds like she needs time and isn't ready yet.

 

You remind me of a friend who broke up but that didn't stop being good friends with his ex. Friendship is always the most critical part.

 

Keep it casual for now. You're only friends at this point despite what both of you said. Your friendship now matters more than a intimate relationship. Don't distance yourselves just because of a little drama.

[_JohnB330ci]

I'm not one to judge, but if my girlfriend was hanging out with another guy, alone, at hours at a time, even with me knowing, I would feel uncomfortable as well.

 

Also, I got a bit lost. Who's the friend to which you're referring in the last two paragraphs

The one who I've grown to, and I know but she is always doing the same to me, but I put the feelings aside as I know she wouldn't cheat