Single Status Update
How to make Microsoft work on an older OS: find a vulnerability that can make their OSes a slave to a worm (https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2019/05/microsoft-warns-wormable-windows-bug-could-lead-to-another-wannacry/)
Non-silly text: Microsoft is patching Windows XP and Server 2003 to fix a vulnerability that could let another WannaCry worm spread. The vulnerability also affects Windows 7. It does not exist on Windows 8 or 10.