Threw it in a few different pcs, all pcs booted, none of them gave vision though. So I remoted desktoped to them with my phone and the screenshot is what I found.
I tried all kinds of different things. Updated BIOS, reinstalled drivers, messed with safe mode. Triple checked all my plugs. The thing that makes me think that it's really DoA is the fact I never get to see a BIOS screen.
If anyone still has some suggestions on stuff I can try, you'll have my eternal gratitude.
Thanks regardless.
Edit: forgot my language was set to dutch: The comment in the device manager translates to: the device has stopped working because problems were detected.
Not that useful unfortunately.