Help with my situations

[BigCake]

I know this is the most weird place to post in such discussion. I swear to god I need help with my depression. English is not my first language so please bear the pain. 

 

 

I am severely depressed because of my brother. He is emotionally and sometimes physically abusive with me(in fact rarely with my sisters aswell). He won't hesitate to use foul language on my mother when in rage. He threatened and still threats me that he might harm me in a very bad way if I stand in front of his shit. I just can't bear it anymore. Its been happening since more than 5 years.

 

Rarely he is positive and smiling. Stays in his room all day playing games and reading shitty ebooks that give him no advantage in his life. He is very manipulative, he is basically a free loader. He once told me that "we should give out to society" but in reality he never supported us in any way. He becomes very violent if my opinion is contradicting his opinion.  

 

Please please help me. I know this is not the right place to ask but I have been depressed about it since years. I had suicidal thoughts and sometimes I feel like I should just kill him so that we all get relieved of his full shit. Please I beg you, don't make fun of my situation. I have went through a lot and still going but now I am done with it. I feel like he is extremly anti social. I tried to seek help from specific websites but my post goes unread.What should I do? How do I cope with this situation? 

 

 

[Volbet]

The unfortunate reality of this situation is that no one here can really help you. We can give you advice, but in the end we can't magically fix your problems.

 

The first thing you should do is take this up with your brother. SInce he's the problem then making him handle it is the most straightforward solution.

If that has already been tried, then I would advice you to take it to the closest authority figure (mom, dad, legal guardian ect.) and have them deal with it. 

If neither of those things help you could go to your local social services or child protective services. If this situation is doing damage to your mental health then they should handle the case. 

[Kamina]

How old are you?

[BigCake]

2 minutes ago, Volbet said:

The unfortunate reality of this situation is that no one here can really help you. We can give you advice, but in the end we can't magically fix your problems.

 

The first thing you should do is take this up with your brother. SInce he's the problem then making him handle it is the most straightforward solution.

If that has already been tried, then I would advice you to take it to the closest authority figure (mom, dad, legal guardian ect.) and have them deal with it. 

If neither of those things help you could go to your local social services or child protective services. If this situation is doing damage to your mental health then they should handle the case. 

I live in a 3rd works country. There are no local child protection services. I can't talk to my brother about how I feel because he abuses me again. 

 

My father died 1 decade ago. My mother is growing old. I have discussed with her but nothing changes. She is too mentally harmed because of his actions and behaviour. This is the reason why I have posted my topic here. I can't talk about this situation without anyone else. There has not been a single day without deep inner pain and crying.

Just now, Kamina said:

How old are you?

I am 21

[Nuluvius]

Just now, Atalia Chez said:

I am 21

Sorry but at that age there should be no reason to still be living at home... Honestly go out, get a job and move out. Problem solved.

[Volbet]

Just now, Atalia Chez said:

I live in a 3rd works country. There are no local child protection services. I can't talk to my brother about how I feel because he abuses me again. 

 

My father died 1 decade ago. My mother is growing old. I have discussed with her but nothing changes. She is too mentally harmed because of his actions and behaviour. This is the reason why I have posted my topic here. I can't talk about this situation without anyone else. There has not been a single day without deep inner pain and crying.

If you're 21 then you could just move out.

I know it might not seem like the easiest solution, but it sure beats being abused by your brother.

 

[BigCake]

1 minute ago, Nuluvius said:

Sorry but at that age there should be no reason to still be living at home... Honestly go out, get a job and move out. Problem solved.

Its easy what you have said. I wm doing a part time web developing but that isn't  enough for me to live alone. I want to but I can't.

[BigCake]

2 minutes ago, Volbet said:

If you're 21 then you could just move out.

I know it might not seem like the easiest solution, but it sure beats being abused by your brother.

 

I have to take care of my mother and sisters. This is actually the main reason why I can't go out and live alone as of current situations.

[MorganO]

3 minutes ago, Atalia Chez said:

I have to take care of my mother and sisters. This is actually the main reason why I can't go out and live alone as of current situations.

what country? can you kill him without the authorities suspecting you?

 

[ZestyJalapeno]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I'm the same age as you, turning 22 this week and I can say life has definitely dealt me a better hand. I can't presume to imagine myself in your situation, but if I'm going to give you advice, it seems that your brother has control on your emotional state. You need to change that, you can't control anything in your life if someone is bitching you around in the first place, stop letting him do that. If he tells you he's going to hurt you, so what? He can't be hurting you any more than he is now from the looks of it. He's a bully and bullies like seeing their victims suffer, they feed off it. 

 

Depression is a serious thing, from a biological standpoint you need endorphins in your system to fix it. Exercise and simply doing what you like gives you that. Having friends to talk to can help also. Is there anyone you could trust outside of your family? 

[Volbet]

19 minutes ago, Atalia Chez said:

I have to take care of my mother and sisters. This is actually the main reason why I can't go out and live alone as of current situations.

In that case you have a couple of choices to make. You can man up and demand that your brother either treat you with respect or leave the house or you could up and move, deciding that your own well-being is more important than the well-being of the people who abuse you or enable the abuse.

[BigCake]

14 minutes ago, Dogeystyle said:

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I'm the same age as you, turning 22 this week and I can say life has definitely dealt me a better hand. I can't presume to imagine myself in your situation, but if I'm going to give you advice, it seems that your brother has control on your emotional state. You need to change that, you can't control anything in your life if someone is bitching you around in the first place, stop letting him do that. If he tells you he's going to hurt you, so what? He can't be hurting you any more than he is now from the looks of it. He's a bully and bullies like seeing their victims suffer, they feed off it. 

 

Depression is a serious thing, from a biological standpoint you need endorphins in your system to fix it. Exercise and simply doing what you like gives you that. Having friends to talk to can help also. Is there anyone you could trust outside of your family? 

I don't know if its the right strategy. But I think that I should just leave him be. Don't interfere with his shit and work on my own until I get away. 

 

Problem is, I mostly can't do programming while going through depression. I love programming but it doesn't help at that time. I don't have any friends. 

[BigCake]

16 minutes ago, Volbet said:

In that case you have a couple of choices to make. You can man up and demand that your brother either treat you with respect or leave the house or you could up and move, deciding that your own well-being is more important than the well-being of the people who abuse you or enable the abuse.

Its not possible. He is abusive. Talking him out is just impossible

[Volbet]

10 minutes ago, Atalia Chez said:

Its not possible. He is abusive. Talking him out is just impossible

Well, the power that he currently wields over you is granted by you. That power is yours to give and yours to take away. That's why you need to man up to him.

And if things get violent then you call the police.

[Nuluvius]

2 hours ago, Atalia Chez said:

I have to take care of my mother and sisters. This is actually the main reason why I can't go out and live alone as of current situations.

What? So they are incapable of working for a living and looking after themselves?

 

The only person that really matters in this life is one's own self (it's different when there's a partner and kids involved), life is far to short to be spent pissing it away for the sake of other people.